Posts by Quester55

31

I live in a JW apartment complex - does anyone else here also live in one?

by BonaFide in

jw
friends

how much longer are you going to stay there?

Quester55

I live in a complex like that and it is pure Hell!!! I came here after my divrce because of finances and at the time I was a faithful little witness. Now, I'm just staying here until I can get my degree, get a better paying job. Then I will complete my fade. I'm moving to the Inland Empire. Maybe Riverside, maybe somewhere else. But I am single and so I amwatched. My boyfriend is out of town right now on business and before that I would leave for some weekends away with him. I always said I was spending time with a girlfriend of mind who lived outside of the city. I don't know if anybody susects anything, but they cant prove nothing. Bottom line, it's no fun living here because the only thing one is supposed to want to do is...you guessed it...MEETINGS & FIELLD SERVICE and ocassionally go out to eat at some restaurant.

Quester55

24

My family wants me to see a Psychiatrist

by BonaFide in

so i have posted on here about my conversations with my family.

i toned it down a little when they got really upset, so many on this board told me to be careful.

but yesterday my sister called me.

Quester55

I have to agree with all the posters here, and I'll add one small bit of insight. Every single, solitary time I make myself go to a meeting, I come home and its all I can do to keep from bursting into tears in the parking lot. I feel SOOOOOOOOOOO depressed at the Kingdum Hall. When I stay away and especially spend time with my boyfriend I feel like a brand new woman! I am happy, I am light. I am free. Walking into a Kingdom Hall feels like walking into a prison where I am forced to sit and listen to nonstop putdowns of everything that makes like interesting and enjoyable. School is wrong. In my hall wanting to be married is wrong, having children is wrong, wanting a decent job is wrong, wanting to travel, to entertain to have a late-model car is all wrong, wrong, wrong. I'm so glad I'm in school. It won't be long til I get my degree and get the hell out of dodge!

Quester55

(The day I graduate,I'm signing my real name!) For right now I've got to be cool, do what I've gotta do til I can do what I want!

15

My daughter ask young Walmart cashier about shopping for college.....

by Thechickennest in

was in walmart a couple of weeks ago helping my daughter do some shopping for college supplies.

my daughter is very outgoing and outspoken.

it's going to be her first year of college.

Quester55

I don't personally have a problem with anyone working at Wal-mart, Trader Joes, or Bed, Bath and Beyond...IF that is what you truely want to do. What I feel badly about are the many bright, articulate young people who are encouraged to forego a college education and told that higher education is "wicked, evil, bad" What is wrong with being able to afford a decent apartment, reliable transportation, healthy food, and clothing?!? Why is everything normal seen as bad in the eyes of the Watchtower Society? One thing that comes to mind is that in University, one is required to exercise CRITICAL THINKING something the WTB&TS cannot afford for its members to do. The thinking person is a dangerous person, they ask questions, questions that the Society would rather not answer.

Quester55

22

Got My Nose Pierced

by Quester55 in

i've always wanted my nose pierced cause i think its so cute and sexy.

my boyfriend thinks so too.

so anyway, i got the piercing and went to the hall.

Quester55

That;s funny. You've already got two holes. LOL Yeah, I hear you. I appreciate the advice. The nose piercing is actually rather small, I have a tiny diamond that you have to look at me really close to see it. I do work in a preschool, and a lot of my children haven't noticed it. Some of my coworkers haven't noticed it. That;s the extent of any piercings I'm gonna do. Tongues, breasts and any other tender parts is strictly OFF LIMITS. I can't take pain. The tattoo I'm thinking about would be around my shoulder blade and would be a single rose, that's if I go through with it.

Thanks and everybody take care.

Quester55

22

Got My Nose Pierced

by Quester55 in

i've always wanted my nose pierced cause i think its so cute and sexy.

my boyfriend thinks so too.

so anyway, i got the piercing and went to the hall.

Quester55

I've always wanted my nose pierced cause I think its so cute and sexy. My boyfriend thinks so too. So anyway, I got the piercing and went to the hall. I get the feeling they know that I'm fading, but theres really nothing they can do about it. I go to the ocassional meeting, I even go out in street witnessing. Those old saved sisters look at me but don't say a word...I know they are talking among themselves about,"Look at the nose ring, thats so worldly! ETC...etc...etc..."

I'm happy. I have a companion, I'm in school working toward my degree and for the first time in nearly 2 decades I feel like I am in charge of my life. I'm thinking about getting a tattoo. Just want a rose or something on my shoulder, but...I don't like pain...Any advice?

Quester55

15

It's my birthday today!!!!!

by LunaFing in

today i turn 25!

my friends are throwing me a party.

this is the first time that anyone has thrown me a party.

Quester55

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEETHEART AND MAY YOU ENJOY MANY, MANY MORE!!!

13

How do I get past the fear?

by Quester55 in

i';ve been indoctrinated for a long time.

i have a residual fear that maybe, maybe, just maybe they (jw's) might be right.

but my logical mind says they are so far off into left.

