I just had a hearing with the elders at my house last week. It did not go well because they are trained to not answer your questions and question your motive or outright assume you're being influenced by the internet/apostates.
I haven't had a chance to post up a full summary of what took place, but it was very revealing, at least to me.
I was prepared with a few quotes and scans of Watchtower magazines, but they didn't care. At one point in the conversation, I stated that IF Jehovah and Jesus picked the 'faithful slave' in 1919, then there would be ample evidence of it at least in the magazines of that year. I then stated that there was none, only that it was being taught that Russell was that 'slave'. One of the elders then stated (and I do not joke when I say this): "Well OK, so Jehovah didn't have a 'faithful slave' in 1919.. But the Bible clearly states that He would have one on earth, and that's at Matthew 24:45."
This elder, whether he realized it or not, just confirmed for me how blind they are. It doesn't matter what the Society says, said, or did, they are still blindly obedient. It doesn't even matter if the Society's history is accurate.
UFO1, if you make yourself sound sincere, then they won't immediately label you an apostate and continue with a good conversation. But, and I mean this with all due respect, what do you expect to get out of this by talking to the elders? If you make a stand, you risk losing your family.
You said:
I think if I did it this way by letting them come to me they can’t then say I’m attacking them.
Unfortunately your family may not see it this way. They may come to see you as the enemy, even though the elders are/will be pursuing you. The elders of my KH came after me (I haven't attended since 2007) and even after I told my mom this, she still thinks I need to be "humble" and "accept the discipline of Jehovah".