Posts by Schism

17

Confessing to the elders...

by tan in

jw
friends

has anyone ever had to confess their sins to the elders...left out some of the details or "other gross" sins...but wondered if you were truly forgiven of your sins?

or was reproved and given back your priviledges but knew that you didn't tell everything.

how did you feel afterward?

First time: While I was spilling my guts about fornication, I decided that they had heard enough and I withheld my secret chronic phone sex addiction, in which I did have an addiction and I did it with lots of different people each night Yeah, they didn't need to know that....... But the guilt followed me CONSTANTLY. I was nauseated with guilt! Guilty, but still having phone sex...

Then, the second time I was in trouble, I wasn't confessing. I got caught doing a few um, things. After I was DFed for a while, I wanted to get reinstated, so I popped my head into the room where my JC was sitting and said, "by the way, I had sex with several married people". Umm, I was sincere in the way I said it, but I think it pissed them off too much to reinstate me then.... This go round, I wasn't so sorry and I was just faking sincerity so I could get back in.

And all before the age of 19..... *sigh*

So stupid

I hate myself (not)

45

Why I'm mad at god.

by Abandoned in

jw
friends

the past couple of days, i've been posting a lot about how disappointed and even disgusted i am with god and how he runs his universe.

i guess that probably offends some people.

i don't intend to make people feel bad, but here's what's been going on in my life lately:.

Schism

Hang in there Abandoned

That guy totally ratted himself out by running to tattle on you for being "homophobic". First of all, you can't get fired for being "homophobic", and second, if his superior has any brains whatsoever, he will see that this dude obviously ran to tattle first in order to look innocent. I just don't see any way this could work out in his favor. If they do, contact a lawyer. You can sue the company for allowing a sexual predator to harass you and then punishing you for defending yourself.

I agree with the others about declaring bankruptcy. It sounds like a good idea.

I hope you're feeling better now!

50

And God Gave Us Grace [Mouthy!]

by compound complex in

jw
friends

dear newbies and others somehow unaquainted with our resident grandma,.

"...the watchtower is determined to doggedly hang on to the lie that the time of the end commenced in 1914. there is no other explanation for the watchtower's persistent and seeming incurable interpretive schizophrenia.

" [cc: emphasis] -------(e-watchman.com/essays/dawn_new_world_order.html --- sorry, it's not clickable[?]).

Schism

((((((((mouthy))))))))

36

I got the phone call. WARNING, DEPRESSING!

by Schism in

jw
friends

well,my dad called last night, crying.

he says armageddon's about to start and he doesn't want to lose me.

he said i either need to become a good jw and go to the meetings, or he will have to distance himself from me so that he won't be so attached to me when the big a hits.

Schism

Another thing:

When he says this, "after all we've done for you" stuff, what am I supposed to say? I mean, he says that a lot.

About what Gary said about him making others act like himself. He does that. My mom freaks out exactly like he does. Her emotions are WAY more stable, and many times, he will be freaking out while she reacts in a rational way. But every now and again, it's like I'm being bombarded with 2 crazies.

This is all making sense now...

36

I got the phone call. WARNING, DEPRESSING!

by Schism in

jw
friends

well,my dad called last night, crying.

he says armageddon's about to start and he doesn't want to lose me.

he said i either need to become a good jw and go to the meetings, or he will have to distance himself from me so that he won't be so attached to me when the big a hits.

Schism

Wow Gary, I never really thought of that. I have been wondering why I couldn't imagine anyone else's dad calling them and breaking down like that. He's quite the man's man too, so he would never seek treatment. My mom did tell me once that his doctor said he showed symptoms of compulsive behavior. Maybe he does have some underlying illness. Like I said, he'd never take pills for that. He thinks people who take pills are dumb. That's just one of his very wrong opinions that he forces onto people, saying they are factual.

And it's funny to think that during that phone conversation he called me eccentric. He loves accusing other people of having mental problems. I don't know what he thinks would make me eccentric. I might have my priorities different than he does. I love my dog more than I love the average rapist, terrorist, etc. This bothers him to no end, and he thinks that my attitude is eccentric.

I just don't get it. I know JW dads, but if any of them have a DFed kid, they just cross their fingers and move on with life. Why couldn't I just be left alone to be married and happy?

He even had to go on about how I shouldn't have married my unbelieving spouse! I trust my husband. My mom, on the other hand, has every reason in the world to believe that my dad has had affairs. What's more important? A husband that's loyal to the org, or one that's loyal to his wife? Once, he pulled my husband aside and told him that he'd cheat on my mom with 100 women before he'd even talk bad about the org. Why would he say something like that? He is crying himself to sleep at night because I didn't marry a sicko like him to help push me to the KH?

