I would never touch anything even hinting of apostacy.
I exited still a believer, and would still defend the JW's.
Completely by accident I stumbled on the silentlambs website, I read story after story that sounded just like mine.
I had been sexually assaulted by my step dad, the elders did jack shit, and told me never to speak of it again, they never once checked up on me after sending me back home with my stepdad.
I had convinced myself that mine was an isolated incident, I had fallen through the cracks, perfect org run by imperfect men blah blah blah
But then I read all those storys, I came to realize that the elders had handled my case strictly by the societys rules, the society treated all sex abuse victims that way, ALL of them.
Their rules didn't apply to me any more, I read what I damn well wanted to, and thats how I found this site.