Sorry to come off sounding harsh, I'm a bit hardened and cynical but it REALLY sounds like you're just setting yourself up for punishment.
Good luck in your endeavors and although I know you'll never truly give up those feelings of love for that girl, it's really for the best that you walk away.
marmot
JoinedPosts by marmot
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15
I am stupid...
by metaspy ini just thought i would give a little update on my fade.. for starters, i found a new job and will be starting soon.. secondly, i found the job far enough away that a move to a new apartment is necessary.. thus i have achieved two of the major parts of my fade at once.. i will not be working for a brother, nor renting from one.. .
however, another part of my fade is my wanting to get out zelda, the girl i have loved for quite some time.. recently she tried to commit suicide again.. i have gone to see her every day since she went into the hospital.. this is more than i can say of the brother she is courting.. .
her mother is df'd, we shall call her kairi.
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marmot
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Is it all just a 'Cosmic Crapshoot'?
by AK - Jeff infirst my faith in the wts went away.. later my faith in religion [for purposes other than fellowship] went away.
to date, my faith in the existence of the 'great cause' remains, but is tarnishing in some respects.
i have no clear picture of what we really are, where we are really going, and why we exist.
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marmot
I think the Epicureans had it right all along. The only thing we are certain of in life is death so we should live life to the fullest and try to be the best people we can be so that other people and our descendants can enjoy their lives fully as well.
Once we're dead we'll find out if there truly is another side to all of this, but it's useless arguing over something that no one has seen.
My philosophy is: be happy and don't interfere with the happiness of others. -
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I am stupid...
by metaspy ini just thought i would give a little update on my fade.. for starters, i found a new job and will be starting soon.. secondly, i found the job far enough away that a move to a new apartment is necessary.. thus i have achieved two of the major parts of my fade at once.. i will not be working for a brother, nor renting from one.. .
however, another part of my fade is my wanting to get out zelda, the girl i have loved for quite some time.. recently she tried to commit suicide again.. i have gone to see her every day since she went into the hospital.. this is more than i can say of the brother she is courting.. .
her mother is df'd, we shall call her kairi.
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marmot
Deal with it and move on. Does the girl even return your interest, given that you say she's already "courting" someone else?
Plus, the multiple suicide attempts and a potentially terrible future mother in law already opposed to you don't add up to a very rosy prospect for a stable relationship.
Sometimes we build things up to much in our minds so that we can't see reality. I broke my heart over a girl once and even though I still have the occasional nightmare, I can rationally look back and see how it would have never worked. -
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Genesis 11:6
by darth frosty inthere were some great comments from wtcomments on this weeks wt study.
but i found this subject very profound and wanted to get some more direct thoughts on this scripture.. .
jehovah said look!
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marmot
I don't read these accounts literally anymore. The flood of Noah's day was not global, Adam and Eve weren't the first humans, people did not speak Hebrew until magically scattering at the tower of Babel.
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OUTLAW`s New Vacuum Cleaner
by OUTLAW ini needed a new vacuum cleaner..so i did a bit of research and decided the "dyson" was the one for me..it is specially designed never to lose suction.it performs at 100% until you need to empty it..it uses no bags and never needs new filters...............it has a nice long hose on it for doing stairs..i used it to grab the dog`s ass..he liked it!..he thinks he has a new girl friend now and won`t leave the vacuum alone..so i put it in the closet..lol!
!...............it looks more like a hummer truck than a vacuum cleaner..and..it`s purple!..imagine that,a vacuum cleaner that sucks till it`s purple!..lol!
!...outlaw
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marmot
Rollerdave, that vac you posed is a copy of a Tristar (formerly called the Compact).
I sold Tristar last summer. It's a good design but they're overpriced. Incidentally, vacuum sales is very cult-like and we ripped on those Tristar imitators like JWs on Mormons.
A word of caution to anyone who has an in-home vacuum demonstration, always ask for %50 off the listed price right off the bat, if not more.
These things are marked up about %300 from the price the supplier pays. The price is also unrealistically padded so that the salesperson has room to wiggle without cutting into the company's profit. They'll usually negotiate down to %40 off the price because %40 is the salesperson's commission but there's even more padding in there. Big-shot closers sometimes even get %60 commission.
