jamiebowers

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Posts by jamiebowers

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  40

  Should I help my wife get the kids ready?

  by dazed but not confused in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

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  should i help my wife get the kids ready for meetings, service and assemblies?

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  jamiebowers

  First of all, I can understand your comment about having some time away from your kids. I think it's normal, and you don't want to be a helicopter parent, hovering over your kids all of the time. But that being said, your kids are being raised in a cult, so a little more than average hovering is probably a good idea. So why not split the difference between what Billy and Cagefighter said?

  How about neither kid goes to the week night meeting or field service, and both attend the Sunday talk? Help her get them ready for that, and you'll still have your alone time. Of course, all the while, you should be teaching them TTATT and critical thinking skills.

  If they were my kids, I'd take the hard line by giving their jw parent copies of the Candace Conti verdict along with other evidence of the Watch Tower's filthy record on child molestation and forbid them from being around jws without my supervision. But that might be because the elders and my jw mom protected my molester when I was a child.
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  70

  Knowing the Real Truth about the "truth" when you're stuck inside...

  by OneDayillBeFree in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  ...sucks.

  (warning: this could get lengthy but i have to vent and i could really use some advice).

  i know ttatt and have known about it for almost 2 years, yet i'm still stuck inside.

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  jamiebowers

  I don't know if you remember that we talked on the phone a while ago. If you ever feel the need to hear a friendly voice, especially if you're contemplating suicide, call me. That being said, my dear, two years is an instant of a lifetime. I know time goes slower when you're young, but just keep telling yourself that it's not forever.

  Unfortunately this economy is probably keeping you from finding a full time job that will allow you to buy a car and get a place of your own. Although your choices are limited, you still have a few options. Joining the military is one, but there are a few others that aren't as drastic. Check out AmeriCorps and JobCorps. The first pays a stipend that's equal to minimum wage plus cash or tuition awards after a year of service. You can also attend college while in this program. The second one, I believe provides job training and housing without needing a car.

  Leaving everyone and everything behind may be daunting, but aside from escaping the cult, you need to assert your independence. Be proactive now, so you won't be in a desperate situation as in being homeless later. No matter what, when you're feeling down, remember that it won't be like this forever.

  Also, I'm pretty sure you told me something on the phone that indicates you may possibly have someone to turn to, but I won't discuss it on a public forum so as not to give details as to your personal situation. Please check your private messages, and in the meantime, check out the links below.

  http://www.americorps.gov/

  http://www.jobcorps.gov/home.aspx
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  37

  I MAY VERY WELL MEET RINGO STARR!

  by Band on the Run in

  1. social
  2. entertainment

  newflash in the ongoing addiction and mania that started at age twelve when the national broadcast news showed pictures of these english boys with very, very long hair.

  i stopped by a local grocery store b/c i was not certain that a challis scarf was wool or rayon b/c the fabric content is in arabic.

  thank allah for arabic numerals.

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  jamiebowers

  NO sexual favors were traded.

  Maybe you'll have to provide them to Ringo Starr himself, LOL! Just kidding, BOTR. I so hope this dream of yours come true, because someone who has suffered like you deserves to experience an all out fantasy.
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  20

  Disowning letter from father to gay son

  by CaptainSchmideo in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  a friend or mine posted this on facebook (it has made the rounds on the net).. i didn't have the heart to tell her that this looks like a fairly typical letter from a jw to a disfellowshipped letter, often for things that would blow a normal person's mind (holidays, politics, marriage outside the cult, etc).. .

  .

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  jamiebowers

  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/08/07/father-letter-disowning-gay-son_n_1752053.html?utm_hp_ref=canada&ir=Canada.
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  59

  Thanks to everyone on this forum!

  by cedars in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  today is my first anniversary as a jwn member.

  it's hard to believe that only a year has passed since i joined, but i feel that's a testament to how much i have been welcomed and made to feel like part of the furniture.. i would very much like to take this opportunity to thank everyone on the forum for the immense help and assistance i have received, particularly in my first few weeks/months of posting.

  it truly was a lifeline at a very distressing time for me.

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  jamiebowers

  Happy Anniversary, and thanks for all of your hard work!!!!
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  41

  Letter from my mother

  by Las Malvinas son Argentinas in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i've been officially disowned.

  translated from the original:.

  "my daughter,.

