For me, I'm like a child. I want to know why, why, why!
If my superior at work says "We've promised to get a new product to our agents by May 15th, and here's what has to be done to meet the deadline", that would be a far more motivational way for the message to be delivered, than for someone to say "YOU MUST have this done by May 15th" (with the implication being, "or else you're a major failure in my book".)
If a person who is giving the urgent demands can explain WHY something is necessary, and what particular pressure THEY MAY BE UNDER to deliver a certain output by a certain time, then I as a subordinate would be far more understanding and even motivated to go "above and beyond" to help meet the demand.
The same ideas work, in principle, in family life -- although with children sometimes the main reason is "because I'm your parent". But there really are very good reasons "why" for most of the demands we may put upon our children. If we would only take a minute to think ahead and include a simple explanation of the "why", we may get the desired results in the family.
As for the congregation -- never mind, I won't be going to any congregations any time soon!
-J.R.
This post was not evaluated by any mental health professionals.
Any opinions expressed are those of a fuzzy, cuddly rodent.