Hortensia

Joined

• started 250 topics
• posted 7,677 times   see topics posted on
• send a message

Posts by Hortensia

• 
  37

  I think my fade has hit a rut. Do I need to grow a pair?

  by konceptual99 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so here i am after about 18 months of wake up.

  the first 6 months were a rollercoster of feelings as my whole belief system unravelled.

  the last year has been more stable but things seem like they are just stalling now.. my wife is aware of many of my feelings although i have held back the fact that i am pretty close to denying all belief in any kind of god.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Hortensia

  Thinking about it is the first step to doing it. So, it seems to me you are already working up to declaring yourself and you will do it when the time seems right to you. You'll feel a lot better, although it may open that can of worms you mention. Still, even with the hassle, it feels good to be authentic and to tell the truth.

  As for the kids, tell them the truth too. You no longer believe. Let them know when they are old enough they can choose for themselves, too, and in the meantime not to worry about it. If the JWs frighten them with armageddon, tell the kids the truth about that too. You don't really believe you are in any danger, nor are they.
• 
  46

  I need help in dealing with a toxic family member!!!!

  by hoser in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have a close family member who is a pro in using shame to try to make me feel bad.

  they are coming to stay at my place soon and the issue of me and mrs hoser not attending/ doing field service will come up no doubt.. i need some advice on how to deal with this because whenever i deal with these relatives they make me feel worthless.

  it is probably part because they are jw's and jw's motivate by fear and guilt.. .

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Hortensia

  Broken record and fogging are both amazing tools. I remember a conversation I had with my mother once, the first time I tried it. She kept asking why I wasn't going to the KH any more. I kept saying, "I don't want to discuss it." When she added the JW threats -- you'll die at Armageddon -- I said, "you're probably right, but I don't want to discuss it."

  After a while she ran out of ideas, and she never tried again. It helps, too, if you can step back and watch the conversation as if it's a movie, and get some amusement out of their reactions.

  Also, it's OK -- especially since it's your house -- to name their behavior. "I can't believe you are trying to make me feel guilty." Or, "guilt doesn't work." Or, "I can't believe you said that." Or, if you've had enough of their behavior and are tired of being nice, "you're a bit manipulative, aren't you?" Or, "don't you think that if we open our house to you and treat you like a guest, that you ought to at least pretend you like us?"

  The secret is to lob the guilt or insults back at them, and then refuse to discuss it any more.
• 
  26

  I want to grow my hair back out!

  by onlyastory in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  a few months prior to baptism i had shoulder length hair which i loved and had wanted ever since i was a child.

  i remember sitting with an elder during a bible study and asking him point blank if i 'had' to cut my hair.

  whilst the answer was given slightly awkwardly the answer was a no, "there are no rules that say you have to cut your hair".

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Hortensia

  Well, it's your hair. Do as you damn well please.
• 
  9

  now I know why god has been AWOL

  by Hortensia in

  1. social
  2. current

  letting all those kids in africa and asia starve to death or die from disease.. according to an ad i just saw on television, he's been busy running christianmingle -- so all those pretty white christians can find the mates god wants them to have.. .

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Hortensia

  Shana -- I agree!

  FHN -- Yes, god just likes pretty blondes as far as I can tell from their ads
• 
  93

  To SO CAL: What CO's and DO's do we all know?

  by IreallydidwalkoutofaKH in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  okay, in order it goes like this for me............brother peace 1980-83, brother rose 1984-86, brother yasko 1986-88, brother sekella 1988-91, brother billy ford 1992-95, brother davis 1996-99, brother irskin 2000-03 and then it gets kinda blurry....brother burge and another, brother hairston.

  okay, that just about does it.

  i have this topic becauce i tried reading the favorite co and do thread, but did not recognize any names......

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Hortensia

  I remember Goff, too. Some of the other names sound familiar, but it was so many years ago it's hard to remember them at all.
• 
  9

  now I know why god has been AWOL

  by Hortensia in

  1. social
  2. current

  letting all those kids in africa and asia starve to death or die from disease.. according to an ad i just saw on television, he's been busy running christianmingle -- so all those pretty white christians can find the mates god wants them to have.. .

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Hortensia

  letting all those kids in Africa and Asia starve to death or die from disease.

  According to an ad I just saw on television, he's been busy running ChristianMingle -- so all those pretty white christians can find the mates god wants them to have.
• 
  2

  Why I don't do yoga

  by Steve_C in

  1. social
  2. humour

  this isn't funny, but i didn't know where else to share this.

  it comes from a facebook page called "fundies say the darndest things.

  can't you just imagine a jw writing this?.

  1. 
  2. 
• 

  Hortensia

  oh yeah, I remember that line of reasoning.

  They can't separate things in their minds -- what kind of exercise you do and what you believe about it.
• 
  20

  hello from a galaxies far away

  by galaxie in

  1. jw
  2. friends
  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Hortensia

  Hi!
• 
  40

  ARE YOU AN ANGRY and BITTER APOSTATE?

  by Hummingbird001 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have noticed that there are different reactions to learning the "truth about the truth".

  some become quite bitter and angry and become very activist.

  others seem to just move on quite easily.. .

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Hortensia

  I could work up a little anger I suppose, over rotten stuff that happened while I was in that religion. But, dammit, it was so long ago and I was so glad to escape, I don't want to waste any time being angry over it. I turned my back on it a long time ago and I like being a cheerful atheist.
• 
  65

  How Cold is it Where You Are?

  by PYRAMIDSCHEME in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  with the polar vortex swirling further and further south and breaking records how cold is it where you are?.

  .

  here in gettysburg pa last night night we hit a low of -4 degrees but we were blessed with some wind that dropped the wind chill down to -22..

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Hortensia

  well, I'm in northern California, a couple hundred miles north of Flipper. Very strange winter, no snow in town, hardly any snow on the mountains and bleak prospect of water rationing in much of California if we don't get some rain/snow this winter. Actually we need a LOT of rain or snow, maybe you all could send some of that snow our way.