I started to volunteer also. I am with an organization that helps the elderly with learning. The volunteers are assigned a partner and we help them with whatever they want to learn, whether it be art, crafts, writing, reading, or whatever. The goal is to prevent age related dementia. It is hard sometimes, but also rewarding. When I was a Witness I found the field service to be very difficult. Going around telling people that they were in the wrong religion and would die at Armageddon just never felt right. I always thought it would be more rewarding to help people in a more concrete way. It took a while, but I finally got to do it.
LisaRose
JoinedPosts by LisaRose
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Service as a way of relieving our painÂ…
by Londo111 inservice as a way of relieving our pain.... .
no, not field service.
i cant believe all the empty hours i spent knocking on doors, going where i was not welcome, not wanting to be there either, foisting magazines on people, occasionally studying with people in an effort to indoctrinate them.
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Not meaning to sound sexist : In general are women more emotional/feel good about religion,and men more proof/doctrinal in their acceptance ?
by smiddy ini`m just speaking from my own experience here ,and it has occured to me that over the 33 years i was a witness and in the six congrgations i was a part of , except for a few exceptions, the majority of sisters in the congregations did not have a grasp of the so called deeper things of god,according to wt theology, sure they could run off " bible topics for discussion" sermons but very few could take a discussion any further than that.whereas i was aware that males seemed more likely to delve deeper into, not only the scriptures,but also the wt interpretations as a whole.
don`t get me wrong a few women left me for dead in their comprehension of topics ,but i`m just saying overall i found this to be the case ... my experience... smiddy.
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LisaRose
TD, very interesting post, I could not have expressed it so well. I agree, as a woman I felt a disconnect with the organization, as if I had no purpose. At work I was treated as an equal to anyone else, man or woman. At the kingdom hall, I was nothing, I had no function, my opinions counted for nothing. I remember an inexperienced MS trying to conduct the meeting for field service. He was so incompetent, I realized I could have done a much better job, but of course that couldn't happen.
Those who have been to Bethel describe a male dominated culture, where women are grudgingly tolerated. This organization is blind to its faults and stuck is a way of doing things that doesn't work anymore.
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I have 3 daughters who hate me and 2 grandchilden banned from seeing me. Having a sh*t day now.
by Amelia Ashton inmy youngest who i haven't seen for 6 months came to collect the rest of her stuff from the flat today.. she was cold and indifferent towards me until the dog went for her because she no longer knows her and then she blamed me for everything that has happened.. having trouble keeping it together now..
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LisaRose
You are not a fraud, you were eceived and lated like we all were. I glad you are feeling better. Stay in touch with your children, perhaps you will all grow closer as time goes on, they too are healing from being involved in a cult. Send letters and emails, even if they do not respond. I am not as close to my children as I would like, but they are adults with busy lives, and that is the reality of relationships, they will love their children more than you, just as you probably loved your children more than your mother. I have apologized to them for ever being in this religion, and I have tried to make it up to them as best I can, and that is all you can reasonably do.
Take care, and I hope you find some peace about the situation.
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Loving sister passed away and guess what and elder said...?
by suavojr inthe cycle continues.... two weeks ago a loving and fragile sister passed away due to her age and chronic health, she only had one son and 2 grandsons.
(she was the only jw in her family)when my wife gave me the sad news we immediately went over to the hospital to give some words of comfort to the grieving family.. .
what happened next was another cruel example of works for salvation vs. good deeds from love.
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LisaRose
It never seems to occur to these clowns that they if they had loving, supportive congregations they would have fewer people leaving because they got discouraged. Even those who are disfellowshipped for immorality, might not have done those things if they did not feel alone and depressed.
But this organization is not about helping others or loving and caring, it's about reporting hours, and earning your salvation by knocking on doors, and judging others by committee or by gossip.
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At what point do the individuals in the ORG need to take responsibility for their actions?
by vajeni82 inso, i'm sitting here, being pissed about my family.
both of my parents and my only sister are jws.
i haven't had a relationship with them since they i left in 2002.
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LisaRose
I understand how you feel, but Flipper is right that they are under mind control. If you hadn't left due to your marriage situation (I had to do the same thing), you might still be a Witness and possibly still think like that. We all have to accept some responsibility for being in this religion, but on the other hand we were manipulated and lied to.
I am going through this with my sister. After 30 years of being disassociated, she got blackmailed into returning in order to see her grandchildren. Now she won't talk to me. I am a bit angry, because she knew it was all a big lie, but now she is drinking the kool ade, but for many years I didn't talk to her, so I do understand the thought process that goes on. We were on Facebook, but I was mad and deleted her, as I felt if she wouldn't talk to me why should she get to hear about what is going on in my life. But now I am sorry because I think I should keep whatever contact she allows me.
There are now easy answers here, but I do know acceptance of their choice is the only way to have peace in your life.
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My wife just told me to move out...
by nolongerconfused inbecause of "religious" differences, she now wants me to move out and "separate"...i said what biblical grounds does she have for her request?.
she couldnt respond...she said she'd rather be beaten up by me than have an "apostate" in the house.... this org definitely encourages conditional love.... i don't know what to do...by the way, we dont have children.
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LisaRose
My husband was disfellowshipped only two years after we married. I stayed for another 26 years because I was told I could not divorce. It was a horrible marriage and it eventually forced me out of the religion. I don't think you want her to stay and feel like she didn't have a choice, like I felt. That will not work for either of you.
