you know it's funny, I guess it sounds like a "frightening" experience but it wasn't at all. I did *almost* panic for a split second but then I just didn't. I didn't even have to decide not to panic. I just didn't and it felt fine not panicing.
freedomloverr
JoinedPosts by freedomloverr
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56
Adventures in Meditating......
by freedomloverr ini know a lot of you do meditation and i thought i would share a recent experience with you all.
it's been almost 2 years since i left the mental bondage of the org.
and it's been a journey with lots of twists and turns.
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Interesting developments with my wife.
by Paralipomenon init has been quite a while since i've provided an update but recently things have been odd.
there have been alot little things i've picked up on that leads me to believe my wife is really struggling with the concept of remaining a witness.
i provide gentle coaxing here and there.
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freedomloverr
this is really awesome news Para.
the self help route was what really started me down the path of eventually exiting the org. I could see the *patterns* from my toxic family was the same in the way the org. ran things. It was hard to accept and admit for a long time.
she is letting herself explore new terrain. this is very promising my friend! -
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Adventures in Meditating......
by freedomloverr ini know a lot of you do meditation and i thought i would share a recent experience with you all.
it's been almost 2 years since i left the mental bondage of the org.
and it's been a journey with lots of twists and turns.
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freedomloverr
I know a lot of you do meditation and I thought I would share a recent experience with you all.
It's been almost 2 years since I left the mental bondage of the org. and it's been a journey with lots of twists and turns. I really didn't know where to turn to for answers when I left the witnesses. I started searching and really found the practice of yoga and meditating appealing. I've been doing those things since then.
I have been gaining so much depth and clarity with regular meditating. Lately, facing another twist in the road, my meditation has been different. I think I've been trying to force the energy for answers. Doesn't work that way, I know. After an especially stressful few weeks lately, I decided to do some yoga and just decided to kind of give in that morning. During this meditation I let my thoughts settle and really, just *REALLY* listened to my breath, and I felt somewhat trippy. (this happens often to me when I get deep enough into meditation.) All of a sudden my chest got tight and I felt like I literally couldn't breathe. It was a feeling of drowning. I almost panicked, but decided to ride this wave with my eyes still closed. I had an intution to literally knock on my chest, near the center of my rib cage. It felt better, and I started to literally choke and cough, and almost vomit. I had a wave of emotion sweep over me and I started to cry, deep, and painfully. I just tried to stay with it and let myself ride this wave. I was breathing through all of this, trying to catch my breath. After this wave passed and my breathing got easier to do the most amazing thing happened.
I took a breath and I literally could breathe in past this point in my body that air had never gone before. It was as if I opened a trap door and now breath entered rooms in my pelvis, my sides, under my ribs, etc., where I had never even known I could send my breath. It felt so good! It was such a pleasurable feeling I can only liken the sweetness of it to a sexual pleasure.
As you can imagine my meditating has taken on a deeper meaning for me. -
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Evolution of Richie: Post JW
by RichieRich ini have many hopes for this post.
ideally, it will be an eloquent explanation of my actions, more for myself than anyone else.
also, i hope that there are tons of others out there who have, or have had similar feelings and experiences who can contribute insight to the discussion.. as a witness, my mind was relatively closed.
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freedomloverr
I haven't read all the posts so forgive me if I am repeating....
perhaps it's intuition?
I usually tell people that I think I have an especially sensitive bullshit detector after leaving a life totally full of bullshit.
I try not to judge people right away. talk a little, get to know them. I don't let anyone in right away. I think it's a way of protecting yourself but I think all people do this more or less - whether you were a wit or not.
don't be hard on yourself. james thomas would probably say " sit back - observe yourself doing this, and say - hmmm. isn't that interesting." no need to judge youself about it.
peace and love richie man! -
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Update on my Dad
by ex-nj-jw indad had a heart attack and stroke on friday.
they actually think the stroke started on wednesday or thursday, very mild and escalated on friday.
the doctors have wanted to place a pacemaker and internal def.
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freedomloverr
***Anyway, I've spent almost every moment with dad, holding his had and telling him I love him. It's been a very long day and I think I'll try to get some sleep.***
(((hugs to you))))
so sorry for the heartbreak this is no dount causing you....
keep us posted on your dad. -
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AURAS......
by freedomloverr inwithout elaborating at length, there has been a lot going on in my life of late and i have sought out some therapies that i have used in the past.
they've helped a lot.
they are more along the lines of *natural* therapies.
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freedomloverr
from what I'm understanding loosie is that the white glow is the energy field around things. I guess some people just see that - no color. I usually see the white glow, but did see color the first time I saw auras.
maybe we need LIVELIFE and his professional opinion..... -
119
Great Books Thread
by Open mind inwhat are the top 5 books you would either recommend and/or have had the greatest influence on you?
(if you only want to mention one or two that's fine as well.).
if you feel like it, please briefly tell us why.
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freedomloverr
Tao te ching - oh man, how could I forget that staple of a book. thanks Narkissos
bigdreax - my husband just read "art of war" and it looks so good. I'll read that one next.... -
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Great Books Thread
by Open mind inwhat are the top 5 books you would either recommend and/or have had the greatest influence on you?
(if you only want to mention one or two that's fine as well.).
if you feel like it, please briefly tell us why.
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freedomloverr
In the Heart of the Sea by Nathaniel Philbrick
I'd like to read that - thanks! -
119
Great Books Thread
by Open mind inwhat are the top 5 books you would either recommend and/or have had the greatest influence on you?
(if you only want to mention one or two that's fine as well.).
if you feel like it, please briefly tell us why.
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freedomloverr
"siddhartha" and "power of now" - both recommendations from tetrapod
I'm reading "The marriage of the sun and moon" right now. really cool book.
"The handmaid's tale" - it's orwellian in nature and a really great read. -
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Just want to show you what we saw...
by Merry Magdalene inthe end of may my daughter and i were walking an overgrown path to the river, going to take pictures of each other in the wild roses, when we saw this--right at the edge of the path:.
"mommy, look," she said.
"oh no," i thought.
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freedomloverr
wow merry! that is so sweet!
thanks for sharing!