as everyday passes by being alone, i am enjoying it more and more.
i have grown distant from friends, and the only contact with others i have is at work and in the lab.
i do not talk to most of my classmates except the ones i am in an assigned group with.
Hello,
To me it sounds like you are on a voyage of discovery in your psyche- you have been on a voyage of discovery in the outside and now you want to know who you realy are as a person.
Very good-just don´t forget to stay in touch with the world outside too.
Good luck on your journey
Mathilde
a woman was working in a post office in california.. .
one day she licked the envelopes and postage stamps instead of using a. .
sponge.
oh my god- how nasty!!!
Mathilde
when you attended your last meeting ever as a dub, did you know it was your last?
did something happen which made it clear in your mind you were 'never going back' (not to be confused with nvrgnbk)?.
the last meeting we went to was the memorial in 2006. we only went because we knew we were already pegged for the elders' unwanted attention, so we had to go to keep them off our backs a little longer.
International Convention, Copenhagen 200? Can´t even remember wich year it was.
I had been reading a lot here-and I had found out so much-the most important thing for me was to find out that I wasn´t alone with my bad experiences with the tower and that there was nothing wrong with me-my doubts had been turned into facts and I was NOT alone about this!
So there I was, sitting on a concrete bench in the burning sun-hearing all the same xxxx again.the same bible quotes, the same warnings, the same begging for money,and on and on....
Because I had been here it was like I could see the complete thing with fresh eyes-and for the first time I allowed myself to really feel the irritation and anger towards the org.for misleading so many people with their bullxxxx.
There and then I knew this was the very last time I´d waste my time, energy, money and my selfrespect to this organisation.
Mathilde
growing up my mother always told us "jehovah will provide.
" we didn't have a car, we pioneered and did our best.
when i left school i pioneered full time with my mother and sister, we were a single parent family living on government benefits.
Yes, it´s so true what you tell there.
Strange, that it seems to be the same all over the world...it tells a lot about them doesn´t it?
When I was still in- I was alone with 2 boys-doing okay-saving every penny to send the youngest to a private school because I want him to get a good education.
But my house was always open for the "friends" and every summer I had the complete cong over for a party as I had the biggest garden.And they loved to come and enjoy themselves.In FS I would take the old bro´s and sis´in my car because the others already "had made plans who to work with". I would also often pop in at the old people in the cong and do some shopping,bring medicine or drive them to the doctor or so.Not many others helped them, no, they were in FS preaching about the love among God´s true people!
But never,truely never,has a brother helped me when there was something wrong with my car or if I needed a hand with something practical around the house...yet when bro x was building a new house they all helped there...or they would help each other with other things.
I was thinking that it might be because the JW´s are so paranoia about sex andthat their thought was that a single sister might just jump their bones and demand hot sex here and now....lol
I saw the old sisters,lonely and forgotten-the"loving" JW´s complaining when they had to pick them up to come to the hall or for FS-these old ladies who had been faithfull most of their lives,one even had the KH at her house and later donated the land on wich my old cong is built.another used to babysit for all the sisters in the cong so they could attend FS- now they were just a burden.
And I was thinking,jeeezzz is this MY future too?
Then, at a little come together a sis asked my son: well M.what are you going to do when you have finished your posh school?
And he smiled and said:well sis X ,I´ll go to a posh university,get me a posh degree and live a nice posh life.
You could cut the silence.
Then she looked at me and asked: do you agree with that?
Me: yes of course, why do you think I work so hard and pay for that school? Why should every JW become a window cleaner?Why should M let his intelligence go to waste?When I was young I was told not to have an education because the big A was just around the corner- and here I am today, struggeling on my own-do you realy think I want this for any of my children? no no no my son is going to study anything he wants.
And the woman said: well my dear, then you are not a strong JW.
She was right.
Mathilde
Me.....
Mathilde
i`ve got a nice gym up here at the ranch..rows of dumbells.a few barbells.lots of free wieghts..and..a few machines.....my hand is healed up from being crushed in the ranch gate and i wanted to get back to working out.....i needed a new bench press.something a little more up to date..so..i headed for civilization......canadian tire had a nice one for $149.95..walmart had one better for $89.95..$89.00 for a bench of that quality??
!..........so..i went and got a shopping cart,so i could put the boxed up bench press,in it..i went to pick up the box..i could barely lift it!..it was like it was bolted to the floor.....was i so out of shape from not working out,i couldn`t lift the bench i wanted to exercise on???..lol!
!.....i managed to get the box waist high and almost into the cart..but not quite..the box is resting on the edge of the shopping cart and moving away from me..now i`m chasing a shopping cart down the isle trying to get the frigg`n box into it.i looked like an idiot!..lol!
Jesus OUTLAW...it´s a long tome ago I laughed so much----how I wish I could have seen you!
Hope you didn´t hurt your back
Mathilde
why are we here on date nite, all the singles????.
big d.
Well, I´ve worked a lot this week,so I wanted to do something nice today.
I went to visit my son and his family. He´s building a new bathroom so I wanted to see how things were going there,also I wanted to see their new cat (one of these big ones,is it spelled as Coon?) What a lovely little animal(yet) only 8 weeks old and sooooo sweet.
We had a lot of fun toghether,made plans for the xmas party and for my birthdayparty.
Now I´m just relaxing...aaah life is good!
No FS tomorrow, no KH..Yep, life is good
Mathilde
in the interest of self-healing and finding the peace that comes from being grateful, can you think of anything at all that was positive about having been one of jehovah's witnesses?.
not to be misunderstood with missing something about it, is there something about the experience that has enriched you?.
to answer the question myself, being forced to face the fallacies of the teachings of jwism, i was also prompted to look past those teachings and reevaluate everything i believed in.. that experience was frightening and unsettling, but i'm thankful for it.. i now have a greater appreciation for life in all its wonder than i did when i took it for granted as one of jehovah's witnesses.. i'm more determined now to find meaning in this life, after having lived for so long for a future that was never to arrive..
The only thing I´m grateful for is that it made me stop smoking....
Mathilde
they are the shoes that everyone loves to hate.
they are also the shoes that have fans that will disregard what others in this world say about them in regards to fashion and taste.
if you wear and love them, you just don't care, your feet are happy and that's all that matters.
sound of silence.. as my wife is a j.w all along the watchtower!
!.
The Rolling Stones "satisfaction"
Mathilde
