Having an extensive electronics background, I have always dreamed of being assigned to the audio department at a circuit assembly or district convention. I would like to hack into the microphone system during the keynote address and then play stratigically timed fart sounds in the PA system. I think it would greatly improve the talk.
Dorktacular
JoinedPosts by Dorktacular
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17
Plan Early
by Mincan inso next seasons district convention i plan on doing something fun.
something that may make us all famous on youtube.. okay, i dress up as an ancient israelite (quick body robe + beard), and during the drama i run out with a megaphone shouting "no!
i am the faithful and discreet slave!
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What would you say to this........
by fifi40 inyesterday my friends 14 year old son died after a lenghty stay in hospital.
he had cystic fibrosis and in september caught an infection resulting in him spending pretty much the rest of his time in ic during which he suffered 2 heart attacks and was on life support and for the final few weeks has not been conscious due to medication.
sadly he lost his battle yesterday.. he was a little chap who i knew and was friends with my son from first day at primary school.
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Dorktacular
Honestly, this is what I think. Personally, if I knew someone who was suffering like that and I knew they were going to die a long, painful death, I would wish them a quick, painless death so they could be at peace and their suffering could end.
BUT I would NEVER say that to anyone because I know that can sound insensitive. That is something that I would keep to myself. When someone you know loses a loved one, you should offer your condolences and then listen to them. Allow them to grieve and help them in any way you can. Don't tell them how to feel. That's just common sense, no matter what religion you are.
Now, back to the comment that the dead 14 year old was better off dead because he had the resurrection hope...... BULLSHIT! Listen, if death were an easy way out, why don't all Jehovah's Witnesses commit mass suicide and simply wait for the resurrection? I mean, after all, the longer you're alive, the greater your chances of stumbling and sinning! More time on planet earth means more time to run afoul of the rules and regulations of the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society. Before they commit a sin worthy of being disfellowshipped, how much greater for them it would be to simply take a bullet to the head! By that logic, doctors who perform abortions should be saints because they allow the unborn to pass on without ever experiencing sin, guaranteeing them a successful resurection in the new system!!!!
Wow, did I go too far with that one? So, if I were confronted with some myrmidon (look that word up if you want an exact definition of a JW) who said something like that, I'd call them a heartless asshole and walk away.
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Have you ever forgotten your baby was in the car?
by changeling inwhat's up with this wave of people forgetting their babies are in the car?
i'm a certifiable dingbat but i never forgot my kids were in the car.
if i ever did, i can't see it happening for more than a few minutes and then running back to the car to get them.
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Dorktacular
I see people do stupid crap like this all the time. I see people run into stores and leave their kids in the car, sometimes with the engine running! In metro Atlanta, at least once a month we hear a news story of how some woman ran into a convenience store to buy beer, cigarettes, tampons, condoms, monistat 7 and some lottery tickets with her food stamps while leaving the kid in a running vehicle. Invariably, some illegal alien crackhead jumps behind the wheel, takes off without even knowing the kid is in the back and either abandons the car with the kid in it a few miles away, or throws the kid out of the car and drives off. It has happened enough times around here that everyone should be PARANOID about leaving ANYTHING in a car, much less your child! But, never underestimate the stupidity of the general public! We've had several children around here die from being left in hot cars. Hell, one mother left her kid in the car on purpose! She started a new job and didn't want to pay for a baby sitter, so she left the little girl in the car in the middle of summer, and the kid died in the parking deck of her new job!
For the first 5 years of my child's life, I was a single dad. I would never, ever, EVER leave my child alone anywhere for any length of time. When my daughter was a baby and we were taking trips out of state to see family, I would stop for gas only at places that had gas pumps that accepted credit cards, that way I wouldn't have to leave my daughter in the car by herself. Hell, I wouldn't even stop to pee because I didn't want to leave her alone while I used the rest room and I didn't want to drag her in a gas station men's room. Try driving for 11 hours without peeing! I think I tied my weiner in a knot that time!
The point is, a good parent can not and will not forget about their child. The child is the center of your universe. I think people that leave kids in cars unattended should die just like the the kid died. We should lock them in a hot car out in the hot sun and wait for them to die. We should all probably be in an air conditioned convenience store drinking an ice cold soda watching them as they die, too! Just my opinion.
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Am I Outta Line?
by ESTEE inthe dance studio where mr. estee and i have been attending has an out-of-balance ratio of women to men.any man.
another dance!
am i outta line?.
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Dorktacular
Hell, you're already making to poor guy dance..... Don't make life any more difficult for him! <Note to females.... we men only dance for your sake. If it was up to us, the only dancing available would be at places with stages and poles where scantily clad females accepted dollar bills from us.>
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JW's and their phantom hall on Dead Man's Curve
by Gopher inthe jw's planned a double-hall near a dangerous curve in the road.
the project was ill-conceived, and now they're publicly whining about not getting it approved anyway.
obviously jehovah did not bless their efforts to push for a kingdom hall on this site.. http://www.connpost.com/ci_7020724?source=rss.