UGH, now I'm just mad at him. Thanks for reminding me that he has mental issues. It's way easier to be mad at him than to feel sorry for him

36

I got the phone call. WARNING, DEPRESSING!

by Schism in

jw
friends

well,my dad called last night, crying.

he says armageddon's about to start and he doesn't want to lose me.

he said i either need to become a good jw and go to the meetings, or he will have to distance himself from me so that he won't be so attached to me when the big a hits.

Schism

LOL, yeah I can never get a word in with him anyway, so I just let him ramble on.

I would love to be able to make him think for just one second, but just by me saying that I'm not going to die, he said that I was starting to sound like an apostate I can't say one tiny little thing without getting a label.

I have to say something:

Not long ago, my elder uncle yelled and told me and my sis off because we showed up at his house uninvited. My dad even brought that up and said I needed to be forgiving. This uncle came to my house and apologized, but was apparently being fake because as soon as he left he kept talking to his kids about it behind my back and twisting things to his benefit. Why even say your sorry if you're not? So I am supposed to act like nothing happened? Why won't my own dad take up for me? My uncle told me he wasn't fussing and that I took it the wrong way. That was a lie, because he told my dad that he was mean to me because I'm headstrong and I didn't respect the sanctity if his headship (puh lease) over his home by asking permission, so he wanted to teach me a lesson and knock me down a few notches. What a jerk. The only lesson I learned there was to never trust anyone in that family again. I will always be headstrong. It's good to not be a pushover. I cannot believe my hot-tempered dad will roll over and show his belly to any elder just because he's an elder.

36

I got the phone call. WARNING, DEPRESSING!

by Schism in

jw
friends

well,my dad called last night, crying.

he says armageddon's about to start and he doesn't want to lose me.

he said i either need to become a good jw and go to the meetings, or he will have to distance himself from me so that he won't be so attached to me when the big a hits.

Schism

((((((((everyone))))))))))

I'm so glad I found this forum, because you guys honestly know what I'm going through. It's really stressing on a person.

I think my dad needs to understand, finally, that tough love never works with me. It only makes me want to rebel like a little kid.

My dad is middle-aged. He is normally quite dramatic, but it usually never ends up with him crying like that. But you have to understand, if it really was the end of the world (which, to him it is), and he really was going to watch his kid die, then he's not being overly emotional. Unfortunately, there's nothing I can say to convince him that it isn't the end of the world.

I'll be honest, I am blaming this one on that damn tract campaign. He made me and my SO go over there late one night, after the meeting when they got the tract, and handed us one of them. He then proceeded to sit us down and make us read it, paused, and asked us how we felt about it. He was so nervous that night because he thought this was going to bring the end. He and my mom were partying and drunk throughout the 70s, so they were unaware of this same tract back then. I wasn't born yet, so they had no reason to be so JW-ish. Now that they are older and have kids, they are freaking out.

He is acting like I don't know anything about being a JW and that I need to give it a second shot, this time paying more attention. But I've been one all my life, and I DO know what real JWs do and think, and they are so depressed and annoying that I don't want to have anything to do with it.

This stinks. Should I fake it and go along with it? That would be unbearable, but would having it my way and watching them panic be worth it? I hate the guilt trip thing. They are my parents, and I do owe them one for having to go through the trouble of raising me, but I can only to so much before it ruins my quality of life. It's not like I asked to be born. If they wanted to have kids, but couldn't stand the thought of them having their own viewpoints, maybe they should have had an abortion when they were pregnant with me.

Geez, I can't wait to get the followup phone call. "So, have you thought about what we talked about? Will you start studying with Sister Vomit now?"

36

I got the phone call. WARNING, DEPRESSING!

by Schism in

jw
friends

well,my dad called last night, crying.

he says armageddon's about to start and he doesn't want to lose me.

he said i either need to become a good jw and go to the meetings, or he will have to distance himself from me so that he won't be so attached to me when the big a hits.

