I am sorry...but JWs do NOT have a dont ask dont tell policy...if they find out you are gay and cannot reform you, you are OUT of the closet and out the door. Big Tex hit the nail on the head. The potential gay study may be told as long as he keeps in under control he is okay...but the rest of the congregation is looking at you sides ways and talking about you. and unless you prove youre cured by getting married, then good luck getting privillages....you have to be a pretty good actor and no one has to know you were ever gay.
I have a friend of the family that has been disfellowshipped 5 times in the last 20 years...he is gay, but keeps trying to fight it, and fight it and FIGHT it...which lead to a drinking and drug problem. He had thought he was cured when he was disfellowshipped for the 4th time because he had thought he had fallen in love with a woman...a woman he had to give up when he was reinstated.
I feel badly for all the gays out there that had to live as a witness until they were able to get free...it must have been pretty damn tough. Definately listen to those people. If anyone ever tells you that gays are welcome they are not telling you the truth..they are welcome to study, but if they are changing their ways, then JWs are not encouraged to associate with you. and if you get baptised, and cannot fight your feelings, then you are out, and shunned. If you want to study, go ahead, but dont get baptised. They can still talk to you if you just study but decide it is not for you. but if you get baptise and get kicked out or leave...then you must be shunned.
Check out some other churches that openly accept gays. Universalist Uniterians are very open, and are very different from other churches. Many of the ministers are gay themselves. I dont really consider them christian, beacuse they dont have any real doctrine...but they accept others lifestyles and beliefs....aethists are welcome there, as well as others from different religious backgrounds.
good luck on your search.