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  jamiebowers

  I was attending meetings and hoping to reverse my disfellowshipping for reasons on convenience, but now I'm seriously reconsidering it.
  This is simply too high a price to regain something that is broken anyway. I'll never be looked at the same.

  Exactly!

  You don't have to answer this, because it's strictly no one's business, but I hope the baby you're carrying doesn't belong to your jw ex-husband! If it is, be prepared for a nasty fight. When are you going to live with your dad? Isn't he in a different country? I hope you get as far away from that whole jw scene as fast as you can!
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  41

  Letter from my mother

  by Las Malvinas son Argentinas in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i've been officially disowned.

  translated from the original:.

  "my daughter,.

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  jamiebowers

  I'm sorry you experienced such pain, but it is a good lesson learned. People under mind control are dangerous. Now you know that it isn't good for you to be around your mother, and it won't be good for your baby either.
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  25

  Young Ex-JW siblings release song to radio inspired by their experience leaving the cult.

  by Azazel in

  1. social
  2. entertainment

  this is a must see for all ex-jws and those thinking of leaving.

  watch for the subtle clues in the video.

  lets get this get this out there.. .

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  jamiebowers

  This could be the theme song for ex and exiting jws! What a couple of talented kids!
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  65

  need your advice again, please

  by outsmartthesystem in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so here's the latest in my pathetic saga.

  i've tried to fly under the radar for the past year, but it isn't working so well.

  i've learned not to engage my wife in debates but rather to ask questions.

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  jamiebowers

  Ynot:

  With all due respect Jamie....

  Unless he gets sole custody...(but even then it would be a battle because the kids are already JW-indoctrinated)

  He could lose them forever to even stricter JW thinking since their mother will feel even more compelled to 'protect' them from him/world via indoctrination.

  His lil 5 year old's comments show she is already quite able to 'make a stand for Jehovah' and that sort of dedication at that age (minus coaching as his wife denies) is a very strong indication that she would resist him and probably blame him.

  I was a little uberite-JWchild similar (but probably more hardcore) to what he describes of his 5 year old's comments.

  He can win his child's trust back far faster and easier than his wife and begin to gently teach her the critical thinking skills.

  Best to let the fire die to embers instead of intensifying them when it can be avoided.......if not he will only end up in divorce court and the kids will become pawns for the rest of their childhood (if not the rest his life).

  Again the WTS is betting heavy on his giving up, becoming indignant or self-destructing.

  Please see this thread: http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/friends/230187/2/and-a-new-wrinkle
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  41

  ....and a new wrinkle

  by outsmartthesystem in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so i was giving my daughter a hug at bed time last night.

  she stands up at the foot of her bed and wraps her arms around my neck.

  she then asks why i don't serve jehovah anymore.

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  jamiebowers

  Ynot:

  His 5 year old first need is for stability in their home.

  You might noticed I mentioned his wife and his daughter not trusting him.....

  While his wife will more than likely be wary for several months, his child will probably be ready to follow his gentle lead within a week or two (maybe less if she has been a 'daddy's girl').

  I believe I saw on the other thread he said he had ordered "Teach Your Children How to Think".

  It is far easier to begin teaching such if he remains married to their mother.....

  If he doesn't go back (or at least appear to be trying) he will remain suspect to some extent.

  I have seen JW children dismiss their unbelieving parents ......his daughter very well might be the type to go that route because she feels in her heart that is the right thing to do......

  His wife is already showing some classic reactions...... pushing these buttons will only lead to more division and disharmony....and all the 5 year old is going to discern is 'its daddy's fault because daddy doesn't love and obey Jehovah and he is trying to get me to do it too" ....daddy is already cast as an 'enemy of Jehovah' in her mind.....so falling back, recreating trust allows him to replace that negativity in her mind and allows him the opportunity to lead her to critical thinking and knowing her daddy loves her, he is trustworthy, stable, predictable and strong .....he keeps her safe....daddy isn't the 'bad guy'.

  It seems to me that going back is not an option for him. Again, the Watch Tower isn't God, nor does it have the strength of the law of the land. Both Anon ymous and Mamalove have custodial agreements that legally bind the jw parent not to attempt to alienate the ex-jw parent. Hopefully this will become a growing trend. But the OP will never know if he has this possibility until he consults an attorney.

  IMO, protecting the kids is the goal here. Pussyfooting around a cult isn't going to help them. Taking a stand by teaching the kids critical thinking skills and giving them an opportunity to experience the real world is the only way to help them out of the indocrination.