If you love her and want her to stay, you need to mend some fences. Apologize for making her so uncomfortable, she was not ready for it. You don't need to compromise or say anything you don't believe, but court her as if you are not yet married. Look for a way for you two to move forward in the relationship. Remind her that Jehovah hates a divorcing, but don't make her feel she has no choice, or that you will force her to abandon her beliefs.
I hope this works out for you
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What are the 3 most unusual things you have done?
by Lady Lee inok so we have all be jws so that isn't unusual.
supply pictures if you can.. i have ridden an elephant.
ok so it was at the zoo but it was still an elephant.
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LisaRose
I haven't done anything nearly as interesting as some of the others, but here goes.
I connected up with a guy I knew in high school, 28 years later. Moved to a different state so we could get married, we've been together 13 years now. Scariest thing I've ever done, but no regrets.
While I was living in Colorado, took the cog railway to the top of Piles Peak twice. The view from on top inspired the song, America The Beautiful. Lots of lightning too. But not much oxygen.
I went on a few antique buying trips in the Midwest with my best friend. We went to flea markets, antique malls and estate sales. We would totally fill her F150 pickup with junk. If you are in this business their is nothing more fun. One time my friend picked a motel to stay near a big antique show. I was dubious of someplace called the "affordo", but she assured me it would be clean (it's the Midwest!). The front looked decent, so we checked in. Unfortunately, the rooms lacked even basic cleanliness, and the lock could have been broken by a three year old. To top it off, there were 8 day laborers drinking beer right outside our door. We figured if those guys had enough beer even two old ladies like us might start to look good. We walked through the gauntlet of men and turned in our key (no, really, you can keep your $35). We got 5 miles down the road and I realized I left my phone in the motel. So, back to get the key, gauntlet of men, etc. We had to dive 80 miles to get a room, this was after the 10 hour drive to get there. I never my friend live that one down.
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Non JW involved with a JW
by LostInTranslation ini am a non jw who has been doing a fair amount of research on my own in hopes of finding some answers and understanding for my current heartwrenching situation:.
i have been dating a man for the last while, and we grew very close, very quickly.. .
suddenly he has pulled away from me, gotten very skittish and says he feels like he is leading a double life, and isn't ready for a relationship.. all the while stating that his impending divorce is the reason for his cold feet, which could be understandable except the marriage was very much "over" long ago.
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LisaRose
I think you at least need to have a conversation about this. He has hidden a very important fact about himself, which does not bode well for a long term relationship.
Having been there, I can tell you that Jehovah's Witnesses sometimes have conflicted feelings, sometimes wanting to do things that are not allowed (we are only human), and then feeling guilty and trying to "be better". Unfortunately this often leaves the other person involved in the dark, knowing something is wrong, but not knowing what.
You should consider that you are almost like the "other woman" in a love triangle (even if he is divorced and free to marry). He may love you and want to be with you, but will feel guilty and eventually go back to his religion. That is the reality. The fact that he has not disclosed this to you makes it even more likely.
I am sorry, but I think you would be better off ending this.
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Not meaning to sound sexist : In general are women more emotional/feel good about religion,and men more proof/doctrinal in their acceptance ?
by smiddy ini`m just speaking from my own experience here ,and it has occured to me that over the 33 years i was a witness and in the six congrgations i was a part of , except for a few exceptions, the majority of sisters in the congregations did not have a grasp of the so called deeper things of god,according to wt theology, sure they could run off " bible topics for discussion" sermons but very few could take a discussion any further than that.whereas i was aware that males seemed more likely to delve deeper into, not only the scriptures,but also the wt interpretations as a whole.
don`t get me wrong a few women left me for dead in their comprehension of topics ,but i`m just saying overall i found this to be the case ... my experience... smiddy.
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LisaRose
I believe there is a small bit of truth in that. I think women, as a whole, use their emotions a little more when making decision, while men tend to rely on logic to a greater degree. But of course women can use logic and men can feel emotions, the differences are not that great, and there is a wide variances in individuals.
I have read a lot on personality typing, Myers-Briggs. One of the four types that they use to classify people is whether they are thinkers or feelers. Men are more likely to be thinkers, women are more likely to be feelers, but I worked with many women who were thinkers, and men who were feelers. Neither is considered better, the ideal is to use both feelings and logic as the situation demands. Women are more likely to see the nuances of a situation and understand the feelings of those involved, men are more likely to see issues as logical decisions to be made, more black or white.
I am a feeler, though not extremely so. In my job, I used to write computer code, which is a logic based function, but my job also required me to interact with people and resolve issues, which used my feeling side more.
It is true when I was a Witness, I was not interested in the "deeper things"'. I was always more interested in the human side of the religion, how the scriptures could be applied in our lives to make us better people, better parents, etc. I read some of the discussions on here, debates on whether God exists, the role of science and faith, etc, and I find it interesting, but not to the point I want to join in. I am more interested in the problems people have as they leave a high control religion like the JWs, the human side.
So it's not sexist to acknowledge truths about the differences between men and women, what is sexist is thinking that those differences make one sex better than another. -
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What are the things you dislike most about JW's?
by Chariklo intop of my list has to be hypocrisy.
it runs right through, from elders downwards.
the literature and the gb are bad enough, but the bit that touches ordinary people, householders, students and ordinary rank and file is the false goodness that they put on like a raincoat.
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LisaRose
The fact that no matter what you do, its not enough. The constant guilt