tenyearsafter

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Posts by tenyearsafter

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  119

  How many of you followed the WTS direction on education years ago and have been screwed by it?

  by Julia Orwell in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i'm really interested in this question because i've heard for years that if you forgo further education and go pioneering, when you have a family down the track you will get a good job because jehovah will provide for you because you pioneered.

  as long as i was a kool-aid drinker, even then, i thought, "how does pioneering pay your bills?

  surely education should come first.

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  tenyearsafter

  I started university in 1969, much to the displeasure of my fellow JW's. I caved under the pressure from the congregation to pioneer, with an eye to the system ending in 1975, and left school. I started to wake up a bit in the 80's and went ahead and finished my degree in 1988...better late than never.

  I wanted to make sure my kids didn't fall in to the same trap, and managed to get them both through college with degrees. As a result of my wanting my kids to have an education, I was viewed as "less spiritual" and a father not putting spiritual things first. That would have devasted me in my younger years, but by then I had my foot out the door already. Both my kids have great careers and are living productive lives...both outside of the Borg.

  Unfortunately, my experience growing up in the JW's is very different from many of my friends...the majority of my old cohorts didn't go to college, and ended up in jobs that they probably would not have chosen if they had a chance at higher education. Most went in to the trades and did, and still do, hard physical labor to make a living. They have survived and made it through life, but I know they wonder "what could have been?".
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  40

  Non JW involved with a JW

  by LostInTranslation in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  i am a non jw who has been doing a fair amount of research on my own in hopes of finding some answers and understanding for my current heartwrenching situation:.

  i have been dating a man for the last while, and we grew very close, very quickly.. .

  suddenly he has pulled away from me, gotten very skittish and says he feels like he is leading a double life, and isn't ready for a relationship.. all the while stating that his impending divorce is the reason for his cold feet, which could be understandable except the marriage was very much "over" long ago.

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  tenyearsafter

  One thing I haven't seen mentioned is whether you have been intimate with this chap, (sorry, don't mean to be overly prying)...if you have, this could be a real problem for the future of the relationship. You mentioned that he has a pending divorce, but in the eyes of a JW he is still married and would be commiting adultery if he was intimate with another person. This could be working on his conscience and creating his sudden change of personality. If he has been a JW for any length of time, this control can be very strong.

  I would love to offer more encouragement, but I am afraid that most JW's, unless they are already mentally "out", will not make good relationship material unless you convert. Good luck in your journey through this chapter of your life...
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  16

  Jehovah's Witnesses believe they are not an American sect - Why?

  by bats in the belfry in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  the reason being:.

  "all of our teachings are based on the bible, not on the writings of some religious leader in the united states.

  " 1 thessalonians 2:13.. (item #3 on jw.org web page).

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  tenyearsafter

  They don't want to be put in to the same category as Sevnth Day Adventists, Mormons, Christian Scientists, etc. The WTS has always taught that they are teaching directly from Jesus and the Apostles...thus they consider themselves to be directly linked to the First Century Christians.
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  86

  My wife just told me to move out...

  by nolongerconfused in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  because of "religious" differences, she now wants me to move out and "separate"...i said what biblical grounds does she have for her request?.

  she couldnt respond...she said she'd rather be beaten up by me than have an "apostate" in the house.... this org definitely encourages conditional love.... i don't know what to do...by the way, we dont have children.

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  tenyearsafter

  Thanks jgnat!...I must have missed that acronym when it started being used.
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  79

  I Got disfellowshiped..wana die!

  by Chichi89 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i jus got dissfellowshiped at th last week..i feel like dying..i attended th meetings yesterday and ita ws jus horrible..came back home in tears....... people i used to cal my friends nw cant look me in the eye..so heartbroken confused and giving up on life !.

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  tenyearsafter

  ChiChi89...first of all, welcome!

  The things you are feeling are by design. The disfellowshipping process is meant to make you feel inadequate, unloved and evil. Once you realize that this is a high control mechanism used by the WTS to "keep people in line", it will allow you to transition through it.

  I am getting the feeling you are in your early 20's...this can be a very vulnerable time as we tend to be very sensitive to what others think of us. I was fortunate that I was in my 40's when I was DF'ed, and didn't really care what other people thought. I think if you see friends and family as prisoners of the WTS, you will be better able to work through your feelings. Do not let them make you feel less a person...if you isolate yourself from "wordly" friends, this will be difficult since you will have no other point of reference.

  The one thing I haven't seen is whether you are looking to be reinstated...the answer to that question will have much to do with your "recovery". If you intend to go back, then you will have to play their game...just view it as a game. If you are not going back, then you need to find new friends, interests and gain new experiences. Trust me when I say, things will get better for you with each passing month.

  I wish you the very best in your journey...

  TYA
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  86

  My wife just told me to move out...

  by nolongerconfused in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  because of "religious" differences, she now wants me to move out and "separate"...i said what biblical grounds does she have for her request?.

  she couldnt respond...she said she'd rather be beaten up by me than have an "apostate" in the house.... this org definitely encourages conditional love.... i don't know what to do...by the way, we dont have children.

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  tenyearsafter

  I feel stupid...what does TTATT stand for?
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  9

  "Paradise Earth" Book?

  by Blackbird Singing in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  anyone out there reading anthony mathenias "paradise earth"?

  incredible read, very interesting, but kind of freaky, so many memories.....blackbird.

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  tenyearsafter

  Just ordered it on Kindle...sounds interesting.
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  72

  What are the 3 most unusual things you have done?

  by Lady Lee in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  ok so we have all be jws so that isn't unusual.

  supply pictures if you can.. i have ridden an elephant.

  ok so it was at the zoo but it was still an elephant.

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  tenyearsafter

  1. Played Hearts with Woody Harrelson while sitting on the floor of a Delta plane on the way to LA.

  2. Was childhood pals with Jay North (Dennis the Menace), Angela Cartwright (Lost in Space and Make Room for Daddy) and Robert Shields (Shields and Yarnell).

  3. Have traveled to over 75 countries...boated the length of the Amazon, fished in Christmas Island, took the train to Machu Picchu, sailed the Corinth Canal and so much more.

  I have had a blessed life...and all this despite having been in the Borg for 40 years!
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  52

  New Member / MS still in...

  by Comatose in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  feels real strange typing this.

  i was what you all call born in.

  i was happy growing up.

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  tenyearsafter

  Welcome to the Board Comatose...you will find it an interesting and helpful place to share your new feelings/fears/questions.

  When you first start to accept that certain things don't sit right regarding the JW's, it can be a very disorienting and disturbing set of emotions and feelings. Doubts can be troubling at first, but ultimately liberating. If you haven't read it yet, I'd recommend getting a copy of Crisis of Conscience by Ray Franz...it helps clarify many questions in a balanced and kind way. Keep reading the posts on the Board...you will se a wide range of people in various stages of their journey regarding the WTS. Some are still in while others have left. You will see everything from ex-JW's who became Evangelicals to embracing Atheism. Whatever path you choose, you can learn from the experiences of those who proceed you.

  Good luck as you travel the path of real truth!
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  25

  Necessary family business

  by stillin in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  that seems almost redundant to me.

  isn't all family business important and necessary?

  having a meal with your grown, disfellowshipped child seems to me necessary part of having raised a decent, family-values sort of child.

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  tenyearsafter

  "Necessary family business" means, "when financial or physical help is needed from an apostate, then it is ok to talk and associate"...as long as it means the congregation or "brothers" don't have to step up and help the affected congregation member. Hypocites!!