I had an experience similar to that in some ways . I had just lost parents close together , no help from the local elders. I t was my problem so i managed, got through it.
Then the elders came around to counsel me and about my 4y old daugter smelling of urine!!
I said on a scale of 1-10 what you are worried about is 0, so unimportant. I had just lost both parents within 10 months.
They left me alone and i left them
David