I cannot pretend certain things did not happen in my past life. I cannot ignore the fact that I was a judgmental JW elder, despite the fact that I wanted to be understanding. I tried but by being an elder I was, by default, judgmental. I hurt people. I cannot change that. I can LEARN from it.
I cannot change the fact that I was once engaged to a JW from India. 20/20 hindsight is great, and I of course realize how bad an idea it was from Day One.
I learned from both parts of my life. I have rid myself of almost all traces of JWdom in my life. I have all but rid myself of all traces of my time (brief as it was) in India. I deleted all the emails and got rid of most (if not all) pictures of her. I still have the watch she gave me, I only have not rid myself of it because it is a $200 watch. It sits in a drawer. I keep meaning to take it to a pawn shop.
I learned that I can love someone and I can love kids. Both lessons have served me well with my fiancee and my soon to be step son. I also learned one does not need a religion to shape ones "spiritual" life.
My fiancee, never a JW, also made mistakes, but if she went back and undid any of it, she would not have her two great kids, and we would never have met and gotten together.
Lesson here is learn from our past but don't bury it so deep as to pretend it doesn't exist. Scully's reference to memory holes is right on target. I just did not know it had a name. (I always called it Personal Revisionist History... Memory Hole is easier.)
Snakes (Rich )