LearningToFly

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Posts by LearningToFly

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  18

  Is this abuser a pedophile or messed up victim of abuse

  by LearningToFly in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  i've been trying to figure this one out for awhile now, it's something i have let go and dealt with but i do have some questions regarding it now.

  when i was seven, i had an older jw female cousin who was thirteen who forced me into sexual activities.

  she used threat of bodily harm as her way of forcing this.

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  LearningToFly

  Thank you for your thoughts..

  Sweetface: Thank you for sharing your experience ((Hugs)) Thank you as well for the suggestion to find this cousin to let her know I have forgiven her. It would be a final healing moment for myself, as well as set her mind at ease if it is something that has haunted her like you shared of your abuser.

  I see from other thoughts as well, that unless she continued to abuse past her youth as she did, she is not a pedophile, but a victim as well. I truly wish to see some healing take place within this family, I have sought support to heal long ago, and all in all do quite well. I was the only one who dared to speak out long ago, even though it was not nearly enough. From what I hear, the family continues to hold all the abuses experienced secret, a taboo topic not discussed, so therefore no one is healing.

  It truly scares me that without healing.. there could likely be a continuation of this abuse within this family. Perhaps by conctacting this cousin.. I may be able to in some way start their path of healing. I feel so sad for the youngest girl who lived her life as a JW only to now go completely bonkers and fall into heavy drug and alcohol use. This shows me that she too must have been victimized.

  Maybe this is my way to do something to help.. by breaking my silence and approaching this cousin could lead to opening doors to reach others in the family and support the youngest cousin. I am sure she needs it.. from what I have heard other JW family members are talking of her like she is the devil himself. This family likes to devilize anyone who leaves the church or family. And yet they are all devilized themselves in many ways.

  Thanks again.. LTF
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  31

  I want some Cheetos. How 'bout you?

  by Little Drummer Boy in

  1. social
  2. humour

  that's all.. just some crunchy cheetos.

  not the poofy kind.

  i like the crunchy ones.. dunno why.

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  LearningToFly

  I'm wishing for a ice cold freshly blended non alcoholic pina colada drink at this moment..
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  38

  New kid on the block

  by Maddie in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  this is my first message and i am glad to be here.

  i guess you could say i just got some new light!.

  i have had a tough time lately - all the scars from being a jw and not wanting to lose contact with my family.

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  LearningToFly

  Welcome to the Forum Maddie

  LTF
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  82

  What Things Would You Not Have Done As A JW That You Would Do Now?

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  as witnesses, we were very concerned that we might offend somebody's conscience and our actions reflected that.

  if someone might've been "stumbled" by our actions or speech, we would make sure we would do everything possible to not upset another fellow brother or sister.. i would not have gone to an "r" rated movie.

  now, i go to any rated or unrated movie because i don't give a sh*t what smeone might feel over my choice.. what things are you free to do without worrying that someone might be disturbed over it?

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  LearningToFly

  Think for myself.

  Vote.

  Get and education.

  Celebrate Christmas, and halloween which I love.

  Go out dancing in clubs.

  Read whatever I want.

  Go to adult toy stores.

  Enjoy a drinky now and then.

  Talk to other disfellowshiped people.

  ect... ect... ect...
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  26

  Just found out my dog has cancer

  by Bumble Bee in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  two types of cancer in both her upper and lower jaws.

  melanoma in the top jaw, squamous cell carcinoma in the lower.

  both are bad cancers.

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  LearningToFly

  Sorry to hear about your puppy BB.. pets are like family to me.. that is sad.. hugs!

  LTF
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  17

  Welcome Devil's Avocado!

  by changeling in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  love, love, love the name!.

  changeling.

