Welcome to JWN from an American apostate!
jamiebowers
JoinedPosts by jamiebowers
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26
Hi, everybody!
by thomyorke ini am from russia, and i've ben a jw for a 19 years of my life, since my early childhood.last 5-6 years that i spend my time in the organization, it was only because my family, close friends, and a girlfriend.i've been a pioneer for a 6 years, but my favorite kind of ministry was construction of kingdom halls!
(because there was a lot of humour, creative young people, young and pretty sisters, etc.
;)i still have very good memories about that period...nearly before i finally quit, i was disfellowshipped for a 1 year and 4 months.in that time i 've reed a "crisis of concience" and "in search for christian freedom", and give those book to my mom,she already was inactive, and having a serious doubts.but i was too naive!i decided to comeback into organization- cause of my girlfriend and friends.and remain there as a "double agent" or a spy))i had to pass through all the way to be reinstated...when i 'came back', i had a bad surprise: the elders decided that i need to study some publications again,for my "reabilitation".
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33
Do People Hate You Too For Being Too Beautiful?
by minimus insamantha brick has this problem.
i understand her pain..
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jamiebowers
I knew a Witness,well,now,she is a former Witness,who said she didn't have many girlfriends,since she was so pretty ,everyone was jealous of her. When the truth of the matter was,no liked her because she was a b*tch.
EmptyInside, your post cracked me up. It's funny, because you said it! You really are coming out of your shell!
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Memorial is more important than dying relative!
by Orphan Annie inmy husband is gravely ill sedated and on a ventilator.
he most likely isn't going to survive.
we are not disfellowshipped.
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jamiebowers
I'm so sorry you're going through this!
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How Many Years have your JW Relatives Shunned You ?
by flipper ini felt with newer members coming on and other jw fence sitters lurking it might be a good thing to explain what many of us have had to go through in regards to being shunned, cut off, ostracized from our jw families in an unjust way .
whether we are dfed or inactive - many of us have shared this same fate and ill treatment.
for many of us- it makes us stronger, more firmly entrenched that the decision we made to exit the jehovah's witness organization was the correct decision as no organization that claims to be " christian " would ever commit such horrid atrocities or justify it !
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jamiebowers
Point taken, and that's the way I was thinking about a year ago. But the counselor that my minor son and I were working with advised me against it. He helped me to consider that--although it was my legal right--forcing the issue would only more than likely only further alienate my son that is nearly of age.
Filed under, "Choose your battles."
IMO your counselor was ignorant, lazy or both. Neither parent should be alienated from a child, because it's not in the best interest of the child. A good counselor would've supported you in court and helped your son to accept you as an ex-jw and his mother as a jw.
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JW Elder still in music business - despite telling congregation he wasn't
by uk_ex_jw ini've known this elder for years.
when i was in the borg he told me how he was in the music business before he became a jw.. he made a point of telling me how ruthless it was and how he had been ripped off for thousands of pounds.. he did many talks from the platform over how as a young man he was involved in a typical 'drugs, rock and roll' lifestyle and how becoming a jw changed his life.. there was a young guy in the congregation who was particulary interested in music.
this elder counselled him that it was ok to do it i.e.
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jamiebowers
I think you should tell this jerk's secret to the young guy he discouraged from pursuing a music career.
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55
How Many Years have your JW Relatives Shunned You ?
by flipper ini felt with newer members coming on and other jw fence sitters lurking it might be a good thing to explain what many of us have had to go through in regards to being shunned, cut off, ostracized from our jw families in an unjust way .
whether we are dfed or inactive - many of us have shared this same fate and ill treatment.
for many of us- it makes us stronger, more firmly entrenched that the decision we made to exit the jehovah's witness organization was the correct decision as no organization that claims to be " christian " would ever commit such horrid atrocities or justify it !
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jamiebowers
It's going on 24 years that my jw mom has shunned me. Aside from a few phone conversations about family health history, contact has been non-existent. Sometimes it bothers me that I don't have a mother, but I don't miss her personally. She allowed her husband to molest me and mentally torture my younger brother for years due to cult mind control. It's my opinion that she's a toxic person, and I never would've allowed her around my stepkids and now my grandkids. Unless she dumps the cult and her husband, I don't want to be near her. She even refuses to attend family reunions, although the elders told her she could since they're held at a public venue. But I think she's too ashamed to shun both of her kids in front of non-jw family, because they all know that she unleashed a pervert on her own children.
