Posts by Esmeralda

4

Dad is out of ICU!!!

by Esmeralda in

jw
friends

just a quick update for those of you who have wondered how things are going with my dad.. he finally got his ventricular drain out and came out of icu yesterday....woooo hooooooo!!!!.

we are headed out to the hospital tonight to see him and i can't wait to see him sitting up!

after three weeks that will be a welcome sight.. my mil is also steadily improving.

Esmeralda

Thanks, Gopher and Mulan. I appreciate your remarks so much!

Mulan:It is a big relief to know that Dad's general prognosis is good...we just don't know how well he'll function mentally. He is so lucid at times sounds just like his old self...other times he thinks that he has to get up and go to work, tries to reach imaginary objects, etc.

I've been told that this usually gets better in time with aneurysm patients...but it has been awful, having to tie him down and restrain him to keep him from pulling his lines out...a lot like dealing with an alzheimers patient...so disoriented and child like. And I felt like a bully telling him that I couldn't untie his hands. He talked my sister into doing it once, and when he was confused and hallucinating, he took a swing at her. Thank goodness he missed, but it took three of them to get just one of his arms tied back down.

I just kept telling him that I loved him enough to let him be mad at me for the time being, that if I was the one in bed and he had to protect me the way that I was protecting him, I would probably be angry too, and that it was okay. He said he wasn't angry, but he looked so hurt.

I can only hope that when he is feeling more like himself, he will find it in his heart to forgive me for what he percieved as me standing idly by while he was tied up.

Oh, and...I forgot to tell you. You had said that you were glad it wasn't my 'special' Mom, (like yours) who was ill...but guess what? Managing her at the hospital was harder than taking care of Dad! She was up to her usual insanity...and we had to draw the line when she refused to stop approaching total strangers who were greiving in family waiting rooms and trying to tell them her life story. On top of that, at one point she actually began fiddling with my father's ventricular drain line...my sister was about to have the nurses remove her from the room when suddenly she let go and bolted. She could really have hurt him.

Finally she went home, and she hasn't been back to the hospital in 2 weeks, thank the Universe.

I'm going to try to write this whole thing out...I need to get it all out of my head where all the thoughts are running around and crashing into eachother.

My heart goes out to you with your struggles with terminally ill relatives and your daughter in law's scare. Terrifying!!! :(

I think of you often and have thought many times about your words of support as this has been going on. Thanks, from the bottom of my heart.

And you're right about having to deal sickness and death...of course my JW relatives are in shock because they keep thinking that the system should have ended before my parents were old enough for any of these things to start happening.

I'm glad that I was able to deal with the situation with my feet firmly grounded in reality, instead of in some fantasy world.

Thanks again!

*hugs*
Essie

p.s. Gopher! Love that quote *lol*

10

Your Caption Desperately Needed!

by Englishman in

jw
friends

.

your caption please!.

englishman.. ..... fanaticism masquerading beneath a cloak of reasoned logic.

Esmeralda

"Thank Jehovah that we're allowed to drink in 'moderation' How would we endure life in this old system without booze?!"

4

Dad is out of ICU!!!

by Esmeralda in

jw
friends

just a quick update for those of you who have wondered how things are going with my dad.. he finally got his ventricular drain out and came out of icu yesterday....woooo hooooooo!!!!.

we are headed out to the hospital tonight to see him and i can't wait to see him sitting up!

after three weeks that will be a welcome sight.. my mil is also steadily improving.

Esmeralda

Hi everyone!

Just a quick update for those of you who have wondered how things are going with my Dad.

He FINALLY got his ventricular drain out and came out of ICU yesterday....WOOOO HOOOOOOO!!!!

We are headed out to the hospital tonight to see him and I can't wait to see him sitting up! After three weeks that will be a welcome sight.

My MIL is also steadily improving. She is supposed to have surgery today to close her leg (it got canceled yesterday, emergency room needed the O.R.) and will probably be in the hospital another week or so.

So we have been very blessed. As many in Justin's family have said, they are glad that my father had the aneurysm and not the vascular bleed that my MIL had...or else I'd be visiting his grave instead of his hospital room. It was definitely the blood transfusion that saved her life.

I have been jotting down notes and will be adding a lot about all of this to the website when we get Dad home and things settle down. The contrast between the way the two families reacted to crisis was astounding. For people who don't practice any particular religion, Justin's family handled the situation so much better than all of the people in my family who are supposed to have 'strength from Jehovah' backing them up.

The things that went on...you guys will just not believe it when you hear it. Unreal.

Have a great weekend everyone! And be sure to tell your friends and family how much you love em frequently...you never know what can happen tomorrow! Don't waste a single day!

*hugs*
Essie

29

Heroin Overdose=Daughter=HELP!

by patio34 in

jw
friends

i'm having a crisis in my family and really need some advice and even (((())))!.

background:.

daughter is 28-yrs-old.

Esmeralda

Hi Pat,

I just saw this thread and had to respond. I wanted to add my
(((((((HUGS))))))))))) and tell you how glad I am that things are looking up.

