Posts by AlyMC

58

Breastfeeding not allowed.

by The Scotsman in

jw
friends

shocker at the group last week..... i was at the group last week (1st in about 4 weeks) and the conductor (the p.o.

) takes a sister aside and tells her that she was not allowed to breastfeed her baby before or after the book study because "someone" found it awkward.. hmm, i wonder if it was him that found it awkward.. anyway the twist in the story is that the group meets at her house.

the sisters husband was far from happy but is to reserved to do anything about it.

AlyMC

I'd wait about 5 minutes into the study and just go up to my own room and enjoy my baby for the hour. Much more fun.

Really though, thinking back to when I was a believer I'd gather the watchtower articles & scriptures in support of breastfeeding (Isaac was, what, 5 at his weaning celebration?) and put a formal complaint in to the entire body of elders in writing. of course you have to word it as a meek, mild, sister who is really confused (insert rolling eye smiley) to be heard. I had an elder give me a lecture on spanking once (to which I'm opposed) and I did just that, and the rest of the elders basically told me that it was just his opinion and that he was speaking as any other brother and not an elder.

The worst thing they can do is move the bookstudy... and if they did I'd make sure everyone knew why. To be honest though, I'm not sure I'd want someone like that in my home anyway.

81

Marriage after Armageddon

by nemail in

i've been a jw all my life and am thoroughly convinced this is the truth.

but there is one thing that i just don't understand.

many jw's believe that people who get resurrected in the new system will not get married.

AlyMC

Hi nemail :)

I'm inactive. I've been out for about 4 years. Memorial 2004 was my last time in a hall.

The doctrine you bring up always confused me as well. Truthfully, I think it is nothing more than speculation... there isn't strong biblical support.

To answer your question, I think most of us here have lost a lot to the JW religion. Even though I'm not DF'd or DA'd I'm considered "bad association" and I'm ignored by most of our family and most of the people I grew up knowing. All but 3 of my friends. There is a huge, empty void in my past. Almost like it didn't really exist. My children lost grandparents, cousins, and aunties. I think you can credit scenarios like that, which are a dime a dozen here, for any bitterness you sense.

I personally don't seek out preaching to JW's because I believe that JW's should leave on their own terms when and if they want to. I don't believe it is right to stuff my opinions down anyone else's throat. So I come here and I talk to people who understand what it is like. I answer questions and relate to new ex-JW's who have sought this site out for support. I try to be kind and heartfelt to those who loose everything and everyone they have ever known. I am here to support others without condition, plainly.

So, I explained why I am here. You don't have to attack people for believing differently, nemail... I'll give you space to believe how you wish. I encourage you to do the same for me and the others on the board. If you want to talk rationally, ignore those who aren't having a rational discussion and discuss rationally with those who are. I would love to see more of you and engage in more conversations with you in the future.

45

Did Your Mom and Dad Tell You " I Love You " Growing Up - and as an Adult?

by flipper in

jw
friends

three simple but very powerful words .

my son and i working together last night on my jobs talked about this very subject.

i told him that although my witness mom was always affectionate , and tells me and my siblings she loves us , my elder father has only told me that he loves me once or twice , if that - my entire life.

AlyMC

For the person my Dad was at the time, and the struggles he had- he did a pretty good job telling us. The problem was that I didn't believe him for a long time.

Since my mom ran off when I was little I obviously don't ever remember hearing it from her. When I met her in my adult life it just wasn't a dynamic we reclaimed.

58

Are you happy with the name you were given at birth?

by Outaservice in

jw
friends

the bible attaches importance to your name.

if not, what would you like to change it to?

i always hated mine!

AlyMC

I didn't like it as a kid at ALL. I always wished to be called Summer... not sure why. As an adult, I've grown accustomed to it. I do still like my middle name better, but I learned as a kid you simply can't change it. lol.

Two of my kids love their names, but the one who is my mini me also dislikes hers. I suppose it is in our nature somehow not to like how someone else defines us. lol.

24

I was not prepared for the other side

by dazednotconfused in

jw
friends

friends:.

long time lurker, very occasional poster.

i have done the fade thing for 4 years now, and have not attended a meeting in over 2 years.

AlyMC

It isn't something I talk about often, but I started therapy with someone who had some focus in religion and cult topics right as I was leaving. It was one of the first things I did "outside" and while I am mentally conflicted over the whole therapy concept- it really really was wonderful for me. A key to breaking into the outside world. I went for about a year and have felt pretty well adapted since- with "those moment" just sprinkled in.

Good luck in your process and path, it really IS worth walking.

28

What was the "point of no return" for you?

by B_Deserter in

was there a point in leaving the organization where you did something that demonstrated that you had officially made your decision to leave?

for me, i think it's going to be when i vote in the general election this year.

it will be my first action in public against jw doctrine.

AlyMC

Celebrating- which included pictures of it on our family blog & photo album that family and non-family JW's had access to. I had come out to everyone, introduced my kids to a new life, and knew there was no going back.

