Posts by freeman

29

Anybody seen a UFO?

by SpannerintheWorks in

jw
friends

the concept of life on other planets really fascinates me.

the thought of intelligent life even more so.

so, whenever i read headline.

freeman

Im not ready to go on Jerry Springer yet, but it is a fact that I had sex for the first time because of a UFO.

Yep its a fact.

I guess I was maybe 17 at the time and I was out on a date and the girl I was with spotted something in the clouds. I pulled over for a better look and now we both saw it. A slow moving round thing hovering and up quite high, obscured much of the time by the clouds. After a while we found the source of the UFOs power. It was a giant arc spotlight and generator aimed on a large tethered balloon floating in the clouds above us.

As it turns out, it was in fact an advertisement stunt done by a local car dealership. On the way back to drop my date off one thing led to another and well..., I was one happy camper.

So I dont want to hear anybody say anything bad about UFOs or the little green guys, they got me laid for the very first time. Sorry for being so crass, but how often do I get to tell this story. Just dont let my wife know because it wasnt her in the car.

Freeman

Edited by - freeman on 22 November 2002 11:57:5

18

Governing Body! Worshiped like Kings!

by Alligator Wisdom in

i can't get over the fact the the gb of the wt society are treated like kings.

aren't they supposed to be "one of the brethren"?

the wt always accuses others of being guilty of "idol" worship when it comes to people of fame (i.e.

freeman

True story illustrating the fact that the GB or at least some of them are indeed worshiped like kings.

Dateline 1977

I just got back from a tour of Bethel. Told a few folks how nice it was to meet and share lunch with brother Franz. Ears perked up, crowd gathered around and all of a sudden I was now the center of attention. What was he like? Could you sense the Holy Sprit when you were in his presence? Did he say anything about how much longer this system would go on? These were some of the questions that stood out in my mind.

As I talked about him, then they got the idea that the guy I met was RAY FRANZ not FRED FRANZ. Know what happened then? They turned away in disappointment and I was made to feel like a jerk.

Im not sure why the younger Franz was not as revered as the elder Franz, anyone know? It is my understanding that they were both GB members. Anyway the crowd walked away disappointed and I was made to feel like a jerk and if I had any sense about me, I should have left the cult right then and there.

Freeman

18

My Wedding Uninvitation

by LB in

jw
friends

well the lovely young sister let my wife know today that only she would be invited to her wedding.

i'm not in the least surprised.

i know she really likes me and that her first inclination was to have me attend regardless of my daing myself recently.

freeman

LB, You are total class all the way!

Freeman

13

Ultimate Conundrum Update

by SYN in

jw
friends

an update on my present situation with my dub friend!.

it's a bit of a pickle, to be honest.

he's a great guy, and his wife is a lovely girl, i just can't stand to break their bubble.. let me get you guys up to date with events that occurred recently twixt him & i.. we all spoke at a recent event at microsoft, and i pretty much had to coach him through all the things he would say, make sure he got it right.

freeman

SYN,

The greatest gift any person can give to another is life. Some do it through blood donations, or upon their own death by way of organ donations. Some do it by pushing someone out of the way of an impending disaster. Such people are heros.

You have a wonderful opportunity before you to give this person life. Yes a real life, just by sharing the truth about the truth with this person.

And you are obviously a good-hearted person just dying to do so. Please find the best way and the proper time and do so.

Freeman

Edited by - freeman on 22 November 2002 9:19:51

33

Fat people suing McDonalds

by Adam in

jw
friends

aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

fat people are suing mcdonalds because they ate fast food and, guess what?

they got fat!

freeman

IMHO this is the natural progression one should expect starting with the suing of the tobacco companies.

BIG TOBACCO Lawyer: Did you read the warnings clearly printed on the pack of cigarettes?

Poor hapless victim: Yes, but it should have been made more clear, and besides all the scientific data was not in until just recently.

BIG TOBACCO Lawyer: Did you ever hear of the term coffin nails applied to cigarettes?

Poor hapless victim: Sure, but what does that have to do with anything? I have cancer now? You cant expect me to take self-responsibility for my own actions now can you?

BIG TOBACCO Lawyer: The term has been around longer then you have been alive, let alone been the VICTIM of the big bad evil tobacco companies as you allege.

Judge to jury: How do you find? We find the big bad evil tobacco company guilty and we award the poor innocent victim $10,000,000.00

Judge: Next case on the docket, Chubby kid vs McDonald Inc.

