Posts by nonamegiven

8

How do I..........

by nonamegiven in

i've only been on this board and one other board for a short time and i quickly learned enough to show me that jw is not the one and trur religion.

most of you know my situation, married with 2 kids and another due in a month.

how do i get out of this organization?

I am DF'd now but if I don't get reinstated I will loose contact with my family. I am trying to avoid that at all costs. I suppose the thing is, if I am DF'd I don't have contact with my family. If I get reinstated, then try to drift away I think I may get DA'd by default of sorts. If that happens it means I've put up with that crap (being df'd and going to meeting and being treated like yesterdays poop) was for nothing.

8

How do I..........

by nonamegiven in

i've only been on this board and one other board for a short time and i quickly learned enough to show me that jw is not the one and trur religion.

most of you know my situation, married with 2 kids and another due in a month.

how do i get out of this organization?

nonamegiven

get out?

I've only been on this board and one other board for a short time and I quickly learned enough to show me that JW is not the one and trur religion. Most of you know my situation, married with 2 kids and another due in a month. How do I get out of this organization? DA isn't an option because I must keep family ties open (all of my family are JW's). I planned on just drifting away but after reading other accounts, is this possible? Will the elders keep calling on me? I think so since my wife will still be going to the KH. If they keep calling back I think the issue will come to a head. Anyway, is there a way to drift away if th ewife keeps going regularly?

13

remarriage after divorce

by luffy in

does anyone know if after divorcing a spouse for reasons other than adultery, although adultery may be suspected, if i would be free to marry a witness if my ex spouse was in a relationship or remarried someone else after the divorce..ive heard different versions and am not sure

nonamegiven

My understanding is that if she is in another relationship, i.d. not married again you have to have PROOF of sexual relations (used condoms????) but if she is married you can assume the marriage has been consumated and you are free!!

35

Would you trust this guy to build an Ark?

by moshe in

i found this picture of otzi the iceman , whose mummy was found in the alps in 1991. he died about 5300 years ago.

that would make him a close contemporary of noah.

using only flint and copper tools , do you think this ancient man and his family could have built the biblical ark?

nonamegiven

I bet he could use MIcrosoft Excell better than me though.

61

the walk of shame

by nonamegiven in

it all starts after you hear "these things we pray through jesus christ, amen".

i gather my books and the kid's books and put them away.

by that time people are walking over to us and talking to my wife and playing with my kids.

nonamegiven

My wife says she stayed with me because she loves me. From what I see whe indeed does. She has been coming with me to counseling and support groups. She is doing more than just sticking with me as I work through this, she is helping me through it. Do I think she's punishing me??? I dunno. I suppose I wouldn't blame her if she did punish me (within reason).

Someone mentioned about being doomed to failure because of my issue. Well, that's like saying an alcoholic cannot go to a ball game because they sell beer. Some shouldn't, others would be fine bellying up to th ebar and ordering a coke (a cola). I do have a problem, but I'm seeking professional help and with that, along with God, my wife and my inner strength I'll get through this.

61

the walk of shame

by nonamegiven in

it all starts after you hear "these things we pray through jesus christ, amen".

i gather my books and the kid's books and put them away.

by that time people are walking over to us and talking to my wife and playing with my kids.

nonamegiven

Well, she didn't divorce me for what I did so I have to let her slide a bit. Plus, I did the same thing for years before I was on this side of the fence.

61

the walk of shame

by nonamegiven in

it all starts after you hear "these things we pray through jesus christ, amen".

i gather my books and the kid's books and put them away.

by that time people are walking over to us and talking to my wife and playing with my kids.

nonamegiven

Wow, so much to reply to and so little mental ability

First, Buriram, no offense taken. You can read my first post and it's basically outlined there.

Now, to the others comments. Thank you very much for support and listening to me vent. My plan at this time is to be reinstated and then to drift away. My wife is VERY devout. She believes that while this type of disciplin is harsh, it is indeed living. I've asked her to 'splain that one to me and she says that I have to figure that out for myself. I told her that after I tackle the question of how hemmeroids are plesant I'll get right on it. Anyway, she feels DF'ing is just and that there is biblical evidence to support the arrangment. I'm looking into that now.

She knows I might just drift away but if I try to take my kids with me there will be a battle and I think the kids would pay the ultimate price. I will teach them right from wrong and support the WT teachings for moral issues (no sex before marriage, drug abuse is bad et all) but at some point as they get older have a real talk with them. I will never tell them "being a JW is bad, don't do it" but I will share with them what I find from the bible so they can make thier own decision. After all, if they have the JW teachings as well as my ideals they will have a more rounded viewpoint than 99.9% of thier peers.

I've thought about getting to the meeting just after the opening song and leaving as soon as the Amen comes. But i have to consider my wife. These people are her life and her friends I don't feel I should deny her of that. I also don't want my kids to pay the price for my situation. I do love to watch them play. And in the end, it was my screw up that hot me (us) where I am so I'll just take my lumps, however big they are, and roll with it. It is only temporary.

I have thought about others who have been DF'd. many come to the meeting to hear the announcment that they are reinstated but never show up after that (that'll be me?) and others come back stronger than ever. Well, I think it's like someone on another board said, DF'ing is meant to beat you into submission. Those of us who are not mentally weak cannot be beaten into submission and take off and some succomb to the humiliation and end up good little witnesses.