41

Your Favorite Actors/ Actresses All Time - Serious or Comedy ?

by flipper in

jw
friends

folks - since we just had the academy awards figured i'd ask this question , what actors and actresses are your all-time favs ?

lots to pick from over the many years of hollywood motion pictures !

my picks are as follows - .

AlyMC

I have to agree about DiCaprio. I couldn't stand him years ago because girls ooh'd and ahh'd over him and he wasn't hot in my eyes. So I can rolled my eyes and considered him some pretty boy heart throb. Over time though he won me over. I still don't find him attractive at all, but he is an amazing actor who is very smart at choosing his roles.

119

Could U Please Cite Some Personal Interesting Observations About The Truth?

by minimus in

jw
friends

for anyone that looks at this thread, could you write something either profound or simply interesting so as to make the reader see the truth about "the truth"?

?

AlyMC

I have to disagree Lola, especially because so many of us were raised in it. You can not raise a child from birth saying "the sky is the color green" and not expect them to believe it, at least for a time. I don't put a lot of blame on people for growing up seeing truth in something and believing it... and I don't hold them individually accountable for holding beliefs that they were taught as fact. That said, I do think a time comes when you do become responsible as an individual for not facing the world and listening to varying messages and using your own logic and reasoning. if you spend your entirety covering your ears and screaming "no, the sky IS green!!!" then yeah, at that point I do put some of the weight on the individual.

119

Could U Please Cite Some Personal Interesting Observations About The Truth?

by minimus in

jw
friends

for anyone that looks at this thread, could you write something either profound or simply interesting so as to make the reader see the truth about "the truth"?

?

AlyMC

Some of the things that had the biggest impact on me then, wouldn't really be so now... because I've actually come to a place where I no longer believe in the bible. Back then, though... the biggest things were-

1-The fact that we were only allowed to use the NWT, without any secular affirmation of accuracy in translation. The truth can stand up to evaluation, period.

2-When you look at the organization on a whole, with the many rules and detailed limitations... Counting hours, ranking systems, rules, etc. Does that seem more like Jesus or the pharisees? Which should we want to be like? (honestly this can go for a whole lot of sects)

3-Prior to 1975 all of their literature spoke of itself as a prophet, the very "mouthpiece" of god. 1976 that changed to claiming they were not prophets and have at times had the wrong expectations. They were imperfect people. I verified this with my Watchtower CD**. When I was still a believer in the divinity of the bible that information balanced with Deut. 18:22 makes it clear that once someone has presumed to speak for God and it has not come true, they are are no prophet of God and you should have no fear of what they profess. It was really a big chunk of my feeling a relief and a lack of guilt for my choice to leave.

4-Colossians 2:16,17 and Romans 14:5,6 clearly state that people should continue to honor the days they felt compelled to without judgment. Even the days that revolve around a new moon phase, which is clearly pagan in origin. John 10:22 shows Jesus going to the Temple during the feast of the dedication. (Not exactly being "no part of this world" by JW standards.) Yet JW's would be DF'd and shunned for choosing to honor any days they felt compelled to... in opposition to the first two scriptures given.

**Watchtower 1959 January 15 pp.39-41, Watchtower 1964 June 15 pp.365-6, Watchtower 1972 April 1 p.197, Watchtower 1976 May 15 p.297, Reasoning From the Scriptures (1985, 1989) p.136

20

Shunned at the hall for not sticking to the program

by truthseeker in

jw
friends

our congregation likes bums on seats.. one sister recently said, "if you're not able to be regular for whatever reason, they treat you like you have leprosy.".

this is true in my case - i am an active fader - i haven't been out on service since last summer, i don't attend book studies but.

i am married and have to support my wife lest she get these pity looks from the friends.. elders and their wives ignore me - some even talk to my wife while i'm next to her but ignore me.. it's weird - i think maybe some resent my freedom from the program - the freedom to just turn up or leave half way through the talk.. i don't really deal with it - i don't know what to say.. .

AlyMC

I'm treated as DF'd by the brothers and sisters in the hall I left from and in the halls hundreds of miles away where our families go. The elders did know all my objections, but since I can play the "meek and mild" innocent role pretty darned good (after years of being raised a JW sister, it almost comes naturally) I was never DF'd. Never even had a JC about my disagreements. Then again, I only talked to the elders about it and left pretty fast afterwards. The memorial was the only meeting I made after that meeting with the elders and one "fringe family" who wouldn't be in on congregation gossip talked to me- but the rest of the hall looked away from me and it was obvious the gossip had spread.

After coming here and seeing elders at various steps of the process I'm actually all but convinced that one of the brothers who talked to me that day is a skeptic or maybe even apostate himself. He is way to smart, and he actually brought up the pyramid/origins of dates/false expectations of dates so I know he was really well read. I think it was the other elder's wife who spread the word so fast.

So yes, even though I wasn't DF'd I was shunned by the congregation at large.