Narkissos’ point that “you can build self-value on approval from a group ( JWs , exJWs too... or other) -- or from the very opposite, by standing out or against a given group. In both cases you are still using the group” is where we endeavor to be in our actions and thinking.
However, once one is a Witness it is almost like being a citizen of a country. One cannot easily renounce one’s citizenship because of differences in beliefs or disagreement with the actions of a country. One could and likely would engage in a debate to express such disagreement.
It is insidious that we cannot engage in a healthy debate and express disappointment in or opposition to Watchtower positions. That path leads to losing one’s citizenship. It is sad to me that the only real choices are a stand against or a fade. The choice to “not use the group” is to me an end point of the two decisions.
For the record, we choose to fade. I resigned my position. I could, not in good conscience, conduct the bookstudy any longer. I still cannot believe that I could conduct the study in the Revelation book with a straight face. The last talk I was assigned was a special needs talk on education. I could not do it.
Fortunately, for years my family and I have always discussed how many of the Watchtower teachings are flawed. We were in the wait and see camp. Even before I resigned my family just went through the motions. We are now on active fade because of “health reasons” and “discouragement”. Interestingly, we may be the healthiest and most encouraged we have ever been.
We will get to the point where the group has no influence on us… just not quite there yet.