Both of my sisters have attended Al-anon for about 2 years on and off. One of them is a recovering alchoholic and should really be in AA but she is uncomfortable at the meetings she says because they're predominantly male in membership (at least around here) and she's a very small female.

My oldest sister Claire has been helped immensely by Al-anon, I think that its the only reason that she has any moments of clarity at all in her JW clouded existence.

My father drank a lot when I was young, and many in my family have 'dry drunk' behaviours in addition to the fact that my second sister Jessica was a full blown alchoholic by the age of sixteen. She has been 'sober' from alchohol for 3 years but...I believe that she has been mixing over the counter and prescription drugs. She is finally seeing a doctor for anxiety now and I hope that will get her on the right road. Last time I saw her (at the hospital while watching over my Dad in ICU) she was not making any sense.

She was convinced that someone had tapped her phone, that her neighbors are spying on her, that the government was tracking her activity over the internet (totally paranoid). I haven't spoken to her since we left town to see my MIL in the hospital...and frankly right now I am trying to find the energy to deal with her on top of everything else and not quite finding it. Her husband is looking after her, I'm sure. I asked him to take her straight to her psychiatrist that day.

I hope that you find Al-anon helpful..I'm betting that you will. I've never been there myself (I don't like group activities, believe it or not for all my rambling online I actually am a very private person in daily life) but I know it has done wonders for my sisters.

Please keep us posted and know that I'm sending all the good thoughts I can your way. Your grandkids will thank you one day for all that you've done to keep them safe.

*hugs*
Essie

20

Sin, Mercy and the Watchtower Way

by Thirdson in

jw
friends

its strange now how i find such a huge contrast between the words of the gospel accounts of jesus and the interpretation of those words by the wts.

to me it seems there is little of the gospel jesus in the wts attitude to sinning and to sinners.. i recently reread lukes account of when jesus went to the home of the pharisee, simon.

during the meal a woman of the city, a sinner, bathed jesus feet with her tears and dried them with her hair.

Esmeralda

Hey there Thirdson :)

Happy to see your reply. I'm glad to hear that you and S and the lad are doing well.

Things here are returning to some state of pseudo-normalcy...well 'new' normal for us. My dad is still in ICU, he will hopefully have his ventricular drain out SOON (long story there, that I will be writing about soon...) and my MIL is still recovering in a NY hospital. She is having surgery today to close up her leg, it will require skin grafting...ouch!

Justin is back to work...tentatively. The small company he works for is still struggling along and called him back after eight weeks off. They have work now...the trouble is cash flow. Several of their accounts are holding out on them and the wait for the pay off is strangling them. But they got another month's work at least in the form of a small contract yesterday...so we're taking it one day at a time.

Social Security denied my claim for disability...that was expected, they deny 68% of people the first go around. I'm in contact with a Social Security rights agency and they will be my advocate for filing the appeal. It will probably take another year for it all to be settled.

My mother has been in rare form...you won't believe the displays she put on at the hospital...we finally had to have someone take her home and she hasn't been back since (she couldn't keep her hands off my father's medical equipment! She might have killed him!) and Seconddaughter 'Jessica' (also an exJW) had a total meltdown, I think she was off her medication and also had to be escorted out.

It's like a stinking soap opera, Thirdson, I'm tellin' you. But you know in spite of it all...I am so blessed. Justin and I have only become closer through all these trials...and no matter how hard the road to recovery, we still have our respective parents alive; and those are two total miracles. It took 23 pints of red cells, 7 of frozen plasma and one of platelets to save Justin's mom. If not for the blood...

I'm just glad she wasn't one of my JW relatives!

Well I've rambled on at you long enough, but it's so good to catch up to you. I'm hoping you'll see this before you go on your trip, have a wonderful vacation. Please give my warmest regards to Mrs. Thirdson! :)

Love,
Essie

p.s. Talk about WT mercy...my cousin Allison and her husband Nigel showed up at the hospital right after my father's brain surgery...and walked right past me. Allison gave me a strained half smile and 'hi' as she had to walk past me on the way out.

They made a point of introducing themselves to Justin after I'd gone back into my father's room. Amazing. My father is in that kind of condition, I've been up with him several nights in a row without sleep...and they showed no kindness or consideration for that whatsoever by offering any consolation at all. I can't imagine ever being that unkind to anyone. I know that Jesus certainly wouldn't have been.

20

Sin, Mercy and the Watchtower Way

by Thirdson in

jw
friends

its strange now how i find such a huge contrast between the words of the gospel accounts of jesus and the interpretation of those words by the wts.

to me it seems there is little of the gospel jesus in the wts attitude to sinning and to sinners.. i recently reread lukes account of when jesus went to the home of the pharisee, simon.

during the meal a woman of the city, a sinner, bathed jesus feet with her tears and dried them with her hair.

Esmeralda

Compared to the previous Watchtower quotation who would you think proves to be cold and
merciless and thus liable for execution.
By their own words they stand condemned.

Truer words were never spoken, Thirdson.

I hope all is well with you and yours, I think of you often.
Another fine post, thank you.

