My parents were messed up on a whole different level. I simply had to move on, and years later, my dad is scattered in the Pacific Ocean, and my mom is in a pink box in our bedroom. I gave up a long time ago on them, but I concentrate on the wife and especially my 2 crazy kids.
Some day we will all know the truth. Unfortunately, no one has been able to give us a report on just how it is.
I think I will just worry about where we are at this point in time. Just love your mom while she is still here. I miss mine all the time.