Posts by FriendlyFellaAL

You have got to be kidding me!?! I'd sure hate to go to the assembly and have one of the sessions ruined for me. Honestly, I've stayed away from all the convention spoiler sites this summer just so I could go into it fresh. LOL!

Brian

35

Titles please

by Lady Lee in

jw
friends

.

just wondered if anyone had a caption for this wt.

FriendlyFellaAL

This is in really poor taste, so I apologize in advance...honestly:

AMAZING NEW SYMBIOTIC RELATIONSHIP DISCOVERED BETWEEN SHARKS AND PARAPALEGIC JEHOVAHS-WITNESSES

Brian

19

Alternative lyrics to kingdom songs

by Matty in

have you ever sung alternative lyrics to kingdom songs during a meeting or a convention?

to qualify they have to sound very similar to the actual words so you can get away with it without too much attention being drawn to yourself.

here are three examples, i'm sure there are many more, so please feel free to add!.

FriendlyFellaAL

It used to conjure this image in my mind of people being suffocated with pillows outside of the temple. I couldn't understand why God would enjoy that, and if he did enjoy it what different methods of suffocation were there and which was HIS favorite?

Dobby,

You had me laughing so hard I nearly choked on my dinner! Every time I read that, it just gets funnier and funnier.

Great stuff guys...keep it coming.

Brian

16

Ned Flanders is a JW!

by Simon in

just watching the simpsons where homer gets his thumb cut off.

there is a scene where ned is reading a story to one of his kids:.

"so, harry and his friends go straight to hell for practising witchcraft".

FriendlyFellaAL

Here's some of my favorite Simpson's quotes regarding religion...

Rev. Lovejoy: This so-called "new religion" is nothing but a pack of weird rituals and chants, designed to take away the money of fools. Let us say the Lord's Prayer 40 times, but first, let's pass the collection plate!

Ned Flanders: Sorry to bother you, Reverend Lovejoy, but I'm kind of in a tizzy. My son Todd just told us he didn't want to eat his damn vegetables.
Rev. Lovejoy: Well, you know kids and vegetables. What was it? Asparagus?
Ned Flanders: No, no, Reverend. The point is, he said a bad word!
Rev. Lovejoy: Oh, oh, right, yeah. Well, kids usually pick these things up from someplace. Find out who's doing it and... direct them to the Bible.
Ned Flanders: Where in the Bible?
Rev. Lovejoy: Uh... page 900.

Ned Flanders: Let's thank the Lord for another beautiful day.
Superintendent Chalmers: "Thank the Lord"? That sounded like a prayer. A prayer in a public school! God has no place within these walls, just like facts don't have a place within an organized religion!

Brian

32

How Common is this amongst JW's?

by stevieb1 in

i found this material on a pro-jw newsletter, and i've had this personal experience myself and know many others who have also.

before i became a jw i experienced a tremendous amount of "love" from the congregation i associated with, but once baptized they leave and move on to the next potential convert.

as a single person, i was never invited out to gatherings very much and always felt a little left out in the very clique-ish congregation that i attended.

FriendlyFellaAL

If you're not in the right clique or group of people, it is very easy to "fall through the holes" and not be noticed.
This is especially true in larger congregations, in the cities, where there are more people to account for inside the congregation, and where life is busier.
But if you have a popular last name, or money, then you'll never be lonesome.

Unfortunately, I've also found this to be the case. My mother was basically a single parent in the eyes of the congregation as my father was an unbeliever. You would think that extra assistance would be offered, but for the most part we were shunned by the congregation. It's sad to think about the number of times we would all meet at the Hall for service on a Saturday morning only to have no one else assigned to go out with us. We'd usually put in a few minutes, grab a return visit or two and then head on back to the house.

Brian

3

The Radioactive Boy Scout

by VM44 in

jw
friends

this is an interesting story, published by harper's magazine in november 1998, about a boy scout who wanted to build a homemade breeder reator so he could get his atomic energy merit badge.

he obtained radium paint from some antique clocks, thorium from latern mantles, and americum from smoke detectors.

here are some excerpts from the article.. ignoring safety, david mixed his radium and americium with beryllium and aluminum, all of which he wrapped in aluminum foil, forming a makeshift reactor core.

FriendlyFellaAL

Fascinating article. Thanks for sharing that one, VM44!

Brian

20

Heat Advisory: Philadelphia Assembly Next Weekend

by Room 215 in

jw
friends

calling all dubbies in the middle atlantic states unlucky enough to have been assigned to the annual sauna in philly july 11-13.. as the u.s, northeast bakes in sweltering heat and debilitating humidity, what greater first-hand evidence can you find of bethel's callous indifference to your well-being than their persistence in scheduling these pointless hum-drum events in such a notorious blast-furnace environment as vets stadium, when just across the street, at the spectrum, and in countless other venues, air-conditioned auditoriums are readily available to them?

repeated, public warnings in the media of the health hazard to the very young and elderly posed by such conditions fall on deaf ears in brooklyn.

cancel?

FriendlyFellaAL

Reading of these experiences is so disturbing and clearly shows how much the powers that be actually care for the rank and file.

I remember several years before I stopped attending there seemed to be a problem preventing the use of the local auditorium for our district convention. Seems that some of the hotels in the area were refusing to give the ridiculously low rates that the Society wanted for hotel rooms. Glossing over the fact that the majority of the convention attendees resided in this area, they scheduled the convention almost 120 miles away. This ensured that almost every single person attending would now be staying in a hotel room compared to the possible 30% had the convention been held in the usual location. Their concern and care for the brothers and sisters during this time () was one of the final straws for me.

Brian

16

How to Ruin Your Family and Children

by metatron in

jw
friends

1. teach your children that everyone they know that isn't a witness.

- baby sitters, teachers, policemen, the kind old lady who gave.

them a dollar for ice cream - are wicked, led by satan and will.

FriendlyFellaAL

CLOSE EVERY DOOR - Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat

I&P,

That's a beautiful song and sadly, it sums up quite concisely the life of a JW child.

When I talk to my friends today about not celebrating birthdays and holidays, they always feel so sorry for me. I remember getting that kind of reaction from school kids when I was younger and back then I thought they were so deluded living from holiday to holiday. Now I am completely mortified by the reaction I had back then, actually feeling sorry for THEM because they weren't going to live forever in a blah, blah, blah...

Brian

22

American Idol, Who's watching?

by TheStar in

am i the only shmuck on this board watching this every week?

please say i'm not.

FriendlyFellaAL

I feel the same way about Justin. It does appear that he's got a great career ahead of him and is bound to be a success with the show or without it. Unfortunately, I missed the first five or six minutes of the show last night so I didn't get to see all the drama regarding the disqualified contestant. Ah, well...the ladies at the office filled me in today.

I completely understand about you not wanting to reveal who you voted for. I'm tempted to keep my decision to myself...not because it would reveal my location, but because I'm so embarassed about who I chose:

There was just something about his performance that caught my attention and I had to vote for him. He wasn't the best of the singers last night, but I liked his performance anyway. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for him.

Brian