Listen...there's only one thing here that can really help you. You've got to think "Comedy Sitcom", "Reality TV".
Got to get creative here. Like a page out of a Carol Burnette, or Jim Carrey script, you have to make these people NOT want to come back, over silly things like.......
Act 1 - you go along with the whole "revival" thing, fully invite the opportunity for them to come study. You tro down a can of baked beans and broccoli 1 to 2 hours before they get there (without your wife knowing)...get real close and personal with your guests and let the SBD's fly bud.
Act 2 - they can't get their keys in the car door fast enough!
Keep this "innocent" stuff up a few meetings, and the problem is solved! Guaranteed.
Leave half your shirt tucked out, make uncomfortable jokes, DON'T CLIP YOUR TOE NAILS, and leave your shoes and socks off...stuff like that.
You can do it!!!