Quester55

First off, thank you all so much. I do know that if I a ever gonna be a whole, totally functioning human being, I have got to get away from the JW's.
I did tear up my blood card, their policy makes absolutely no sense. You can take fractions, but you can't take whole...whats the ))*& difference?!?
And if we can take fractions, why can't we GIVE blood, We are like parasites!! Why don't we vote in elections?!? African Americans, women, and so many
others fought and oftimes died for the right to vote, something that JW's think nothing of giving up, Its wrong to go dancing, its wrong to visit with workmates unless
they are Witnesses, its wrong to have a boyfriend, its wrong to do anything that is fun and takes time away from "field-service". I wonder how many marriages and
relationships have been ruined because of field-service, and those endless meetings. How many relationships have been stopped and nipped in the bud because of
the endless rules and regulations for dating couples. In this day and age, I want to know I'm dealing with a REAL man!! What is a 50 year old gonna do with a chaperone?
I mean really!!

Quester

13

How do I get past the fear?

by Quester55 in

i';ve been indoctrinated for a long time.

i have a residual fear that maybe, maybe, just maybe they (jw's) might be right.

but my logical mind says they are so far off into left.

Quester55

I';ve been indoctrinated for a long time. I have a residual fear that maybe, maybe, just maybe they (JW's) might be right. But my logical mind says they are so far off into left
field that it ain't funny. This site has helped me tremendously, I have one foot out the door and the other is sliding toward the exit, but still, the brainwashing and the indoctrination
was ery thorough. They caught me at a vulnerable time in life, (my mother had died and my father was an alcoholic, I was the oldest of three and all the responsibility and problems
fell on my shoulders) I find that I no longer believe their doctrine, but my sister is still a very staunch and strict JW. I don't want to lose my sister, yet I don't want to remain in a
religion that no longer holds any meaning for me. What to do?

I appreciate this site so much, so many of you have been thorough this same problem and have come out victorious.

27

How big of an idiot are you really?

by donny in

sent: monday, april 21, 2008 11:04 pm.

to: reed, donny r.. subject: how big of an idiot are you really?.

from way back then.

Quester55

I've written a poem and I'd like you all to critique it.

CRISIS OF CONSCIENCE

What do you do when what you

Believe no longer lines up with what you see and the evidence

Can no longer be denied or supressed; but moves rather like

A tidal wave through a cardboard villiage.

I can never go back to what I once was...I can't unlearn the TRUTH...Especially

When it resonates in my mind...

You said this...but you're doing that - Truth?

Real TRUTH stands up under scrutiny.

Real TRUTH shines brightest in pitch blackness welcoming ALL with its beacon of

Enlightenment.

No. REAL TRUTH is not bogged down in endless details, but soars free,

Truth elevates, not deflates...

Truth educates, not denies knowledge...

Truth brings joy, not depression...

Truth embraces, not divides...

Well, what do you all think? I was just sitting around thinking about a lot of things lately, and this just kind'a popped into my head, I do my best writing either at the park or the beach.

Quester55

34

How do you start over again when marriage ends?

by Bubblie in

i have been married a long time over thirty years.

my husband says he wants doesn't want to be married anymore.

he left dubs before me.

Quester55

I can sooooooo relate. After nearly 20 years, (17 to be exact) my husband let me pack up our apartment, because we were moving to another apartment, and then told me that he didn't want to be married to me anymore. He said he didn't love me, wasn't attracted to me and furthermore didnt like me. Talk about my self esteem going south. You know what the "oh so righteous santified sisters told me? they said and I quote, " Well good! He was crazy anyway, I never liked him, now you'll have more time for meetings and field service!"

I'd had doubts for a long time, but after this, I think this is what really sent me over the edge. Meetings and field service. My heart is broken and they are worrying about meeting attendance and field service hours. Only one elder has been really cool. He even said that that kind of thinking was crazy. He told me to stopn talking to all those old women, and if I needed to talk, to call him! For a while I played it in all sincerity. I really thought that Jehovah would touch my husband's heart and bring him to his "senses", but that didn't happen. I am now legally divorced, financially troubled, and emotionally damaged. Alll this happened last year, (I won't give the exact month, in case some of the 'faithful' are looking at this site, shouldn't be, but you all know how they operate., What is it/ Theocratic warfare?) I wanted to die, I thought I'd lose my mind, in fact even now when the lonelinessn is too great, I beg God ton just let me die, but in His mercy, he always wakes me up in the morning. I'm grateful. I have met several people on line. I'm not ready to fall in love just yet, but Iong for a friend (male) to go places with, to just hang out with.

You hang in there honey. Right now, it feels like there is a hole where your heart should be, there is nothing joyful about life right now, but it will get better. If you need to, pm me, I don't know what YOU personally are going through, but I've been through the heartache myself and I can tell you, it will end. You will be lonely, just try to occupy yourself, find ways to fill the time. Don't turn to drink. I almost did. Thank God I was able to snap out of it in time.

Take care,

Q