Posts by Alpaca

33

I got invited to the KH for the Traveling Circuit Overseer's talk

by lavendar in

jw
friends

first let me say, i've never been a jw and never will become one.

i'd rather stick needles in my eyes.

my son has invited me to his kh to hear the co's talk.

Alpaca

What are the main teachings/doctrines that seem to have a hold on your son?

Generally speaking, the pervasive circular logic that the BORG uses is probably the one of the best starting places.

The cult mentality that they alone are singled out for god's favor is another.

Another suggestion...the website for the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster applies creationist/fundie/millenialist arguments in a way that really exposes how ridiculous they are. You might get some good ideas there. It's at least good for a laugh.

6

The NRA response to no genitals in the New System???

by Alpaca in

from my cold dead hands??

?.

Alpaca

Priest, what can I say, man...

You're just ahead of the curve.

Leolaia,

Doesn't it say something about the fixation/perversion of the BORG leadership when they devote so much time to analyzing sex while claiming to be so spiritually removed from the rest of the world???

45

Spiritual food = Dub grub....whadayathink???

by Alpaca in

jw
friends

i coined this the other day on another thread and it seemed to get a laugh out of a few people.. and since were talking about it, what other great terms could we come up with in the spirit of "the borg," the filthful and disgraceful slavebugger (a fave of mine)......??

?.

Alpaca

I also like Farkel's "Babylon the Grape" and "The Genital Times". "Paradise Erf" is mine :D

The disappearance of genitals could be such a dramatic event that it would replace B.C. v. A.D. or B.C.E. v. C.E.

Time could forever thereafter be divided into A.G. (ante genetalia) v. P.G. (post genetalia)

6

The NRA response to no genitals in the New System???

by Alpaca in

from my cold dead hands??

?.

Alpaca

From my cold dead hands???

6

Sometimes you feel like a Ridge ...

by sacolton in

jw
friends

(sung to "sometimes you feel like a nut / mounds & almond joy").

sometimes you feel like a ridge.. sometimes you don't.. ruffles chips got ridges.. lays don't.. .

sometimes you feel like a ridge.. (yeah!

Alpaca

Kinda' reminds me of the old Jeffrey Dalmer joke.

The investigators asked him why some of his victims had no testicles left, some had only one, and others had both.

Well you know the answer....

Sometimes you feel like a nut and sometimes you don't.

32

WHAT STRANGE THINGS WERE YOU TOLD WHILE IN JWS?

by badboy in

jw
friends

any takers?.

Alpaca

How about this one--I mentioned this on another thread last year to the utter of disbelief of the posters who read it:

Back in the late 60s and early 70s when a VW beetle was one of the standard issue pioneer vehicles, I witnessed some of the GB arriving like rock stars at the District Convention in a verrrrrrrrrrrry stretched chauffer-driven Lincoln Continental limo.

When I asked the sister (she and her elder husband were in the twoof forever and were very well connected to the BORG heavies) who studied with Mom, why the GB didn't show the kind of humility that Jesus did...why didn't they drive vehicles like a VW Beetle....like all of the self-sacrificing pioneers I knew???

Her answer: They are princes (as the anointed and future members of the 144,000) among us so they deserve to be treated like royalty and supplied with the very best in accomodations and transportation.

Wow!!! I swallowed that (although in my defense, I was only 14 years old).

How pretentious, pompous, and self-righteous can you get. Talk about the Pharisees.....

50

May 15th Watchtower - New Light?

by slimboyfat in

jw
friends

the new watchtower asks the question: "when was satan cast out of heaven?

- rev 12:1-9".

and the answer it gives is: "so, then, the bible does not reveal the exact time when satan and his demons were expelled from heaven.

Alpaca

It's pretty clear that over the years the BORG's stock in trade is pulling dates and interpretations out of their collective ass. Or, to be more theocratically precise their "composite" ass.

What is probably brewing is exactly what you've suggested--they are setting up their ducks so that they can distance themselves from unsustainable explanations and also deny/rewrite BORG history.

32

WHAT STRANGE THINGS WERE YOU TOLD WHILE IN JWS?

by badboy in

jw
friends

any takers?.

Alpaca

How about all of that type and antitype sh*t???

And, wjhat about the way they shoehorned every possible thing the BORG did into some prophecy? And, the more obtuse and ambiguous the prophecy the better!!!

Remember the Jonadab Class? WTF was that all about.

It actually feels good that I can't even remember the weird interpretations the BORG spun on everything.

I especially loved the justifications that the BORG offered for Jehovah overlooking the grossest and most perverted stuff committed by his servants. Like Lot knocking up his daughters, David having a nice young chick to keep him warm (sure???.... she was doing a lot more than warming him up) when he got old, Judah sexing up his daughter-in-law.

What about the reasoning that oral sex is wrong because it immitates the acts of homosexuals and lesbians?

The one that takes the cake is Beth Sarim and that it was provided for the imminent resurrection of the prophets and the patriarchs.

32