Posts by saywhat29

38

how do you deal with bullies?

by loosie in

my daughter is in 6th grade.. i know from personal experience when i was in jr high that kids can be really mean.

i used to come home crying everyday.

i was told that i was ugly and i would never get married.

saywhat29

Let me just say that I was hadly picked on- jesus what hoprrible school did you all go to....

Or maybe I just knew my place and the people who were bullies or gave me hell, I just forgot about it and compartmentalized it and thats the reason why I cry into my pillow at night I don't know.. you know the bullies or the kids that are straight up jackasses and you avoid them and they avoid you; to me, bullies tend to gravitate around each other and one of them becomes Head Bully and all the other become like Bully concubines who are still jackasses but know whose head-asshole, y'know?

But what to do about a bully? It's difficult you know and there isn't an easy answer. Fighting back is the best answer in most situations and I will always tell a person to defend themselves because once a person becomes the victim, they will be the victim tomorrow.. and the next day. getting your ass kicked sucks, but feeling like a weakling whose afraid of the asswhoping sucks way more. Been there done that, don't ever wanna feel like that again.

But we also have to give these kids a sense-of-self and help them to learn how to say "Fuck you and you and fuck you too.. you're cool, but you? Fuck you as well" because there are ALWAYS going to be bullies and if they cannot figgure it out now. They might not be able to figure it out on the workplace where people may not hit or throw rocks but are just as douchebaggy to find other ways of hurting you. Or they could end up being bullied by a spouse! So they have to find a way to deal with it on their own without moms and dad, but moms and dad need to be aware of the issues (more when they are young, imo) and help their kids to know how to defend themselves.

And also to recognize that your darling little angel who you love and who farts skittles and rainbows may be a bully because some people don't wanna believe that their children can do any wrong.

20

Are We Doomed To Repeat Patterns?

by saywhat29 in

jw
friends

gosh darnit, this is my attempt to pull off a minimus-esque thread that will eventually die, but just a question that has been dragging around in my head as of recently.

i've been on this psychoanalytic kick for some time (for such a time that i know 'psychoanalytic' is not the right term to use but it fooled enough of you when i said it, and that's all that matters)- especially about family dynamics, patterns, and relationships.

i've been analyzing myself recently and more importantly i've been thinking about myself and the history of my relationships with those i love.

saywhat29

Wow, sorry to bring up such harsh memories for you ladies. Didn't really mean to; as I thought this will be mostly a fluffy thread but yeah abuse is a thing that does definitely pass down from generatin to generation.

I mainly want to learn the pattern because I fear I doomed to end up like my mother 'cause I'm too much like her already in all the bad ways.

20

Are We Doomed To Repeat Patterns?

by saywhat29 in

jw
friends

gosh darnit, this is my attempt to pull off a minimus-esque thread that will eventually die, but just a question that has been dragging around in my head as of recently.

i've been on this psychoanalytic kick for some time (for such a time that i know 'psychoanalytic' is not the right term to use but it fooled enough of you when i said it, and that's all that matters)- especially about family dynamics, patterns, and relationships.

i've been analyzing myself recently and more importantly i've been thinking about myself and the history of my relationships with those i love.

saywhat29

Gosh darnit, this is my attempt to pull off a Minimus-esque thread that will eventually die, but just a question that has been dragging around in my head as of recently. I've been on this psychoanalytic kick for some time (for such a time that I know 'psychoanalytic' is not the right term to use but it fooled enough of you when I said it, and that's all that matters)- especially about family dynamics, patterns, and relationships.

I've been analyzing myself recently and more importantly I've been thinking about myself and the history of my relationships with those I love. Everybody here is a group of smart folks so I won't even bother to explain the story of Oedipus, Oedipal complex/Electra complex, or triangular relationships for that matter because its all so confusing, but the gist of them al is that everything that we have done or feel or go through is connected to the relationships we have with our parents and how we were raised.

Hey you, homewrecker? You keep finding yourself outside of other people's relationships... why are unavailable people so attractive to you. Cold you be possibly making up for the fact that nobody as a child really loved you and the relationship you are really trying to breach is that of your parents? I know I know, it seems like a stretch and too simplistic to base a person's total personality off of the relationships they had with their parents/siblings and so on, but to me I just can't help but not to, especially when the same thing keeps happening over and over again.

For instance, I find it too coincidental that my mom had the same number of kids that my grandmother had, with the same age difference she has with her own brother. I also find it coincidental that even though my sister and I do not share the same father, the two are similar except for minor details... and when you look at them those details pretty much boil down to her own father. *shrugs*

P.S. I on a Freudian-Lacanian kick right now so just humor me- Can you note any continuing patterns in your life or in your family that happen that couldn't have just "happened" without some deeper reason or meaning?

33

Hitchens with Maher - JWs highest turnover rate.

by Mincan in

jw
friends

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4o38bxnwc8.

apologies if this has been posted already..

saywhat29

Whew! So I'm not crazy. I'm gonna go home and tell my family that there is a 63% chance that my sister won't be a witness and she will love me and my evil lifestyle. Mwhahaha.

