Posts by yknot

i'l soon be 17, i'm an unbaptized publisher, but innactive (havent gone door to door)for more than a year, but still very strict with our organisation's standards (lyk no teenage dating).

yknot

Welcome to the forum Sister xtreemlyconfused17!

Glad you have joined and are willing to talk about things.

Yes education is paramount to your independence!

However until you can support yourself fully I strongly encourage you to be kind, patient, easygoing and tolerant of the believing JWs in your life. While tempting to tell all you have learned about the Organization, right now is not the time. The only thing you need to do is concentrate a safe passage into adulthood.

Hold off marriage and motherhood until you have completed school and had a few years in the workforce.

I know many on the forum will gladly share their knowledge, stories and publications in unveiling the lies of the Watchtower.

I also agree that PMs should be kept to a minimum due to appropriateness of your age. .....(yes I am a mom).

Huggles

66

Is my marriage worth saving?

by sacdfan in

long story - will make it short - i was a jw for 4 years.

hy husband took to it straigt away and has been a jw for 20 years - we were both converted by one of his workmates.

our 4 kids were all baptised jws and thankfully 3 escaped (2 disfellowshipped, one fading) - so my eldest son is still in with his dad.

yknot

My Dearest Sister,

Your mind and heart are racing.

Not a good time to make foolish decisions.

A) You will not move out, he will. (no excuses, he knew his financial situation when he started that affair....and he still chose to cheat on you! He is a grown man and it will do him good to be held fully accountable for his actions!)

B) God doesn't hate the legal act of divorce it is what leads up to the need for a divorce he hates...... (and this is all your husband's fault, not yours! So much more he could have done to convince you of his regret, repentance, love, dedication and wanting to be in a relationship with you!....cue taylor swift's 'Your're Not Sorry' song)

C) Yes you will accept the love of a good man who wants to build a life with you, you have so much love and goodness to offer that God doesn't want you to waste your life over your first husband's failings.

D) He isn't as 'dedicated or committed' as you think he is to the JWs! The JWs made him feel "special" and he is using that as an excuse to pursue his wants over that of yall's relationship. I want to remind you it didn't stop him from starting an affair, maintaining that affair and as you acknowledged the only reason he (at least on the surface) has ended it was not on moral grounds but because you found out and demanded he end things. As painful as it feels and hurts to realize......he will move on sexually from you too and probably within the first year if not sooner. A Brother who commits fornication in lieu of an departed spouse is forgiven faster then a Sister in most congregations.

E) Stages of Grief, learn them!

F) Be angry (yes I know it ain't lady like but it is important for you to acknowledge those justified feelings)

G) Let your 'church family' support and help you!

Breathe, this too shall pass.......

26

Can someone please help me?

by ruderedhead in

jw
friends

hello, i'm new to posting here, although i have been reading and gaining insight for quite a while.

thank you to all of you.. i wrote a letter of disassociation this week, and sent it to the local kh.

i have been faded for a number of years, and after much research, know that the witnesses do not have the truth.

yknot

Ya the Judge gig was a temp assignment...... no cases if I recall.

Piss poor lawyer if I you read through the 'railroaded' court hearing....

Ya you over played, got excited and flustered...... it is totally common, so is her reaction.

Allow time to chill, if you really want her in your life ........backtrack and ask for 'help' use only WT publications....

Huggles

66

Is my marriage worth saving?

by sacdfan in

long story - will make it short - i was a jw for 4 years.

hy husband took to it straigt away and has been a jw for 20 years - we were both converted by one of his workmates.

our 4 kids were all baptised jws and thankfully 3 escaped (2 disfellowshipped, one fading) - so my eldest son is still in with his dad.

yknot

My sister, no no and no

He isn't being a very 'good man' to you...... and this reflects the depth of his insides.

You are under his care and protection ......

He isn't caring or protecting you

He only seems to find ways to abandon you.

I don't think it is the JWs, it is him using the JWs as an enabler.

If he was a 'good JW' or 'good deep down' the affair wouldn't have happened/ continues to happen!

He isn't a man of conviction.......

I understand all too well searching, hoping and holding on to what you knew/had/loved/wanted.......but he has let you go in all ways but legally and financially.

This is when you must value yourself more than the value he has assigned you.

________________________________

Remember I said you had 2 voices at odds in your head ......the younger you who loves him beyond yourself and the older, wiser you that is screaming!

Well I think the older one posted this thread to allow the younger one to grieve, cry and profess love and the older one to tattle on what your husband is doing to that young, naieve and hopeful lass........confronting what you fear and already know, allowing for the start of a path that will find closure and strength through this heartbreaking loss.

YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN THIS!!!

25

Child preachers - I find this very disturbing

by freetosee in

jw
friends

i believe young children are often capable of much more then we imagine.

these preacher children are surly very talented.

as much as i find them ever so cute, i find it disturbing how their parents use them to further their own religious ambitions.. .

yknot

now now.....

on some levels children adore emulating adults.....