Love,
Essie
(who happens to Thirddaughter in her family)

2

Help to change the abuse laws in NY!

by Esmeralda in

jw
friends

i was asked to pass this information on to everyone that i can.

a victim of sexual abuse in the state of ny and your abuser was never brought to justice, please.

consider contacting jean.. i am pasting her letter to me here as originally written.

Esmeralda

Hello all,

I was asked to pass this information on to everyone that I can. If you, or anyone you know was
a victim of sexual abuse in the state of NY and your abuser was never brought to justice, please
consider contacting Jean.

I am pasting her letter to me here as originally written. Please pass this info on to anyone it
might help.

Thanks,
Es

Hi Lily my name is Jean Kraus and I am the volunteer coordinator for the
above mentioned non-profit org. I also am a volunteer for soc-um-Safeguarding
Our Children-United Mothers and I also volunteer for silentlambs. I am
currently working on a project with three other woman to change ny statute
laws, if there is a way you can help us we would be most greatful. We need
stories from victims/survivors from NY whose abuser was either never arrested
or convicted, they can be sent either to me or to the attorney listed at
www.changenylaw.com Please email me to let me know if you can be of
assistance...Jean Kraus

Her e mail address is: [email protected]

12

Justin's Mom saved by blood transfusion

by Esmeralda in

jw
friends

i just wanted you to have an update.

justin's mom is out.

of icu and doing remarkably well.

Esmeralda

Hi Everyone,

Thanks so much for all the encouragement. We just got in the door from the airport, so much
is spinning around in my mind but mostly I need sleep.

I found out that it took 23 pints of packed red cells, 7 packs of fresh frozen plasma and one pack of
platelets to save my MIL. They had a blood drive at the hospital this weekend and believe me, if
I was allowed to donate (folks with MS can't) I would have!!!

Lots to write about later on...will be trying to get everything up on the web about my family and how they
'handled' the blood issue with my Dad (lets just say that if he had really needed any, he wouldn't
be alive right now!)

Been a strange journey, I haven't stopped moving since the June 7th and after some sleep
I am definitely going to have a lot to sort through. Justin's Mom is out of ICU now and will be in the
hospital at least another week, but at least she is well on her way.

My Dad is still in ICU, they tried to clamp off his ventricular drain but it was too soon, it needed
to be unclamped again :( Progress is so slow, but at least he's making some...

Justin and I truly appreciate all your support, thank you.

*hugs* to all
Essie

12

Justin's Mom saved by blood transfusion

by Esmeralda in

jw
friends

i just wanted you to have an update.

justin's mom is out.

of icu and doing remarkably well.

Esmeralda

Hi Everyone!

I just wanted you to have an update. Justin's mom is out
of ICU and doing remarkably well. Her blood volume was replaced
four times completely: with packed red cells.

When she got her ventilter out, one of the first things she said
to me was "I'm so glad that I had this, and not your father, because
I know he would have died" meaning that she knew that my family would
have said no to blood. I have had the same thought many times since
this all started. In the coming months I will be writing extensively
about how my family 'handled' the doctors and the blood issue with
my Dad's aneurism (fortunately, he was saved without it) and contrasting it with my Mother in laws story: in which there is no doubt that without transfusions, I would now be visiting her grave, and not her hospital room.

Thanks to all for the kind thoughts. We go home sunday night, it'll
be a lot happier trip than the one coming out here.

Love ya all
Essie

p.s. My Dad is still in Neuro ICU but is hopefully going to come out soon, they may be able to take his ventricular drain out of his head, that is what they're waiting on before they can move him.

7

2 parents in ICU

by Esmeralda in

jw
friends

this is the only way i can get the word out that justin and i. each have a parent in university hospital intensive care units.

at the moment.

one in my home state, one in his.. my father had a brain aneurism 12 days ago and after brain surgery, and many long nights seems to be stable.

Esmeralda

Hi Everyone,

This is the only way I can get the word out that Justin and I
each have a parent in University Hospital Intensive care units
at the moment. One in my home state, one in his.

My father had a brain aneurism 12 days ago and after brain surgery, and many long nights seems to be stable. He has a long way to go in his recovery however and is still in the Neuro ICU. We may not know for some time if he will be left with a mental deficiency from the aneurism.

Then, last night at 11 pm we were at a hotel near the hospital where my Dad is, (I haven't been home since this all started) we got a call saying that Justin's Mom was in emergency surgery from a ruptured artery. They had to replace her blood volume four times, and she is now stable, but with a long way to go. She is on a vent, but understands what is going on around her and recognizes family.

We went straight from one hospital to the airport, to another hospital and now I am out East with no idea how the hell I got here or
when this insanity will end.

This is the reason I am not answering e mail. I don't know when I'll have access to a computer in the upcoming weeks, this is the first time I've had access in nearly 2 weeks.

My thoughts are with you all and just thinking of many of you has
helped me to cope with the total insanity of nearly losing two parents
in 10 days time, in different states, with a long way to go until either of them is out of the woods.

Love to all,
Es