In theory, I could make over a thousand dollars in commission on a single sale if we did what they call a "full-up, full-up" deal, meaning that the buyer didn't haggle, paid cash, and bought all the accessories. Those were few and far between, though, and we usually had to settle for "lowboats" where we might only pocket $50, which didn't even provide a living wage after paying for gas and taxes.
My suggestion is to grind the company as hard as you can when the salesguy gets on the phone to his boss (this is a universal tactic they use to put pressure on the clients) but slip the salesguy a couple twenties after the deal is done. He might "forget" a few spare filters or something.
But in all honesty, aside from the durability factor these multi-thousand demo vacs are no better at getting the job done than a Wal-Mart special. The rest is all marketing. -
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WTBCS thinks single men must be perverts?
by hamsterbait inin the aid book, under "marriage" it says that marriage was the normal condition for jewish men.
singleness "required explanation" (no supporting scripture).
now in the new october asleep!
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marmot
If that's the case, what about Jesus, and all the apostles and Timothy for that matter.
No mention in there of anybody having wives. What was the "explanation" for all these single men in biblical times? -
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Untolerable, Unheard of and down right Unbelievable experiences
by REBORNAGAIN inhas anyone experienced something really outrageous among the jw's that you want to share?.
we once had a couple of jw's follow us (policeing us) as we were on our way to my (then, he's now my ex) husband's boss's home.
his boss wanted us over for an end of the year party and didn't consider it a christmas party because he knew we didn't celebrate christmas.
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marmot
My experience isn't as crazy as some on here, but it hurt a little because I think I might be "marked".
I work in a busy mall and I often see certain ones from the congregation and I'm always really friendly with everyone, and there's this one middle-aged sister who's (usually) very nice and says that she misses seeing me at meetings.
My fade's been going on since June now so I've missed a heckuva lot more meetings and I happened to see her again a few weeks ago. I smiled and said hi and she gave me a look like a dead fish and turned aside.
Kinda sucks that Witnesses will go out of their way to show "fruits of the spirit" towards people in field service, but that drops right off when they suspect you don't buy their ideology anymore.
I'm not angry or anything, just a bit sad. -
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Hanging out with JWs after you no longer believe
by B_Deserter init's starting to become harder and harder to hang out with witnesses.
all their talk about how evil the world is, etc.
i was at a gathering last night, and this older couple was their talking about how their granddaughter came back because she got a taste of how the world was, her so-called friends were freeloading off her and stealing her stuff.
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marmot
I find my fade has been going really well because I don't have any anger or ill-will towards anyone at the hall. I don't consider myself a member of the watchtower organization, but at the same time I don't begrudge others their beliefs.
If it's a comfort for them, let them have it. If they truly want to open their mind to something better then they will do it but I see it as counter-productive to try and forcefully dictate to them that they are wrong.
It would be nice if more JWs could have a tolerant attitude along these lines. You tend to be much happier. -
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You know that kinda gay guy in your old hall?
by changeling inyou know him, every hall has one.. he really knows fashion.
he hangs out with all the middle aged women at the hall.
his gait, voice and gestures are feminine.. if he were a "wordly" man he'd be a "flamer".. well, here's my question: is he or isn't he?
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marmot
I dunno, I've got an uncle who talks somewhat effeminately and is a professional hairdresser but he's straight as an arrow.
Some people just act funny. -
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The meeting tonight was UNBEARABLE
by Orgull ini had my tms tonight.
for those who don't know me, i no longer believe, but have only just begun my slow fade.. the meeting was unbearable.
first there was the brother who happily pointed out that i'd missed two meetings recently and that he was keeping track.
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marmot
I've been finding it harder and harder to go to the meetings. My fade seems to be accelerating in that I've been missing tons of meetings but the only ones who notice are my parents.
An elder called on me ONCE, but that was because my Mom had to go and ask him to. I feel kinda bad about it because I love my parents and I've got nothing against the people in the congregation, but I can't honestly engage in what I don't believe in anymore. Keeping it up for appearances is completely hypocritical, but that's what I'm (just barely) doing in order not to break my parent's hearts.
I've almost completely cut out the bookstudy, though, because I just can't stomach the wild interpretations and contrived "modern-day fulfillments" without my feelings showing outwardly. I just sit in the farthest corner and fight valiantly not to shake my head and roll my eyes.
Again, I have nothing against anyone in the congregation - I've never had a single "grudge" or feud or problem with anyone, unlike many here - so I feel really sad about doing this, but the other only option is lying to myself, which I cannot do.