Hi DonaLeigh and Welcome.
I'm sorry your wounds are so fresh. You have done a very courageous thing and are paying a heavy price with the loss of the association of your daughter. Believe it or not, the anger can be worked through in time. It has taken a long time for me but I've been able to make a lot of peace with it. (Some anger still leaks out when I read other people's stories of injustice though)
What you said is true. They have no mercy or compassion - no heart at all. I also long for christian love as described in the bible. So many of us were hoodwinked into believing that that was the place it would be found. I am new here too. And I've just decided to take my time. I don't need to have all the answers yet. But there will be plenty of help here when I really want to start asking some hard questions.
Your life is not ruined; it seems that way now. And they did take some of the best years of our lives. But sometimes losing everything makes us have the courage to do things we wouldn't otherwise ever have done, when there's nothing left to lose. I can truthfully say I've had the most love and the best time of my life these last several years I've been out. All that was missing was being lost spiritually, but since I found this board I'm starting to have hope for that again.
Please do share more of your story with us when you feel comfortable. We are going to be okay.