Cool ... take care ! And best wishes ...
Posts by RAF
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192UPDATE ON DANSK
by Physio init's been a long time since i posted here but i often read your messages when ian (dansk) logs on.
as most of you will know, ian will be going back into hospital on monday for an allogeneic stem cell transplant and will be away from the forum for a good few weeks (hopefully he'll be back home within 4-6 weeks).
last time he was in hospital many of you sent messages to his ward and i know they cheered him up immensely.
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RAF
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32
When Do You Read or Post Here Most Often???
by minimus induring the mornings, afternoons, evenings??
on certain days more than others??.
i usually post thru the day, while at work.
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RAF
Never
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Subliminal imagery in the WT publications
by icyestrm ini noticed some websites that showed subliminal imagery in the wt publications.
some common ones are occult symbols, skulls, goat heads, etc...
how many of you guys came across it?
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RAF
Justhuman : There are obvious ones, and no one can doubt about them. It is not just an imagination.
Whatever people think that it is few folks joking around in the WTBS designer dept or really intentional from the GB ... There are obvious ones, and no one can doubt about them
That's also what got my sister really questionning about the WTBS material ... -
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No Idols...hypocrites
by KW13 inthe 'no idols' rule would work very well if the witnesses had followed it themselves...the watchtower symbol (the tower one ya know...) was made into an idol itself, seperate from god and everything else, infact in our congregation at saddleworth for sometime we had a gold one above the platform.. .
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RAF
greendawn : More significantly it was the FDS that became the idol of the JWs and a very useless one at that. just to emphasis twice (ditto sspo's comment)
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RAF
that we can't be really fair lets say really objective ... weither we know or not those people for real (ourselves included).
And by that I meant : we can only be inspired by what move us (personnaly) means what's important to us ...
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RAF
Touched ... inspired ... surprised ... and well it even happened that I've been disgusted (rarely) ... but all together I like the free ride that everybody can have here to some extand ... and get touched, inspired, surprised or disgusted ... This virtual word is still real and that's why we can learn from it (from the good and the bad) ... Also I still wonder why some people feel the need to downsizing anyone and can't really take it to be ... There is a time for everything for each of us
This topic is about give us a name ... most of you have been cautious in not giving any ... and I'll follow this line now because I guess that somehow we know, that we can't be really fair lets say really objective ... weither we know or not those people for real (ourselves included).
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My Story "this is long, I'm sorry"
by ex-nj-jw ini'm not sure i ever really posted my story.
i think i've given bit's and pieces on others threads but not the whole thing on my own thread.
the issue that another member is having with childcare and yet another poster asking me why i'm still here after being out for 24 years has prompted me to type this up.. so here goes:.
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RAF
well ... thanks for sharing (((ex-nj-jw)))
best wishes for the futur !!! -
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5000 PAGES OF DOCUMENTS OF JW PEDOPHILE CASES AVAILABLE! B ANDERSON BOOK
by Seeker4 inbarbara anderson has just released a new book on cd that contains some 5000 pages of public court records from the nine lawsuits involving 16 victims that the wts settled secretly in may of this year, plus documents from two other cases the society settled in 2000 and 2006.. .
its called secrets of pedophilia in an american religion: jehovahs witnesses in crisis.. .
the book, and more info from barbara about it, is available here:.
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RAF
Cool - the good part of it is that it's about official stuff
Have you ever tried to tell a die hard JW to care about kids sexual abuse in JWland? ... It' all lies to them and of course the GB have nothing to do with it - so if you come out only with newspaper stuff (OY not true of course) ... Now that we'll make a change
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I'm in love and ... scared !!!
by RAF insorry need to share and to talk about it and maybe in giving me your opinion, talking about your experience, i'll find other ways to deal with it.. .
i just turned 40 (does this have something to do with it) never been scared about the matter ... but now i wonder what kind of love i've really experienced before (any kind of appeals like complicity for instance, the need to share something in particular with someone, the need to give someone some love?
) i dunno for real .... i'm trying to get this out of my head but i can't, i can't, i can't - i'm trying to get interested in other guys but it's just not the same ... and i even wonder how i came to the conclusion that i do love him !!!.
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RAF
LCL: Why did you feel that way? Do you remember your reasons? Are they still valid reasons or do they no longer apply?
I've always had a need to stay away most of the time from people (even those I love) they are taking too much of my energy or I give them too much of my energy.
The fact that people think that I'm strong actually doesn't help me at all ... and that's even have been true regarding my mother ... when she left us (because she was in love, she only took my little sister with her which was 8 at that time) after a year of missing (being away) one of my sister who was 2 years older than me (15 then) asked her to take her with her, my mother said ok, it's my sister which changed her mind to stay with my other sister who was (16) ... a bit later I've asked my mother the same thing she said NO so I've asked her why was it ok for E and not for me, she just answered : Because you are stronger (WTF - I was 13) that's the very moment I've decide to have a kid because without something I could hold one with this life (in loving and being loved) I would just have killed myself.
The only compliment I ever had from my father was this (and I still wonder how he would know about that since I don't know him for real) he said : The one I will never need to care about is Corinne, because she's stronger (WTF)
Where do those poeple who are supposed to know me get this impression about?
