I do not understand how anybody could go back, or stay in, and feel they were an honest person if they had examined the religion in any way.
How can you support a shedload of lies, and have any personal integrity? Now I know that many stay "for family reasons", and I am not having a go at you guys, do whatever it takes and what you think best. You are engaged in under-cover work of the finest order.
But for a person who is not trapped in a Catch22 situation, knows TTATT , and stays or goes back, they must be some kind of weirdo masochist with no integrity.