François,
You said :
These people proved that they are usually several notches above the average Borgite in intellectual capacity. They have sensitive bullshit detectors. They are independant thinkers in addition to being more intelligent than the cattle who stay in the Borg. . . . In short, the folk here represent a group of 'way above average people. I wouldn't want to take us on in any debate.
I disagree. I find it offensive to paint JWs as cattle of questionable intelligence. I think that coming out has less to do with intellectual capacity and more to do with emotional courage.
For the 20 years or so that I was one of Jehovah’s Witnesses, my I.Q. was the same as it is now. I could think logically about subjects other than religion. When I read your words, I think about my friends and family who are still Jehovah’s Witnesses. They are not any less intelligent than me. They simply have not been ready to wrestle with this very emotional and frightening issue of religion.
I can remember some times when I tried to think about my doubts. It wasn’t a lack of critical thinking skills that stopped me from drawing a logical conclusion--it was fear. My thinking went something like this: “But if that is true, then it means that there is a hole in my beliefs. If that hole cannot be explained, it means there may not be a paradise and that I’ve been heading down the wrong road for 15 years.” The horror of that idea would stop me in my mental tracks. I’d quickly reassure myself, “There must be some explanation. This has to be God’s organization because of the growth, the love, etc.” I’d bury the scary question as quickly as I could.
From what I’ve seen during my five years of hanging around ex-JWs on the internet, it is usually an emotional issue that first prompts a person to intellectually examine the JW dogma—being treated unfairly, noticing hypocrisy, running up against a wall of legalism when one expected love, kindness, and understanding. It seems to take some sort of emotional disillusionment for a person to find the courage to face the difficult questions.
I tread carefully around those who are still JWs because the relationship between the Society and its followers reminds me of a marriage. You may know that a husband is running around on his wife, lying and cheating, but you also know how difficult it is to break this news to the wife. She may not want to believe, may jump to the defense of her husband, may deny all the signs, and hate you for telling her.
I’ve also observed that when someone is in a bad relationship, it isn’t much help if I get angry for the person and say things like, “Yes, your husband is a no-good, lying SOB.” Again, the reaction is for the wife to come to the defense of her husband, “Yes, he has his faults, but . . .” In my experience, it is better to just listen or sometimes even to defend the husband. This allows the wife to express her own anger and tell about those instances in which she feels she’s been wronged.
And there are some people who, for whatever reasons, are not at a stage in their development to let go of an unhealthy and limiting relationship. While it troubles me to see them suffer, I know that I must be patient, wait until they’ve had enough, and be there to offer support when they're ready to leave.
How we help Jehovah’s Witnesses is a very personal matter. Some do it with humor, others with confrontation, others with information and publicity, others by offering their lives as an example of how to live a happy life free from the shackles of this religious mindset. However we choose to help, let’s not pat ourselves on the back as the intellectual elite and underestimate the intelligence of the average Jehovah’s Witness.
Ginny
