Posts by daytona27

32

Did the Watchtower screw up your life ?

by JH in

jw
friends

on a scale from 1 to 10, to what degree did they screw up your life ?

let it be the watchtower or the jw's... 10 is the maximum.

i'd say 7.

daytona27

Today was a bad day. I won't blame the WT, but would like to vent... I married young to a woman that decided she didn't and couldn't love me..immediately after marriage. She brought up divorce constantly and ran me into the ground emotionally....incredibly fault finding, nasty, controlling, but flawless in the eyes of the cong. No elder would listen when I asked for help. Later I would think she was trying to make me crack so she could get out of the marriage with no ill effects for her. I loved her dearly but it never mattered. I left her once after two nervous breakdowns and slept with a girl from work that actually wanted me. It was nice to be wanted after 10 years of rejection and I fell for it. I was immediately DFd. She wanted to work things out, I was reinstated. I stayed another 4 years...same constant emotional abuse. I finally left for good and was DFd again...stated to me that it was because there was something wrong with me. Coming up on two years out. Completely isolated and alone, I live in an apartment and have virtually nothing in my life but 16 years of wreckage. I find out today that she's remarried. I don't know why, but I'm crushed. I was never good enough for her...she got off "scot free" after deliberately running me into the ground relentlessly. So, she's remarried, her life on track. I'm out, alone and shunned by everyone I knew. Anyway, sorry to vent, but just the fact that my mom hid it from me that she was remarried and I had to find out through an e-mail...I know I shouldn't care. I wish I didn't care. The only thing I ever wanted was a life with her, children, etc. I was a very good husband, but it didn't matter. So I'm 36...no life to speak of, shunned by all former friends and family. Life is great.

18

Sex dream dilemma

by 5thGeneration in

jw
friends

been married 16 years.

never have or would cheat on my wife.. problem is... .

even when i have a 'dream' about cheating i wake up before i can pull the trigger.. i'm even loyal in my dreams dammit!!!

daytona27

I always had the same situation with my wife. Funny...she could screw as many people in her dreams as she wanted and had no conscience about it.

26

Non-traditional marriage proposal -- she ask him?

by merfi in

jw
friends

your thoughts?.

.

(thinking about it...).

daytona27

I'd say yes.

17

Are you ready?

by whyamihere in

jw
friends

snow?!.

god, i can't wait!

freezing temperatures, 3 feet of snow on the ground - heaven is just around the corner.. brookie.

daytona27

niiice avatar

24

How many of you are still affected by "Armageddon?"

by Soledad in

jw
friends

i know i am, or at least now i'm finally willing to admit it.

when making future plans, i still have "jehovah's day" in the back of my mind.

i never caught myself doing that until fairly recently, and i just realized that it was holding me back in many ways.

daytona27

I just want it to come so all of this will be over.

39

Suicide

by Nicolas in

jw
friends

i know it's a touchy subject, but anyone here has ever thought of suicide while they were still in the organization?

it seem to me that jehovah's witnesses have a much higher rate of suicide than the rest of the population.

i contemplated suicide myself when i was struggling to get piece of my life back together after being raised as a "perfect little jw" when i was young.

daytona27

The only place I'd ever post it is here, but a couple of years ago, I attempted. I'd been in a severely mentally abusive relationship that nobody but my family knew about it or believed (elders). My wife was beautiful and very outgoing, yet she was unbelievably cruel. I sucked it up and went just did the only thing you're allowed to do...endure. At 10 years I went through my first nervous breakdown and was very suicidal and depressed. Long story short, I was on and off depressants for 4 years. One day I left work, and decided I was ending it. I won't go into details, but I stopped it within 1-2 seconds of going unconscious. I checked myself into a hospital and was on lockdown for week. When I got out, I went to a meeting and was supposed to have a #2 talk. The elders knew I was in the hospital for attempted suicide. When I came in the hall, they asked "It was just an isolated incident, right? Can you still give your talk?" My wife still.....unbelievably would not stop. After a few months, I separated and I'll spare the other details, but let's just say the elders decided before they met with me. I won't even repeat what was said. It's just too much to relive that stuff. That was two years ago. I don't believe in bashing the org, but I've run into some really heartless people. I'm a kind person who hung in there as long as my sanity lasted. I'm continually on anti-depressants now, and I'm alone. Not a great place to be, but I have peace. I've got no goals, no real future at this point, just still trying to heal from the last 15 years. To answer your question, I think that the judgmental attitude of many, the lack of love that is common, and the beliefs that there is no fiery hell all CAN contribute to a person taking the "easy" and "peaceful" way out of their lives and attempting or carrying through with suicide. The problem with suicidal thoughts, or attempting. She can be a sweet seductress that calls to you.....the thoughts and even attempts come easier. Try not to go down that road. Trust your healthcare professional and get help if you have these thoughts. At least, even if you don't want to live, try to have the desire to not want to feel that way...it can help you decide to get help.

50

Has anyone found dating as an EX JW difficult?

by sweetstuff in

just curious as to what difficulties have faced people dating as an ex jw.

myself, i have noticed the glazed over look in a guy's eyes when you try to explain why your family doesn't celebrate the holidays with you etc.

new to this board, so if this has been well covered before, please forgive me.

daytona27

I'm divorced at 36 after never really having dated. Like a lot of witnesses, I married young to the first girl I had a relationship with. We divorced 14 years later. I made what I would say are some "normal" female friends. One get's married and then tells me she's in love with me...kind of a betrayal of our friendship actually. My quest is to just have friends without it getting weird, but somehow...it does. Either that or the girls think we just want to get in their pants. To me, it's all a big hassle and a lot of work...drama. I'll just continue to do what I like to do. Boating, diving, fishing, riding my bike. If I meet someone I click with, great. But I'm sure as hell not going out looking for anything...just not worth it to me. But to answer your question, yeah, having the beliefs and trying to mesh with anyone who doesn't or never did...it's always weird.

20

a burning plane

by John Doe in

jw
friends

you're on a plane flight training for parachuting when the plane develops problems and begins rapid descent.

everyone neatly and orderly forms a line for the parachutes, and you remember your etiquette and don't rush, panic, push, shove or shout.

the circumstances so happen that there are exactly twice as many passengers as parachutes, and the person directly in front of you is in line for the last one.