Poor hapless victim: They forced me to eat their hamburgers and it made me fat.

McDonalds Lawyer: Forced you, you were held down and Ronald McDonald stuffed them down your throat?

Poor hapless victim: Well no, but they had real tricky advertisement and a really catchy jingle and all. And besides they tasted real good so I was forced to eat and eat, more and more. Im a victim of their additive fast-food, they got me hooked, and then they made me fat.

Judge: Ive heard enough; members of the jury have you reached a verdict?

Jury: You bet we have, we find Ronald McDonald guilty as hell and we award the poor little porky kid $20,000,000.00.

Judge: The plaintiff was only seeking $10,000,000.00, why are you awarding the hapless chubby victim so much more?

Jury: We figured we would just SUPERSIZE-IT!

Freeman

11

Jobs you couldn't have

by JH in

jw
friends

.

having a tight control over us, the watchtower teachings told us what jobs we could or couldn't have.

did you lose a great job opportunity because of their control over you?

freeman

Yes I twice lost excellent job opportunities at a time when I really could have used the money. But when it was going to happen yet a third time, something inside of me just screamed, NO NOT AGAIN!

I accepted the job and never regretted that decision.

But just to illustrate how deep the programming of my mind went, even after my act of rebellion against the elders, I still didnt join the company 401k for a number of years. I believed I would never have the chance to grow old and retire. What a jerk I was! It was a very expensive lesson to say the least.

Freeman

14

al-Qaida demands America convert to Islam

by Reborn2002 in

jw
friends

i found the article interesting and something which may trigger discussion.. why do i get the uneasy feeling something reminscent of 9/11 looms on the horizon?.

it is inevitable that al-qaida will again attack the united states.

it is also inevitable that eventually they will be successful in causing death on a massive scale (as this is their intent) much like they did when the world trade center and the pentagon was attacked.

freeman

I for one see no problem with converting to Islam. I believe this religion is as valid as the Christian / Judaic model so popular here in the west. But like all other religions I have encountered thus far, Islam falls when exposed to higher criticism. Also Mohameds luster diminishes considerably when certain aspects of his historical life are exposed.

So I guess if none of that is important to anyone and you can live with that, go for it.

Then again, there is the suggestion by Francois and Bhagavad above. That could work too.

Freeman

Edited by - freeman on 17 November 2002 6:2:43

11

The Advantages of Breast Milk

by Prisca in

apologies if this has already been posted, but i thought it was funny.

"the advantages of breast milk".

a not necessarily well-prepared student sat in his life science classroom, staring at a question on the final exam paper.

freeman

There are no advantages to breast milk when drinking it fragrantly violates Gods law against eating blood! Breast milk and for that matter even cows milk contains millions of white cells and white cells are on the list of prohibited major blood fractions.

Drink ye not thy milk, thus sayith the Lord!

Freeman

20

km 12/02: Don't send eMails to the GB !!!

by GermanXJW in

jw
friends

the german kingdom ministry for december 2002 contains an announcement not to send emails to the headquarters or to the gb.. do foreign editions contain this announcement as well?

freeman

I just sent the GB this e-mail:

"I talked to God today. Why can't I talk to you?"

Reply from GB: When you talk to us you ARE talking to God.

Freeman

3

BILL BOWEN IS ALIVE AND WELL

by SLOAN in

jw
friends

hate to disappoint some of you but my brother~in~law is just fine.. just wanted to clear that issue up.. also a word of caution to any caring and generous souls who may be tempted to send any donations to an e-mail that you might have recieved from someone claiming to be silentlambs.

it is not sl so please use caution and consider yourselves warned!!!!!!!!.

thank you for your attention on this matter.

freeman

I got e-mail from him not long ago so I knew it was likely a bunch of crap. A pretty sick joke if you ask me; but then maybe it was not meant as a joke.

Bill sure has made some enemies, and likely he was expecting such reprisals, however these are the acts of a coward and that is as far as they will go.

Bill has taken on he Tower in a manner that sends chills up and down my spine and envy to my bones when I think about the great mission he is on. It also sends chills to the boys in Tower HQ, and their loyal defenders.

How wonderful it is to see someone stand up and do the right thing no matter how much it personally cost him, and how much these chicken-shits must hate him for it.

We are all so very glad you are OK Bill.

Freeman