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  LearningToFly

  Welcome to the forum Devils Avocado.. great name
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  18

  Is this abuser a pedophile or messed up victim of abuse

  by LearningToFly in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  i've been trying to figure this one out for awhile now, it's something i have let go and dealt with but i do have some questions regarding it now.

  when i was seven, i had an older jw female cousin who was thirteen who forced me into sexual activities.

  she used threat of bodily harm as her way of forcing this.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  LearningToFly

  Thanks BigD.. I am truly totally fine now.. and have been for a long time. I am not sure what the answer is either regarding the cousin.. if she was a pedophile then.. then she likely continued to be.. why I queery it now..
• 
  18

  Is this abuser a pedophile or messed up victim of abuse

  by LearningToFly in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  i've been trying to figure this one out for awhile now, it's something i have let go and dealt with but i do have some questions regarding it now.

  when i was seven, i had an older jw female cousin who was thirteen who forced me into sexual activities.

  she used threat of bodily harm as her way of forcing this.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  LearningToFly

  I've been trying to figure this one out for awhile now, it's something I have let go and dealt with but I do have some questions regarding it now.

  When I was seven, I had an older JW female cousin who was thirteen who forced me into sexual activities. She used threat of bodily harm as her way of forcing this. It carried on for a year, until we moved away. For many years I felt really messed up over the experience and did not tell anyone until therapy many years later, in fact for many years it was virtually buried, but still there. But like I said, I dealt with it and came to a place of forgiving her, even though I still wanted no contact.

  This cousin also forced my younger sister who was five into sexual activities, which I did not find out about until we were both adult women. No one talked about it. As well she instigated sexual activity with her much younger brothers who were five and four at the time.

  This girl had also been abused by her pervert/pig stepfather, whom I knew even as a small child was a pervert, although I didnt know the word then or context, I just didnt like him, and kept my distance.

  Now, my thoughts are, was she a victim acting out her abuse on others, or would she be considered a predator by the law and societies viewpoints. Even I can't define her behavior. And I do have very strong feelings against sexual predators and pedophiles.

  This girl left home quite young, about 15, and went really wild.. settled down later in life and had a family. I never did seek contact with her due to my experiences, although I have forgiven her in my mind now.

  I'de really like to hear some thoughts on this.. although the experience for me was long ago dealt with, and I no longer feel shameful or guilt over it, I do queery her part in it.

  I think to myself now, if this was my child, I would have gotten her therapy for her behaviours as well as the abuse she experienced, but this was never done as far as I know. It was just kept a big family secret, no one telling anyone their experiences or sharing.

  Her mother, my aunt stayed married to the pig for many years too.. up until I was in my late 20's.. he was finally disfellowshiped for homosexual activities. My aunt finally divorced him at this point. It makes me wonder who else was abused in that home, although I have no contact with the two male cousins and younger female cousin. The youngest girl, who is close to 30 now, I have just recently heard, was always such a sweet girl, but just recently went totally wild, left her husband and children, and is living a hard life.

  Who does one blame for all this.. I am wondering at this moment.. so much sickness in that religion. I could share more stories of other branches of the family.. children abused.. it goes on and on.. and all associates of the church. I am digressing now.. but would like thoughts on the 13 year old abuser.
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  182

  Please share a quote that you enjoy...

  by nvrgnbk in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  nothing contributes so much to tranquilize the mind as a steady purpose--.

  a point on which the soul may fix its intellectual eye.. mary shelley.

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  LearningToFly

  "And forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair" Kahlil Gibran

  "And ever has it been known that love knows not its own depth until the hour of seperation" Kahlil Gibran

  "Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls, the most massive characters are seared with scars" Kahlil Gibrah

  "The teacher who is indeed wise does not bid you to enter the house of his wisdom but rather leads you to the threshold of your mind" Kahlil Gibran

  "Wisdom ceases to be wisdom when it becomes too proud to weep, to greave to laugh, and to selfish to seek other than itself" Kahlil Gibran
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  33

  Funny Cat Pics

  by mrsjones5 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i was looking for something and came upon these pictures of cats in hats:.

  .

  too funny.

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  LearningToFly

  well... me without coffee in the morning.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ExzMWq-F3K4