jamiebowers

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Posts by jamiebowers

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  31

  Do JW's attract the mentally ill, or do their beliefs cause mental illness?

  by gaiagirl in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  have you observed a higher than normal number of mentall ill among jw's?

  if so, do you think the religon attracts the mentally ill, or do you think that their beliefs and practices actually cause mental illness?.

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  jamiebowers

  Bergman cites many studies done on the subject. Please see http://www.seanet.com/~raines/mental.html . But even if you're not a Bergman fan, there have been many studies done on stress. It has been proven that people can deal with lots of stress if they are able to manage their circumstances. But there is no room for self management within the org. The WTB&TS gives its expectations, and pressure is mounted on the rank and file to follow to the letter. If you do just the minimum of 10 hours a month in field service and preparation for and attendance of all meetings, what time is left for anything else for those who work a fulltime job or are raising children?

  Even for those few who don't have a time issue, what about the heart wrenching decisions that must be made in relation to blood transfusions, the required shunning of disfellowshipped loved ones, and the fact that abuse victims are shushed at best, and accused of wrongdoing at worst? Throw in the restrictions on independent thinking and recreation, and you've got the perfect cocktail for crazy. If you weren't nuts when you joined the cult, you'll wind up nuts after being in it for awhile.
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  14

  Patchy memories

  by Princess Daisy Boo in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i often think back to my childhood and discover that my memories are very patchy.

  names, faces, school teachers, things related to being a brought up as a dub.

  memories of some years are patchier than others - for example when i was about 10, we moved from the city that we had always lived to a small town, 2 hours drive away - we moved back to the city 3 years later - i remember very little of the first two years in that small town.. i seem to think that the years where the memories are patchy were times when i was quite unhappy.

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  jamiebowers

  I've experienced the same things, but they only relate to my time in the cult. My mom didn't start studying until I was 11 or 12. I have vivid memories of my whole childhood (even back to 2 or 3 years old), but for the life of me, I can't seem to remember things after I was baptized at 17. For instance, when someone on this board quotes a Watchtower study or mentions a kingdom melody from when I was in the cult, I don't remember it. I do remember the beatings and threats by my jw husband and when I was df'd.
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  33

  INPUT NEEDED ON JW BELIEFS

  by Mary in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  i'm at the beginning of putting a package together regarding the wts and i'd like your opinion on which topics i should include.

  basically, this would be a package for those who have family or friends in the borg, but who you think might listen to reason if it was presented in the right fashion.

  it's not going to be a huge package, because i don't want to overwhelm anyone, but i want the information to be precise enough that it would stop and make them think.. so far, i'm thinking that i'd like to touch on the following:.

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  jamiebowers

  How about the flip flops on whether rape victims should be disfellowshipped based on whether or not they screamed? How about that untl 1974, if a spouse had sex with a person of the same sex or even with an animal, it was not grounds for divorce?
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  71

  Criticism worthy of your time

  by johnnyc in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  as i read posts throughout this site, i became amazed at some of the criticism people have actually spent time creating, reading (as i did), and responding to.

  dont get me wrong, some of what i read are good issues that seem worthy (to me) of discussion, but to be honest, i find that 90% of the posts are based on ridiculous petty topics that are obviously tied to a sense of deep hatred of the wtbts.

  i can appreciate that some of the people who leave such post, and have this hatred, are taking their time to discuss such things as part of a therapeutic process to combat the fact they spent a large portion of their life dedicated to an organization they feel abandoned them at some point.

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  jamiebowers

  ...but to be honest, I find that 90% of the posts are based on ridiculous petty topics that are obviously tied to a sense of deep hatred of the WTBTS.

  And why not? Many of us have been estranged from our families due to the vicious rules of the WTB&TS. I was an abused child and a battered wife within the organization and was disfellowshipped for my trouble. Nothing is petty when your famly shuns you. Shame on you for the criticism. People here vent, because they have been victimized in some way by the WTB&TS. If you don't like it, stay the hell out!
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  63

  3 a.m. - my wife is in tears! What do I do?

  by The Scotsman in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  well my situation has developed a bit, any advice appreciated.. their has been a gradual building up of pressure ever since i stood down as an elder about 6 months ago.. i have been telling my wife about my doubts but have continued to attend "some" meetings.. as time has progressed i have become more open with my criticism of the org.. i mentioned the un scandal, molestation trials, false prophecy ect etc.. interestingly she does not deny these facts and yet still wants to continue as a jw.. i told her that god is not happy with people knowingly being part of a false prophet (deut 18 - etc) - starting to lay the groundwork for my exit.. she appreciates the difficult situation doubters are in - they cannot openly express their feelings for fear of jcs.. anyway, a few weeks ago we moved house which meant changing congregation.. but i felt it would be best if i did not attend meetings " at all" at the new cong so my fade could be easier.. but i could not have predicted my wifes response - when i told her it was an explosion of emotion, i mean real heartbreaker stuff.. she seems depressed at the prospect, perhaps the reality is finally hitting home.. last night, about 3a.m.

  i noticed that she was not in bed.

  i went downstairs and she was sobbing away to herself.. "i can't go to that hall myself!

