Posts by wifeofjw

23

How to tell my mom im moving out?? Need advice please

by cia112 in

jw
friends

well i'm 22 years old, still in college, i live with my mom but she is driving me crazy with her jw nonsense, ive been dealing with it all my life and i really cant take anymore of this, i have a boyfriend, non jw (which my mom hates) and i could barely see him because she doesnt let me go out!

we have 4 years together and i really dont want to keep on like this, im not baptized but i am a publisher.... .

so the thing is, i want to move out with my boyfriend but i have no idea how to break the news to her, she drives me nuts but shes my mother and i love her, i dont want to hurt her but enough is enough...she's probably going to disown me, but i really just want to be happy already...so does anybody have any ideas what i can do?.

wifeofjw

Hello cia112,

I'm sorry to hear of your situation with your mother. It is great to hear you are in college.

I think the first thing you need to ask yourself is "Do I have the means to take care of myself if I leave?"

Have you planned for all the expenses you will incur. Do you have a job? Have you created a budget? What if you break up with your boyfriend? Where do you go?

Do you have a community of people to support you if you lose all your JW friends?

Have a plan before you leave. So, when your mom asks what are you going to do about Fill in the Blank you have an answer. That way you can tell her "I love you Mom and it is time for me to leave home."

Take Care

19

Hey everybody! My sister has just posted here. Her name is "whathappened"

by GrandmaJones in

jw
friends

i am just thrilled.

i hope she starts a topic introducing herself to you all!.

wifeofjw

Welcome Whathappedned!

So happy to see you and Grandma Jones can support each other in this journey

38

I'm not sure how long I can stay married to the Witnesses

by wifeofjw in

jw
friends

i don't post often, but i lurk a lot.

i have fonund the information to be helpful and encouraging.. however, i'm not sure how much longer i can take being married to the jw's.. i have a wonderful husband, but he believes everything this cult tells him.

most recently he has decided that because the end is near we don't have to worry about our bills.

wifeofjw

Hi Peacefulpete! That is a great idea.

I have suggested that he get some kinda of training and he gets very upset about it. It seems the elders and folks at his hall are against all types of education. For example, he looks to cook I suggested a community college for culinary school. His reply No, No, No.

So maybe he is just paralyzed. How long do I wait?

35

Your advice is requested

by mrsjones5 in

ok, last night my oldest son's friend was over again.

he comes up to me and says that he's feeling alot of pressure from his mom and the congregation (my mother's .

wifeofjw

They are doing the exact same thing to a 16yr old in my hubands hall.

I'm often unable to talk to him at all they really keep him busy. However, when I do get a chance to talk to him I tell him about the things he is good at and how he can learn more about his talents in college.

I also tell me wait to get baptized because he is too young.

I'm glad he has you too talk to...that means he might be able to see a different life for himself.

38

I'm not sure how long I can stay married to the Witnesses

by wifeofjw in

jw
friends

i don't post often, but i lurk a lot.

i have fonund the information to be helpful and encouraging.. however, i'm not sure how much longer i can take being married to the jw's.. i have a wonderful husband, but he believes everything this cult tells him.

most recently he has decided that because the end is near we don't have to worry about our bills.

wifeofjw

MeanGirl - I thought this was a little strange too. However, I can think of 4 women off the top of my head that bread winners in my hubby's hall and 2 in a hall in the same area. That is 6 women who keep the families that depend on the wives to provide the bulk of the income for the families. The men are unemployed or work a part-time or low paying/low stress job.

I just thought of one more make that 7. If it was not for these ladies the families could not make it.

When I read things on this board I can see that they do things a little different in my area.

38

I'm not sure how long I can stay married to the Witnesses

by wifeofjw in

jw
friends

i don't post often, but i lurk a lot.

i have fonund the information to be helpful and encouraging.. however, i'm not sure how much longer i can take being married to the jw's.. i have a wonderful husband, but he believes everything this cult tells him.

most recently he has decided that because the end is near we don't have to worry about our bills.

wifeofjw

Mouthy it is so good to "hear" from you. I read your posts and I'm always encouraged. I'm glad you are well. I know you still believe in prayer so can you say a prayer for me & hubby when you can. I'll ask him to read the scripture tonight.

Sd-7 you are so right one of the hardest things to do is separate the Witnesses from your mate. I plan to work on this.

38

I'm not sure how long I can stay married to the Witnesses

by wifeofjw in

jw
friends

i don't post often, but i lurk a lot.

i have fonund the information to be helpful and encouraging.. however, i'm not sure how much longer i can take being married to the jw's.. i have a wonderful husband, but he believes everything this cult tells him.

most recently he has decided that because the end is near we don't have to worry about our bills.

wifeofjw

So I heard from the hubby that we may have a problem with unemployement getting processed due to error with paperwork. So, now it may take longet than a month to get unemployment. Maybe this will change his mind.

VE - It can be hard sometimes to respect a mate who is influenced so much be the cult. I try to remember the man I married is still in there somewhere and that not everyting he learned is useless.

Ding - Good point I will be sure to gently point this out

38

I'm not sure how long I can stay married to the Witnesses

by wifeofjw in

jw
friends

i don't post often, but i lurk a lot.

i have fonund the information to be helpful and encouraging.. however, i'm not sure how much longer i can take being married to the jw's.. i have a wonderful husband, but he believes everything this cult tells him.

most recently he has decided that because the end is near we don't have to worry about our bills.

wifeofjw

Alanv - It is true that he is a victim of the cult...so I want to try to be understanding. Also, marriage is work under any circumstances.

We are in the USA so he is getting unemployment that is part of the reason he sees no need to look for work right now. Of course this is less than his salary.

I did mention the Bible verse about the man providing I did not have the exact verse number...I will get that today.

Blondie I will ask him about the paying the money to New York. That will make him think. Since he wants to do some spiritual stuff is there a old Watchtower book I can suggest he read...maybe we study together to help open his eyes?

Thanks for the replies.

38

I'm not sure how long I can stay married to the Witnesses

by wifeofjw in

jw
friends

i don't post often, but i lurk a lot.

i have fonund the information to be helpful and encouraging.. however, i'm not sure how much longer i can take being married to the jw's.. i have a wonderful husband, but he believes everything this cult tells him.

most recently he has decided that because the end is near we don't have to worry about our bills.

wifeofjw

Gayle thanks for the advice. He is getting better at not spending everything for that I am thankful. We don't have children and at this point we cannot for this I'm also thankful. The kids would really suffer.

fokyc thanks for the encouragement. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one dealing with this situation. I forget other have been down this road. I just need to keep "a clear head"

38

I'm not sure how long I can stay married to the Witnesses

by wifeofjw in

jw
friends

i don't post often, but i lurk a lot.

i have fonund the information to be helpful and encouraging.. however, i'm not sure how much longer i can take being married to the jw's.. i have a wonderful husband, but he believes everything this cult tells him.

most recently he has decided that because the end is near we don't have to worry about our bills.

wifeofjw

Yes and because I'm not a witness he claims I don't understand spiritual things. He seems to think that a new job might be provided by satan to keep him to busy to do witness things.

I explained to him that he should not rush into a job and that I support him if he wants to change careers. I suggested he take about a month of time off to do the things he wanted and needed to do. He did not like this idea.