I loved every second I was on stage at the hall as a child......no regrets what so ever! LOVED IT

_________________________________

on the other hand going door to door giving presentations and being 'encouraged' to give a good witness at school......NAH PASS ON THAT

I remember reading Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farms and saying to myself......'grrr we (dubbiekids) were 'soap children'

D2D past the age of 5 is nothing but soap children (prior to 5 we having fun playing grown up!)

66

Is my marriage worth saving?

by sacdfan in

long story - will make it short - i was a jw for 4 years.

hy husband took to it straigt away and has been a jw for 20 years - we were both converted by one of his workmates.

our 4 kids were all baptised jws and thankfully 3 escaped (2 disfellowshipped, one fading) - so my eldest son is still in with his dad.

yknot

I still think we can salvage things as long as he stops listening to the WT and listens to me.

Okie Dokie....

This is where you are at present.

I can see no reason for him to consider your opinon if you aren't relevent to his spiritual life. Perhaps your best bet is to return to the KH by his side so that you have reason to study the WT and ask questions of his opinion and offer tidbits of 'troof about the truth'.

Bring up the college thing. For instance it was in 1941 that we started harping on college.....this was aimed at people who are now 85-95. Would a college education benefited them and the WTS, surely it would! Further the issue at hand in the 'Children' publication was evolution and later in the WT (Sept 1941) that Armageddon was 'months away'.

(if you find him sneaking off with her, yes you could leave him the lurch cuz he reaps what he sows!......and by skyping,emailing her like that he already left you in an emotional lurch)

Please consider looking into the 5-7 stages of grief........

36

Help: Been Disfellowshipped for 6 Days

by weskerbouts in

six days ago, on the 24th, the announcement was made.

the prior 3 weeks were an 'interesting' time after having come forward about my sin (problem).

(i have an addiction to pornography.

yknot

Glad you joined The SDA's are our distant cousins from Adventist Movement. So, you are a 'convert' Why and how did you come into the 'truth'? No, worries dear, you will kick your habit if you so desire (moderation) fastest way is by starting to date We all will happily dispel any beliefs in the GB as 'God's Channel' because it simply is a myth .... Huggles

66

Is my marriage worth saving?

by sacdfan in

long story - will make it short - i was a jw for 4 years.

hy husband took to it straigt away and has been a jw for 20 years - we were both converted by one of his workmates.

our 4 kids were all baptised jws and thankfully 3 escaped (2 disfellowshipped, one fading) - so my eldest son is still in with his dad.

yknot

okay so let me get this straight.....

You earn more, pay majority of the bills...

He been working toward degree for 3 yrs......almost graduating

Seeing girl on campus....

OH HELLLZ NO!

The evidence is there if you look for it..... GET TO A LAWYER STAT!!!!

(curious is she studying with a JW?...... have you verified those ' dubbie-jobs for kh, co, territory' cuz they perfect cover for unfaithfulness )

66

Is my marriage worth saving?

by sacdfan in

long story - will make it short - i was a jw for 4 years.

hy husband took to it straigt away and has been a jw for 20 years - we were both converted by one of his workmates.

our 4 kids were all baptised jws and thankfully 3 escaped (2 disfellowshipped, one fading) - so my eldest son is still in with his dad.

yknot

I understand.

You are waiting.

Waiting for him act like the guy you married.

Waiting for him to value you and yall's marriage.

Waiting for him to act as Head of Household and your protector.

Waiting for him to behave like the good Dubbie/Christian he professes to be.

Waiting

In this time of waiting however he has abandoned you on many levels even so far as to have an emotional affair. Was this an emotional affair one of the heart or one of distraction? Well he didn't file for divorce and run off with her so it is safe to assume he was using her as a distraction from dealing with his situation with you. That is WEAKNESS.

Millions of Dubbie and Non-Dubbie men manage to balance their lives and still have time for their wives. (Stick in the mud = just don't care to put the effort or make the priority)

I read your comments about a non-romantic love for him but your other comments betray your feelings of hurt by being rejected/ abandoned by him. Reading the Bible together means you want to rebond your connection with each other, not of a woman looking for justification to leave.

You still are in love with him on some level (probably that bright-eyed girl from 25 years ago still seeing the man who captured her heart). However the mature woman who is desperately trying to find reason and demanding validity is screaming at the top of her lungs inside of you.

Its over, it was over the minute he decided to stop valuing/loving you as his life partner. (Again weakness because he didn't own his decision/choice openly and honestly and doing the honorable thing and leaving you so that you could move forward with your life and closure)

This has nothing to do with what you did or didn't do, it is all on him.

Take time to grieve.

Console the younger voice that has longingly pined away for him for YEARS.

Take strength in the mature voice that whispers 'You are wothhy, You are an Amazing Person, You deserve to be in a relationship that not only allows for you to give all that love you have to share but receives the same in return from a man who thinks you are his lil piece of paradise on Earth!'........

Take time to plan, gather your resources.....leave on even footing so that you don't have to look back.

Sometimes it is through loss and heartbreak that we discover inner strength, beauty, freedom and happiness that can only be found with new experiences of a new life.

He is a coward unworthy of your love.

Huggles and Love my Sister