SacrificialLoon

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Posts by SacrificialLoon

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  14

  Having an anticlimactic Christmas? Post your funnies! Make an x-dub smile

  by MsMcDucket in

  1. social
  2. humour

  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z6ukn6hhsre&feature=related.

  anticlimaxpronunciation: \-'kli-?maks\function: noundate: 1710 1: the usually sudden transition in discourse from a significant idea to a trivial or ludicrous idea; also: an instance of this transition 2: an event, period, or outcome that is strikingly less important or dramatic than expected

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  SacrificialLoon

  "The Night Before Christmas"
  (Legally Speaking)
  
  Whereas, on or about the night prior to Christmas, there did occur at a certain piece of real property (hereinafter "House") a general lack of stirring by all creatures therein, including, but not limited to a mouse.
  
  A variety of foot apparel, e.g. stockings, socks, etc., had been affixed by and around the chimney in said House in the hope and/or belief that St. Nick, a/k/a St. Nicholas, a/k/a Kris Kringle, a/k/a Father Christmas, a/k/a Santa Claus (hereinafter "Claus") would arrive sometime thereafter.
  
  The minor residents, i.e. the children, of the aforementioned House were located in their individual beds and were engaged in nocturnal hallucinations, i.e. dreams, wherein visions of confectionery treats, including, but not limited to, candies, nuts and/ or sugar plums, did dance, cavort and otherwise appear in said dreams.
  
  Whereupon the party of the first part (sometimes hereinafter referred to as "I"), being the joint owner in fee simple of the House with the party of the second part (hereinafter "Mamma"), and said Mamma has retired for a sustained period of sleep. (At such time, the parties were clad in various forms of headgear, e.g. kerchief and cap.)
  
  Suddenly, and without prior notice or warning, there did occur upon the unimproved real property adjacent and appurtenant to said House, i.e. the lawn, a certain distraction of unknown nature, cause and/or circumstance. The party of the first part did immediately rush to a window in the House to investigate the cause of such disturbance.
  
  At that time, the party of the first part did observe, with some degree of wonder and/or disbelief, a miniature sleigh (hereinafter "Vehicle") being pulled and/or drawn very rapidly through the air by approximately eight (8) tiny reindeer. The driver of the Vehicle appeared to be and in fact was the previously referenced Claus.
  
  Said Claus was providing specific direction, instruction and guidance to the approximately eight (8) reindeer and specifically identified the animal co-conspirators by name: Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen (hereinafter "Deer"). (Upon information and belief, it is further asserted that an additional co-conspirator named "Rudolph" may have been involved.)
  
  The party of the first part witnessed Claus, the Vehicle and the Deer intentionally and willfully trespass upon the roofs of several residences located adjacent to and in the vicinity of the House, and noted that the Vehicle was heavily laden with packages, toys and other items of unknown origin or nature. Suddenly, without prior invitation or permission, either express or implied, the Vehicle arrived at the House, and Claus entered said House via the chimney.
  
  Said Claus was clad in a red fur suit, which was partially covered with residue from the chimney, and he carried a large sack containing a portion of the aforementioned packages, toys and other unknown items. He was smoking what appeared to be tobacco in a small pipe in blatant violation of local ordinances and health regulations.
  
  Claus did not speak, but immediately began filling the assorted footwear of the minor children, which hung adjacent to the chimney, with toys and other small gifts. (Such items did not, however, constitute "gifts" to said minors pursuant to the applicable provisions of the U.S. Tax Code.)
  
  Upon completion of such task, Claus touched the side of his nose and flew, rose and/or ascended up the chimney of the House to the roof where the Vehicle and Deer waited and/or served as "lookouts." Claus immediately departed for an unknown destination.
  
  However, prior to the departure of the Vehicle, Deer and Claus from the House, the party of the first part did hear Claus state and/or exclaim: "Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!" Or words to that effect.
• 
  23

  "Have You Been DF'd? Get Reinstated FAST!" - a new book!

  by AlmostAtheist in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  has anyone else seen this book?

  i'm half-tempted to order it.

  the author claims to be a presiding overseer, and claims to have lost his son to suicide after the son was df'd.