Hell, I'll go home and tell her that she's gay as well and just send her into a histrionic seizure or something.

42

Memorial conundrum - "So good to see you. Where have you been?"

by Meeting Junkie No More in

ok, gearing up for the memorial - our annual have to attend.

this is the first year that we will be showing up without having been to meetings in months.

on the last meeting i was cajoled into attending, i was bombarded with the above question.

saywhat29

OMG, im gonna ahve to go through the same thing I guess- it's soo annoying. *sighs* Whatevahs. I'm gonna do the 'I've been busy/depressed/been prostituting my self to Satan" angle and hope they go away.

God, if i didn't like living @ home and eating my fam's food, and washign clothes for free... I swear! I'd be... somehwre else living off of some older guy who would support me and my 'art' and stuff!

sw29- King of the Moochers.

17

HI IM BACK AND MUCH NICER

by Cordelia in

jw
friends

i took oon board what you all said, to be honest i was crying all time (not like me) and i turned to you guys for support but basically what everyone said that ineeded to sort myself ouf first was right ,, and i think maybe i have, i still single but everytime my parents keep on stick up for myself they know i dont believe it no more , i know its took me ages to come to this but its true im hurting them like hell but i thinki have to for me .

does anyone understand??

xxx.

saywhat29

What?

Cordelia, i don't know if this is a troll-type post or what but I suggest going back and editing your post 'cause its hard to understand. My post ooze speling mistakes all the time but yours cannot be comprehended as of now.

But if I am reading right, welcome back and sorry to hear about your parent's being disappointed. Sucks. But its good that you are out.

98

Torn between being Gay and the Truth.........

by ScoobySnax in

jw
friends

is there anything worse than this?

sometimes it is ok, other times it sucks.

saywhat29

Yeah, it's really hard to follow what Joelbear said. He is right about their being alot of other celibate Jws; i remember somebody pming me this messageboard one time for celibate jws... depressing!

But if that is what you believe then that is what you should do.

But if its not, then I would look into what you believe instead of what you think you believe because there is mucho evidence against the truth being the truth and I personally think that you may be scared for what that may mean. If its not the truth then you may just have to face yourself, face your sexuality and what not and that can be scary and its,,,easy to hide behind the JW faith and believe it even when you know it falls apart, even when you knw it sounds nice but the belief system does not hold up.

I've been there, buddy and its scary but don't let it drown you with fear and stuff; you are still young and you don't haveto make a decision right now. But i'd just look into it more and hold your head up.

37

Did anyone ever "Really" stumble you ?

by Casper in

jw
friends

this is one of the things i felt could get really petty in the congregation i attended, sometimes over the top, in my opinion.. one time a group of us sisters went on a shopping trip.

the driver was knocking herself out trying to find some "decent" music on the radio.

finally gave up and put a john mellencamp tape in.

saywhat29

Oh m god, I never felt stumbled by anyones- if anything, I liked seeing people do "bad" things like wear jeans and listen to 'regular' music on the radio, skate, wear clothes that are fashionable and attractive instead of clunky and old and stuff (not asking you to look like you were a corner but that you look like a regular person!)

It mae me feel good because I hate having to hear about how others might be stumbled. To me, whenever I saw something 'stumbling' i saw something rather 'human'. I would never forget when I was listening to sme spanish sisters talk about their telenovelas or whatever and some tohers felt uncomfortable and another sister who was latina explained that whatever anyone said, you cannot get latins to stop watching their soaps.

I know, I know, there are countless latin witnesses who did but it was glad to see some that retained what they liked.

38

I like gay people.

by Pioneer Spit...oh, i mean Spirit in

jw
friends

in fact, if what you are has 'people' after it, no matter what it is, i like you.

you don't have to club baby seals to be my friend.. myeah..

saywhat29

LOL, this is so funny to me as I just got off of the bus with this crackhead guy ranting about faggots and stuff and had me dying rolling.

The question is not if you like gay people, but if i like you....

And i do. I like most of you, some of you can die in a fire.

And by fire, I mean the flames of all those flaming homosexuals you are talking about.

24

Family :-(

by Bumble Bee in

do you ever wish your family was different than what you have?

i would so love to have the type of family a friend of mine has.

they are all very very close, their children are very close, they get together every sunday for brunch, each sibling takes a turn at having it at their place.

saywhat29

God, I so want a "non"traditional family too 'cause mine drive me up the effin' wall. I wanna have a kid or two with my husband Wentworth Miller that we share with a couple of lesbians because with 4 people, like kids can't be that annoying. "Go to your other dad! And if he's not there then call one of your mothers 'cause I swear! I'm fed up with you right now kid!"

But that's my vision of my own family apart from the one I have. I love them as of course everyone loves there family. And I know they love me too but I have the same problem as cognac (i think) stated when she said that they really do not kow me but want what they see. I'm really opinionated, liberal, and just not what they want dammit. And the JW stuff aside sometimes they are just irrational as hell. I can't really talk to them anymore and they really don't wanna talk to me either when I think about it.