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  jamiebowers

  After reading your post, my first thought was there must be something else wrong for your wife to be so afraid to attend a new congregation without you. Please nudge her gently into a conversation about her fears and lack of confidence, and try to get to the bottom of it. I'm really wondering if she wasn't abused in some way as a child (in ways other than the typical like being threatened with demon possession, Armageddon, etc.).

  Once you've ascertained whether or not there was physical and/or sexual abuse in her past, you'll know how to proceed. If she was indeed abused, both of you should be focusing on that. If she wasn't physically or sexually abused, lay it out to her how much support you can give her without attending the meetings. Maybe you could drop her off and pick her up. If SHE decides not to go, replace the meetings with a pleasurable activity. Being that she was raised in the cult, she will need lots of time and attention to be de-programmed. Good luck and God bless!
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  33

  Why Jehovah Witnesses teach a more biblical faith

  by tralon in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  surprizeingly, i am not a jw but an observer and in partial agreement with the jehovah witnesses on many issues.

  i have been to many churches in my 30 years and have studied many church beliefs, church history and the bible as well.

  so why do i believe the jehovah witnesses are the one true faith of jehovah god?.

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  jamiebowers

  1.They are united and disciplined from within. Protestant denominations are so divided and new ones pop up every week. There is no unity in beliefs in Protestantism. Also I like the discipline part of the Society. If you agree to be a JW then you should conform to the society's teachings and guidance or leave. There is no room for rebellion and that's the way it should be, if order and unity is to be practiced. I see on Youtube.com videos of apostate JWs who ridicule the Watchtower and the Jehovah Witnesses. These are the people who did not want to conform to the Society and so are rebellious and speak evil.

  Oh, yes, they are united and disciplined even to the point of turning against abused women and children who have the courage to expose their male Jehovah's Witness abusers. I don't think anyone signs on to be a jw believing that husbands and fathers are allowed to physically and sexually abuse them. The victims who cry out are the very ones on YouTube that you seem to despise and are disfellowshipped by the WTB&TS.

  If you don't believe the THOUSANDS of Watchtower survivors who post on this site and at silentlambs.org, stick your head back up your ass and leave the apostates alone.
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  67

  God dammit!!! I hate this cult!

  by bluesbreaker59 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so my girlfriend and i are getting very serious, and i've bought her engagement ring, should be done being built sometime in may.

  then at some point later, i'm going to ask her to marry me.

  she was with me and picked out her ring, so she knows its coming.

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  jamiebowers

  One last thought... jws should NEVER have access to your children or anyone else's.
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  28

  EXJW facebook group tries to find 10,000 exJWs

  by Sirona in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  this facebook group is trying to get 10,000 exjw members.... join up!.

  http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=22272829408.

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  jamiebowers

  I signed up with FaceBook and requested membership to this group. Some smart ass signed Charles T. Russell up as a member and used his photo too. I thought it was funny.
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  67

  God dammit!!! I hate this cult!

  by bluesbreaker59 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so my girlfriend and i are getting very serious, and i've bought her engagement ring, should be done being built sometime in may.

  then at some point later, i'm going to ask her to marry me.

  she was with me and picked out her ring, so she knows its coming.

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  jamiebowers

  As thrilling a thought it is to me to give national exposure of this dangerous cult through Miss Manners or the like, I'm afraid it wouldn't work. The name of the evil cult would probably be edited out and replaced with a generic title such as Christian fundamentalist. Please try not to feel too badly about your dad's regrets for attendance at your wedding. I heard that a woman in my old congregation was forbidden by the elders to attend her son's wedding, even though he was never even baptized, it's not going to be held in a church, and a judge, not a pastor will be officiciating. Their reasoning was avoiding worldly association.

  As for an explanation to people at your wedding, I would have an announcement made at the beginning of the reception that goes something like this: Thank you all for sharing in the joy of our wedding day. Unfortunately, some in my family chose not to attend due to their religious beliefs. It is sad, but it won't stop us from having a memorable day. Now, let's all CELEBRATE!

  Leave it at that, and let your dad and other jw relatives answer for their own ignorance. Good luck and God bless!
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  15

  My Mom quotes recent religion attrition rate survey AT me!!!!

  by inkling in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  so i am having a "conversation" with my mom about how .

  we are living during the end of the world and how close armageddon.

  is and whatnot, and in making her case she goes:.

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  jamiebowers

  I don't suppose she's ever heard these figures either:

  The proportion of mental illness among jws is higher than that of the prison population in the US.

  The divorce rate among jws is slightly higher than that of worldly people.

  The majority of contested custody cases involve jws.