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  SacrificialLoon

  If I order now do I get a free set of steak knives?
• 
  4

  "They create a desolation and call it peace"

  by changeling in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  the historian tacitus penned these words in his "agricola".

  he is said to be quoting the king of the britons upon being conquered by the romans.

  the romans established the "pax romana", but at what cost?

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  SacrificialLoon

  The Pax Romana was the longest period of peace in Europe up till and including now.
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  26

  Show me your Armageddon year Calculation

  by JH in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  here is mine:.

  1975 + 33 years = 2008. the end was supposed to be in 1975 + jesus lived 33 years = 2008. this makes no sense hey.... .

  *burp* .

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  SacrificialLoon

  Thanks, but for them to be good and proper paragraphs there should be a scripture or two referenced. I'll have to remedy that.
  
  Edit: There, fixed. :)
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  41

  Worst U.S. President and Why?

  by Black Man in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so who in your opinion is the worst-ever u.s. president and why do you say so?

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  SacrificialLoon

  Chester Arthur without a doubt. He was the muttonchop king.
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  26

  Show me your Armageddon year Calculation

  by JH in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  here is mine:.

  1975 + 33 years = 2008. the end was supposed to be in 1975 + jesus lived 33 years = 2008. this makes no sense hey.... .

  *burp* .

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  SacrificialLoon

  Mr. Jayhawk, my reasoning for coming up with half the silver pieces is simple.
  
  1. You see, the half-life of the radioisotope Sodium-24 is 15 hours, and Sodium is a major component of salt. Salt is what Lot's wife turned into when she turned to look back at Sodom which sounds a lot like sodium. The astute biblical researcher would certainly come to the conclusion that sodium-24 is indeed divine in nature given this supremely logical chain of reasoning. But how you may ask do you get half of the 30 silver pieces? A wise question! As previously mentioned the half-life of sodium is 15 hours 15 is half of 30, also Jesus walks on the sea which has lots of sodium dissolved in it, and silver and sodium both start with the letter S! Surely an intelligent observer would see the link between the 30 pieces of silver and sodium-24.
  
  2. How does one get 15 years though? As true Christians can clearly see 15 is half of 30, but silver is a much more stable element than sodium-24 so would it not be logical that 15 hours to sodium would be like 15 years to silver? Yes! Since Judas's betrayal was a negative event the number 15 is subtracted rather than added. Surely we are blessed to have this information revealed to us at this important time!(Num 22:29)
  
  1-2 (a) What is the half-life of sodium-24? (b) Why is 15 subtracted rather than added?
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  26

  Show me your Armageddon year Calculation

  by JH in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  here is mine:.

  1975 + 33 years = 2008. the end was supposed to be in 1975 + jesus lived 33 years = 2008. this makes no sense hey.... .

  *burp* .

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  SacrificialLoon

  Anyone who disagrees with my prophecy is a heathen, and deserves to be thrown into the fiery lake of Gehenna!
  
  I think Erynw's equation comes up with 2112, but it is not an approved method (there's sin in it!), so you'll just be thrown into the lesser known tepid pond of Larry. ;)
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  26

  Show me your Armageddon year Calculation

  by JH in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  here is mine:.

  1975 + 33 years = 2008. the end was supposed to be in 1975 + jesus lived 33 years = 2008. this makes no sense hey.... .

  *burp* .

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  SacrificialLoon

  And here is the prophecy maths to back up my claims.
  
  If you subtract 1914 from 1975 you get 61, then you multiply that by times, times, and half a times found in Revelation and Daniel you get 152.5, and you add that to 1975 you get 2127.5. Then you subtract 15 from that number which is precisely half the amount of silver that Judas betrayed the son of man for and you get 2112.5!
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  26

  Show me your Armageddon year Calculation

  by JH in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  here is mine:.

  1975 + 33 years = 2008. the end was supposed to be in 1975 + jesus lived 33 years = 2008. this makes no sense hey.... .

  *burp* .

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  SacrificialLoon

  Leolaia is 110 years off. It is actually 2112, because the great prophet Neil Peart (peace be upon him) says so.
• 
  8

  Britain set to release secret UFO files.....

  by BurnTheShips in

  1. jw
  2. friends
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  SacrificialLoon

  I bet it's just a bunch of references to dead Norwegian parrots vooming about.