61

the walk of shame

by nonamegiven in

it all starts after you hear "these things we pray through jesus christ, amen".

i gather my books and the kid's books and put them away.

by that time people are walking over to us and talking to my wife and playing with my kids.

nonamegiven

It all starts after you hear "these things we pray through Jesus Christ, Amen".

I gather my books and the kid's books and put them away. By that time people are walking over to us and talking to my wife and playing with my kids. They will talk to her about the weather, the meeting, her pregnancy or anything. Do they ask about me? No. Do they talk to me? No. Not only will they not talk to me, they don't even acknowledge my existance with a nod, a smile or even eye contact. See, I'm dead to them. Who are these people? Well, they are ones who claimed to be my best friends, my spiritual brothers, people who loved me, well, only until 3 men judged me as a sinner worthy of death, now I suppose I'm not worthy of even a "hello" from them. Screw 'em. I stay at my seat for a while because with a 2 1/2 year old and a 4 1/2 year old my wife needs help keeping an eye on the kids. After a short while I just can't take it anymore. Thus the walk of shame begins. I navigate my way through the forest of people all the while noticing people....not noticing me (or at least pretending not to). I walk right past a friend of mine who doesn't even look at me even though over the summer we sat on my patio after putting up a fence and shared a six pack and played with my dog. Then there are the elders, the sheppards of the flock that see a sheep having trouble and offer no help, again not even a glance. Then the real hurt and anger hits. I see little kids, most of whom play with my son and daughter. They won't even say hi to me. These are otherwise innocent little kids who know they can't talk to "that man". I get my coat on and walk out the door, I go to the car to sit and stare at the night sky windering if I am indeed the kind of person that deserves this type of treatment.

Thanks for reading, I just needed to vent. It's been about 2 months or so since my DF announcement and it's just getting hard to do the walk of shame 3 times a week.

22

A Message To All The Lurkers

by Anitar in

in recent weeks, i have seen several posters that some call the jw "lurkers," meaning the witnesses who read the articles of this site, and are perhaps questioning what the watchtower has been teaching them, yet are still very defensive of the watchtower's actions.

as a result, i have seen and participated in several heated debates.

it seems the main criticism of us is that we focus too much on the "negative," that we dig up the past too much, and worst of all, that we have nothing to really complain about, other than the personal vendettas some of us have against the watchtower.

nonamegiven

Woah, I need a nap!

I'm a df'd JW and am here because I have always questioned many, many things and am not investigating these things. Funny, I never heard of any child abuse in the organization but knew there had to be some.

Sad, very sad.

47

On the fence (first post)

by nonamegiven in

well, i stumbled onto this site and decided, after reading a bit to post.. who am i?

i am "no longer one of jehovah's witnesses" as they say now, they no longer use the word "disfellowshipped" in the announcments now.

why am i df'd?

nonamegiven

I'll tell you what doctrines have me wondering.

1) The end of this system of things. How long have we/they been preaching this? How many times can I hear from the platform that it is "just around the corner?" Which freakingn corner are we talking about!! I'm only 34 but since I was raised in the truth I have heard it soo many times that it's wearing old.

2) 144,000. When I was young I was told the 144,000 were alive in 1914 and old enough to " notice the changes taking place" and the end of this system will end BEFORE they all die. Uh....too late.

3) Rules or guidlines changing. When I was in high-school I was admonished not to go to college because time was too short and my time could be better served inJah's service. Well, now I'm 34 and struggling to support a family on a high school education while I hear from the platform that higher education is ok. What the heck?!?! What changed???

Well, there's that and my whole judicial comittee.

I was DF'd for immorality. See, I have a sexual addiction that I've been living with for 25 years or so. It started off very small and minor but like all addictions grew over time to take control of my life. Anyway, I came clean to my wife about what had been happening and while it hurt her, she loves me enough to stay with me and help me work it out. I knew that when I told her about it I'd have to tell the elders (why? but that's another topic altogether). I knew that I'd be DF'd from the get-go. With few exceptions, if you have sex outside of marriage you will get DF'd (more on that later). Anyway, I knew I'd be DF'd and was fine with that. But I printed up a 1 page document detailing sexual addictions so the elders would understand what they/I were dealing with. I didn't expect it to get any simpathy and that's not why I did it. I gave it to them so they would understand that I have a chemical imbalance in my brain and that's the underlying reason. Note: I do not now, nor have I ever used this as a crutch. I did what I did and take full responsibility. Anyway, do you think the elders even read it? No. They were there to punish me and that's what they did. Now, how am I supposed to turn to these men for help when they don't even understand my situation, my triggers, my illness? Jesus said a good and loving shepard would leave 99 sheep to search for the 1 lost sheep and bring him back in his bussom. In my case, the 1 sheep was looking to correct his (my) course and they kicked me out of the 100 sheep flock and are now throwing stones to keep me away. I thought they were supposed to reach out with a shepards staph, not with a warriors sword.

Now, I mentioned that if you have intercourse outside of marriage you get DF'd. Funny, that's not always the case. When I was growing up I learned that you are DF'd if you are not repentant or if what you did is common knowledge. Well, I know of a woman that had an ongoing relationship and got pregnant. Well, since it was ongoig you can argue that she wasn't repentant but since she was pregnant and just a teenager it was of course common knowledge. She was provately reproved. 'splain that one to me??

OK, done venting...........for now.