Posts by LearningToFly

37

Sweet elderly sister reproved...

by changeling in

jw
friends

for having too much contact with her df'd son!.

she's a loyal, long time witness in her seventies, with a "non-believing" husband.

she harms nobody with her bevavior.

LearningToFly

That is really sad, poor little lady..

LTF

15

i have not talked to a good witness friend of mine in 3 weeks.. yesterday, i called and asked if he had not called me due to being mad for some reason (seems like i have to do the calling all the time).. he told me that he had been severely derpressed, and had comtemplated suicide.. he's seeing some kind of natural care doctor.

i congradulated him on seeking help, but advised him to also talk to mental health doctor.. he is totally against that!.

he told me that he's only gonna do the following 2 things: 1) take some happy vitamins, 2) try to do more service hours!.

LearningToFly

Sorry to hear about your friend. He really needs to see a professional, hopefully someone can convince him its really important.

Depression is very serious, I know as I have dealt with it for several years and still struggle with it. I have though taken time to educate myself fully on the dynamics of it and do know that there is a fine line between thinking suicidal thoughts and not acting on them, and the fatal side.. acting on them. Without professional help or medication, many will cross that fine line.

Keep an eye on your friend, if you find you are truly worried, do what another poster suggested and call suicide prevention or the police. I have done so before.. it is better to get someone help unwillingly than to lose them because they refused help.

LTF

30

Why is god so angry?

by keyser soze in

in reading the scriptures, it is clear that god has some serious anger issues, not to mention insecurities.

how does he deal with anyone who displeases him in the old testament?

he not only kills them, but their children, and their children's children.

LearningToFly

Yep.. lol.. Im a great shot

LTF

30

Why is god so angry?

by keyser soze in

in reading the scriptures, it is clear that god has some serious anger issues, not to mention insecurities.

how does he deal with anyone who displeases him in the old testament?

he not only kills them, but their children, and their children's children.

LearningToFly

Because I was throwing things at him again today

17

Admiting Mistakes/Poor Judgements?

by choosing life in

jw
friends

do you find it hard to admit mistakes oe even just incidents of poor judgements on your part?

most of the time i do not have trouble, but occassionally i am more reluctant.

what makes it so important to us, that we become stubborn and refuse to bend?.

LearningToFly

I used to find it so hard to admit I made a mistake.. acknowledging that I did somehow gave me the feeling I was a mistake or a failure. It was the all or nothing.. black and white.. way of thinking.

I now and for a long time now have no problem acknowledging I made a mistake.. accepting I am human.. and can fail without imagining I am a failure.

I also find as pointed out in the first post: That a simple, heartfelt ("I am sorry") means more to me than anything.

16

Its about today

by purplesofa in

jw
friends

make it count, make it special, enjoy one connection and embrace it, know your strong, know your right, discover yourself, don't let them fool you, smile, laugh, love, repeat.. yeah!.

purps.

.

LearningToFly

Thanks Purps, that is a lovely reminder...

LTF

105

Describe the Perfect Woman or Man....

by Dragonlady76 in

jw
friends

ok after the serena williams thread and a few others that focus on looks i want to know what your idea of perfection in the opposite or same sex is.. i like muscular men with a full head of hair, i love classic features like a strong nose and jaw.. i also find blond blue eyed men sexy (don't ask me why).

i don't like that are to thin, nice teeth and soft eyes.. ok now it's your turn.. .

LearningToFly

Intelligence, with an open mind.

Confident, but not arrogant.

A great smile, and twinkling eyes.

Cuddly, warm, romantic and strong at the same time.

Clean cut, but not neccesarily polished.

Tallness is an initial attraction as well, but not totally neccesary, if all of the above requirements are there.

LTF

41

What affected you more, growing up in the cult, or a dysfunctional family?

by Bumble Bee in

i think for me, it was the dysfunctional family.

things from my childhood are finally getting to me.

i've tried for so long to just push them to the back of my mind.

LearningToFly

For me it was a double edged sword. My family was and is extremely dysfunctional, they would not have been any different if they weren't JW's.

Without the religion I would still have had major issues through life due to the wide range of abuses that took place in our home. But, with the added spiritual abuse my psyche was further twisted in regards to my abuse experiences, making me feel even more damaged, evil and worthless, because the message was that God felt this way about me.

Being shunned at 16, still a child in many ways, was like being thrown to the lions. I survived it, but was left with many scars that are still tender and open up now and then.

28

cross your fingers for me

by Lady Lee in

jw
friends

as some of you know but others don't i have been suffering from nerve pain in my feet for the last 4 years.

the pain has put me in a wheelchair and the medications have been less than promising.

it helped destroy my second marriage and put me on disability.

LearningToFly

So sorry youve had such a struggle Lee It is really awesome that you have found something that is making a difference, I am crossing my fingers and toes that it continues.

Please be careful.. I had a gasp reading of your cabinet crash.. I am glad you were not harmed.. and also glad to read you didnt lose to many treasures in there.

Hugs and keep healing

LTF

18

Is this abuser a pedophile or messed up victim of abuse

by LearningToFly in

i've been trying to figure this one out for awhile now, it's something i have let go and dealt with but i do have some questions regarding it now.

when i was seven, i had an older jw female cousin who was thirteen who forced me into sexual activities.

she used threat of bodily harm as her way of forcing this.

LearningToFly

Thank you again LadyLee and all posters!

I wondered to myself after I posted, why I needed to ask this question, but did so anyways.

Just now, while reading your posts.. I realized I still needed some validation that it was abuse.The adult knows it was, but I guess the child needed to here it from peers like yourself, not just my therapist.

Logically I know it was, but I suppose there was still some little part left in my brain that shamed me still for it. It's not something I've discussed with anyone for a very long time, not even my current counselor. The topic is so open here on it though, I've had a little more thought on it than usual. But it is a good thing

Thank you for putting it out in step by step answers Lady Lee.. and thank you all for being a good sounding board for further thoughts and decisions.

I have made the decision to contact this person.. I need to tell her I do forgive her.. but I also need to somehow find out if she continued on as an abuser. I really doubt she has, and, perhaps my speaking out will start the healing cycle in that family.

LOL.. have to laugh just now. I may yet become some family members biggest nightmare.. worse than they thought long ago.

LTF

Aroar.. you are so right in what you say.. this is my fear.. it is intergenerational.. and continues due to the silence. It is not just the worry of individuals abused.. but also the fact that they likely would find themselves with another abuser.. because they are still blinded to the sickness of it. And so the abuse continues..

I need to add here.. for myself.. having experienced abuse.. after I left my daughters father.. for incompatiblity reasons.. I stayed single a very long time for the main reason of being sure I did not chose someone who could be abusive to her. To be truely protective.. this was my only way of doing so. In some ways this was a good choice, but also in many ways.. it is a sad reason to stay alone.