I was disfellowshipped three years ago. Since that time I've only had limited contact with my minor son, that in spite of having a court ordered visitation schedule which his mother signed.
00DAD, I thik your emedy is with the courts and not the elders. I hope you pursue it.
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on the fence - an introduction
by so confused ini was brought up around the truth.
my dad was disfellowshiped when i was young, around 6-7. he was a elder and very devoted even going to jail when he was younger for the truth.
he had a stroke and started preaching things that the society was not teaching and he was disfellowshiped.
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jamiebowers
Glad to see that you're back and that your husband has been here for a while. You're not lying to your family about meeting attendance. You're an adult and have every right to make your own decisions. If/when the time comes to defend your actions, all you need to say is that your decision is personal and needs no other explanation. It may take some time for you to get there, but eventually you'll revel in the freedom that comes from exiting the cult.
I've pm'd you my contact information, and you're welcme to use it if you want. There are several other longtime posters who have had more personal contact with newbies, and I'm certain their offers of personal attention wll come along the more you post. In the meantime, read as much as you can. If things really start to get to you, therapy may be necessary. You wouldn't be the first exiting jw to do so, and you certainly won't be the last.
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jamiebowers
That poor kid is going to be a prime candidate for any jw child molester because of her stupid, stupid mother.
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I Quit Preaching The "Door To Door and Tract Work" No Time For March 2012.
by Creep Side Congregation inwhy i have stopped preaching door to door, inactive now for march 2012!.
i can't participate in the door to door ministry anymore, how can i guarantee my bible studies won't experience the "dark side"?
are we providing a spiritually safe environment for new believers, free of sex offenders, thieves, gossiping bitter old women and "rock throwing hypocrites"?
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jamiebowers
Welcome....what an opening post!
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34
on the fence - an introduction
by so confused ini was brought up around the truth.
my dad was disfellowshiped when i was young, around 6-7. he was a elder and very devoted even going to jail when he was younger for the truth.
he had a stroke and started preaching things that the society was not teaching and he was disfellowshiped.
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jamiebowers
First of all, welcome to JWN! Now, take a deep breath and exhale...you've come to the right place. There are many people who have stood where you now stand that will be able to advise you on your next steps as well as share their own personal experiences.
Let me start by saying what a shame it is that your father was treated with such contempt. I'm quite certain that doctors knew all about dementia and mental deterioration from a stroke back in the 70's. But the WT and its minions would rather just get rid of a naysayer regardless of his circumstances. As a frequent JWN poster says, "Cults shoot their wounded!".
Although your mother is physically out of the cult, she is still mentally in. What a horrible situation for her.
As for the "loving" jws who threatened you with the life of your son, please be advised that threat has been used for over 100 years now. So far, no one has lost a baby to Armageddon.
And good for you for standing by your husband and listening to his reasoning! There are so many good and decent men here who have been abandonded or at least ignored by their wives who are under cult mind control.
The first book you should probably read is Crisis of Conscience by Ray Franz. He was a governing body memeber who resigned and then was later df'd for eating lunch with another brother who da'd. Please note that this punishment came before it was a WT rule to shun those who da'd themselves. Anyway, it will give you an honest look inside the organization. Probably the second most reccommended book is Combatting Cult Mind Control by Steven Hassan. He was never a jw but escaped the clutches of the Moonie cult. Now he teaches therapists about how to treat former cult members.
Until you can get your hands on those books and others, just go through this list of eight criteria for mind control listed below. Think about how the critieria fits into the life of a jw. Then everytime you have anxiety about Armageddon or any of the other threats used by the Watchtower cult, read that list again. It will help you to overcome your fears with logic.
http://www.csj.org/studyindex/studymindctr/study_mindctr_lifton.htm
Once you wrap your head around the WT being a cult, you'll be free to explore all kinds of religious beliefs. I hope your husband joins us here. In the meantime, I'm sending you my contact information via private message. Just click on the blue envelope in the upper right hand corner of the screen. Click on the message. You'll get an error message, so use the back arrow button, click on refresh and try again.
You and your family are about to embark on living a free life. Congrats!