Schism

Well, My dad called last night, crying. He says Armageddon's about to start and he doesn't want to lose me. He said I either need to become a good JW and go to the meetings, or he will have to distance himself from me so that he won't be so attached to me when the big A hits. Why do these people get so worked up? I tried to tell him that no one is dying and he said that Satan wants me to think that good people will survive, but that Jehovah's going to kill them anyway. I said, "well doesn't the Bible say he is the god of love?" He said, "yes but his love has limitations, because he has killed innocent children in the past". So I said, "if he's that mean, then why would you want to be on his side?" He said, "but he is loving and doesn't want anyone to die". And me, "but you just said he killed babies, and that's mean". Him, "but he is love". Me, "but that's not loving". Him, "but he is loving". I mean, we went around in CIRCLES. Cra-zy. His initial arguement on the side of the org was the demon talk. He said that no other religion knows what demons are, so JWs must be right about everything else. I told him other religions believe in demons. He said, "no, ALL other religions think that demons are dead people and only JWs know what they are". I said, "no, there are other people out there who believe they are what JWs say they are". His world is so small. He thinks that other religions means Catholics. He forgot that Christianity is a religion, and there are loads of others that aren't Christian. The Bible should be exposed for what it is, and thing that breaks families apart. I can't wait until aliens visit earth and humans start making friends with them. Then where will "jehovah" fit in? Oh wait, they will me materialized demons...right! He also wanted to argue about evolution and stuff. He changes as he goes along just to prove his points. He thinks that if one scientist is wrong, they are all stupid. He said they have no proof of anything they come up with. I think the Bible is lousy proof of anything except for the fact that woman-hating terrorists wrote it and they are still alive in the middle east . Of course, I didn't tell him all that. I pretended to still believe in the Bible. But if he really does keep my sisters away from me, I will DF myself because there will be no reason to stay in. They think I need more friends than my man and sisters, but they just want me to hang out with JWs, yuck. He also said he wants me to be happy. I told him that I am happy (I know I'm happier than him, because he admitted he and mom have been CRYING alot lately over me). He argues that it's impossible for me to be happy without god's holy spirit. Yeah right. These people totally worship the Watchtower and not god, as they say. Isn't he wrong for wanting to DF me out of his, and my family's, life? He is always the first person to want to talk to a DFed guy, yet he feels like he needs to protect his emotions by distancing himself from me. I say, if I'm about to die, couldn't he make my final days happy ones? lol Of course, he lumps all apostates into the same catergory (he thinks ALL ex JWs believe in the trinity). He also believes ALL worldly people believe the same things too. And if they tell me one more time that everyone at the Hall has been asking about me, I am going to say "good for them". I do NOT care, whatsoever, that bro or sis so-in-so asked about me! I don't! Why would that make me do anything? I like my life away from them. It's so sad to hear a grown man crying over some imaginary story. And he argues with me that I'm the one that's not happy! He made it IMPOSSIBLE for me to use the phrase, "I don't want to talk about it". Because he calls and asks weird questions immediately. He wants me to give Jehovah a second chance, *sigh* What to do now? It's not fair to me!

30

Advice please! (kinda urgent)

by Schism in

jw
friends

ok, so let's say you haven't gone to a meeting in a while.

then along comes the co visit (the first since you've stopped attending).

everyone has pretty much left you alone up until this point, right?

Schism

You guys all have some really great advice. I think I would like to be as honest as possible, but I don't want to have to say too much. One sentence or less would be perfect!

I like the idea of just saying, "I just don't want to go because I don't feel like going". It's going to be VERY hard to get away with though, because my dad is the type who will pull teeth, get dramatic, and start yelling before the conversation even gets to that point.

Abandoned, I wish I could think back to a time when I was zealous to be able to come up with ideas, but honestly there was not one single day when I felt like I wanted to be a JW. I wouldn't have stayed away from any "apostate", and I never would have tattled on someone else.

If I didn't have family in the org, I would have the time of my life pissing the congregation off. I would get DFed, then get reinstated just to have fun getting DFed again.

I don't want to hurt my family's feelings, but I am not into the whole mushy thing either. I'd rather just keep it simple and tell them that I don't feel like going and that I don't know why...I just don't.

Thanks everyone!

14

Oops, I gave my sister a Demon (twice)

by MeneMene in

first demon - - i sent my jw sister an email with some info about wts.

i just got a package in the mail from her.

course she disagreed with all the info but said her computer crashed right after she opened that email and she doesnt know if it can be fixed.

Schism

Mene, tell your sis to drive her car over to a car audio place. They will take it out of her dash and have a look at it. The same thing happened to mine and a local audio guy noticed that it needed to be cleaned from the inside out. Dust and deterioration can do this over time. I ended up having to replace it.

Ironic story though. When that started happening to my car radio, I actually consulted a Ouiji board and asked if that demon had been the cause of it. It told me yes, it was the cause. But turns out, demons do lie. The audio guy found the culprit and it was anything but "paranormal". Quite normal in fact...