I mean I'm talking about my mother and my father here ... They didn't gave me the choice : what was my solution really ? It was be stronger or kill yourself.I'm loosing my balance when I'm stuck with people, I feel the need to really pay attention to them and I'm not really able to (full time, always or often) - I can only give the best of myself (actually what they are expecting since they can't understand that I can be weak) when I'm ready to(available psychologically), when I feel quiet.
I even get this kind of answers from my bosses (3 times in my life, by 3 different people) knowing that they were unfair with me to protect, themself or somebody else (love affaire / political matter / wickness) without any valid argument since I didn't want them to get away with it and got into verbal fights what I had to hear AGAIN (after trying lots of stupid excuses) was : ok you are right but Corinne you are Stronger (WTF), I still even wonder how they dared telling me that ... and what's even worst is that they also dared (all of them) to tell me that they like me very much but that's the way it is ... deal with it - to resume (I mean it's like saying I'm an a$$hole with you, but you can take it so ... why should I care - That's how they like me ...)
How can I get from 3 differents people, 3 different situations and reasons the same reaction. It's confusing ... it's like I'm doomed to be the one people i'm involved with (weither automatically in my job for instance or affectivly in real life) don't have to care about, just because they think I'm stronger.
Almost 2 weeks ago I got into a fight with my sister but at the end same answer : can't you just take it, you are stronger (WTF). And those are only a few easy to understand examples : What is this "you are stronger" excuse all about? ... isn't that a way to not take responsability in whatever they have to or whatever they do to me? Since that's what I said to my sister she said, "we can't see when you are sensitive" you should show it? HOW? IN FAKING anything special, What exactly? Can't they just take care?
Still I can understand, I can forgive but I can't take it anymore ... (I never took it in fact always finally reacted). Sometimes in a very cold way ... but they really got me to become either cold blooded or in flam ... I'm tired to take over ... I could, I did ... but I'm tired.
And now this feeling (and you have to realiased that I've started crying while I'm writting this) the feeling that HE can feel how sensitive I am for real ... I don't want to lose it ... And I'm also scared that it could only be an illusion. Again I don't know him for real it's just a strong feeling.
So it's like I want to keep it like a dream ... something untouchable ... I don't even need more ... (it's like it happened - and I can keep this feeling and remind it to me whenever I want to just in thinking about him, nothing have make it durty yet). I'm really not ready to stand to be disspointed about that. And that's putting too much weight on him, actually his shoulder (this is not what I want).
What I really want and need is not a man in my life, but this feeling (got it and want to keep it as is) wanting to give or get more would get me very dependant and I'm not sure it would be good either for me or for him.
LCL : You wanted to remain single. Why? Did you think it would give you a better quality of life? If so, has that proven to be false? Or do you think your life as a whole would improve if you persued this relationship?I don't even really think about those details this way, I don't want to calculate wathever on the matter ... my life since the bigining is about get ready to be hurt and it always happen when I let myself go for real when I think "ho things looks cool" ... and BOOM !
LCL Do you feel dependant now? Regarding to the feeling (yes), regarding to the man (not yet - and that's the scary part)
LCL : Why did you not want to feel dependant? Do those reasons no longer apply?They still apply as long as I won't be able to put all my pieces together, I'm not ready to deal with dependancy. (and somehow that's dependancy on myself but I can deal with it since I'm the only one I can rely on by now).
LCL : Seriously think about it. It's all about your quality of life. If this man will lower your quality of life, then stop now.
Seriously I don't know anyway, I'm more into quality of feeling (I or he can die tomorrow) it'll never be about quality of life to me.
LCL : If you can't stop now, why not? Do you think you are drawn to this man for biological reasons, psychological reasons, rational reasons, or spiritual reasons?
I don't know ... again it's all about the feeling itself.
Thank you Lore !
Outnfree
Actually all what you've said talks to me and I agree with all of it ... the way I see it today is : don't rush, don't expect anything more ... That's why I feel confortable with the idea that he can stay a friend more than he can become my man. Still I'm not closed to this idea (since I can dream about it), I'm just not ready (for a healthy relationship and not taking this into consideration wouldn't really help him or me).
Mes très sincères amitiés !!! (Ta fille est superbe !!! et elle me dit que vous vous ressemblez) au plaisir de te recevoir.
Sparky
You know what? I'm not even against the idea of being owned (really - because it doesn't really mean anything - since I can escape anyway) it's more about wanting to take care to not f*ck up something very, very, very, precious to me (and here for instance the feeling itself means more than any kind of relationship with him) so he can stay a friend, I just know that when he will have a wife (I might lose any occasion to get the feeling in live - but at least it will stay a good feeling to remind me about).
And that's the thing, I'm free, I want him to stay free (to give or not - I just need to feel it's true and unselfish when he gives).
Thank you Sparky !!!
I know I migh sound all weird ... I never fell normal anyway don't even think I should be (what is normality in fact?) -
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I need help, friendly suggestions, or a shoulder to cry on...
by FreedomFrog inok, here's the situation.. i have no friends that live close to me and i'm up to my eyeballs in bills.
i have applied to a few jobs that could potentially help me turn things around.
the things is, because i don't have parents/friends or any other people in my life.... 1. how do i get a babysitter when i have to go on the interviews?.
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RAF
(((FF))) hope you'll find what you need QUICK
best wishes !!!