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Dorktacular
They should build Kingdom Halls in the mall. That way they can do field service in the mall on Saturday.
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Re: Has the Watchtower ever officially TOLD THE TRUTH?
by avengers inthinking, thinking, thinking, thinking, thinking, thinking, thinking, thinking, thinking, thinking, ,,,,,,,.
can't find anything.
maybe you guys can.. andy.
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Dorktacular
The truth is that "Religion is a snare and a racket"
Also, the Awake! once had an article on how to keep apples fresh in the refrigerator by placing them in a brown paper bag. It's true. I tried it.
I always called it the Asleep! magazine because they were so boring. Besides that, I can't think of anything.
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Questiions that JW's can not answer
by TooBad TooSad ini was an elder for 10 years.
there were some questions that i was asked by the flock which.
i could not answer.
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Dorktacular
I think George Carlin has the answer for us. He said that many people assume that God can do anything. He proved that God can not do everything. Here's the proof as per George Carlin: "Is it possible for God to make a rock so big and so heavy that he can no longer move it?" See? I've been thinking about THAT question for 20 years! Well, can he or can't he? JWs can't answer that one.
Another question I've had since I was a kid.
I noticed that many of the JWs in my congregation only became JWs after they were adults. Most of them did any and everything in their youths that go against being religious or a JW. I've even known one that was a professional killer in his past life. (Seriously, I'm not making it up. He was for real!) But, when they became JWs, miraculously all was forgiven them and they were in good standing in the congregation. Yet, if one of us (like me) that was born in the truth and strictly adhered (or was made to adhere by parents) to the rules and regulations of the JWs all of their lives, how do ones like that get disfellowshipped for minor infractions? And, even if they are reinstated, they get treated like they have the plague, but yet these ones who did much more terrible things for the majority of their lives get treated like royalty just because they decided to sign up? Why does someone who spent their youth endulging in everything the world has to offer and never having to resist temptation get the same, or better, status than one who lived their entire lives as a JW? Basically, they got it all out of their system and lost the desire for life before they joined up, so temptation isn't such a big issue. Seriously, what does God think about that? It's kind of like the proverbial "death bed confession". Rather than living in a "godly" way their entire lives, they wait until the last part of their lives to get religion and try to redeem themselves. I just never got that. How does God view this arrangement?
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On the way back from the grocery store....afternoon chuckle!!
by sweetstuff inwe went shopping this afternoon, my two little girls and i, on the way home, they were both excitedly talking about halloween.
my youngest, who is seven, lets out this comment that nearly had me veering off the road with laughter.
she said, "i know what i want to be for halloween already, a jehovah's witness" well, i started to laugh right away, my eldest girl asked her why, she says, "they knock on people's door all the time and they are really scary".
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Dorktacular
When I was a JW as a kid, I always wondered why the witnesses didn't go door to door during Haloween. I figured that it was a good idea because it was the one time of the year that you could pretty much count on people answering the door! Hell, ya might even get some good candy, too!
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can you feel the love?
by bigdreaux intoday i was at the dealership.
i was standing next to the service department.
i struck up a conversation with an elderly guy standing there.
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Dorktacular
And what's wrong with a ford?I'm v happy with my new fiesta thanks!
Hell, you should have sold him a Ford Fiesta with Turbo! (Yes, there actually was such a car.) After all, with a car THAT cool, you'd wanna get there quick so everybody can see you when you pull up in it!
My dad and his new wife constantly hound me about Armageddon. They told us that they are going to be so happy playing with the animals and birds and they'll be perfect and that we'll all be dead, etc., etc., etc. I just look at my dad and say "Bullshit! You don't like animals! You never even let us have a dog when we were kids! The only way you'll be happy is if they have NASCAR in surround sound in the New System! Oh, and to listen to you talk, dad, you're already perfect, so you have nothing to look forward to!"
My dad was a mechanic and I grew up working with him in the shop. My "field service" car when I was a kid was a naaaaaaasty big-block Mopar with two doors. If anybody made the mistake of riding with me out in "service", I'd take them on a ride they'd never forget! I got tired of cleaning their shit stains out of my seats, though, so eventually only my friends went out with me. Mission accomplished! Can anybody say McDonalds?? I still have the car, but I dropped the field service. I think I made the right choice.
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Bill O'Reilly- Restaurant was nice, ''even though it's run by blacks''
by nvrgnbk inseptember 26, 2007 by faiz shakir, amanda terkel, satyam khanna, .
matt corley, ali frick, and jeremy richmond/div> o'reilly surprised restaurant was nice, 'even though it's run by blacks': fox news' bill o'reilly recently dined with the rev.
al sharpton at sylvia's, a famous african-american-owned restaurant in harlem.
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Dorktacular
I think the bigger question is why were Bill and Sharpton hanging out???
Burgertime, maybe bigots from different ends of the spectrum like to compare notes over dinner once in a while. I dunno. What's your guess?