i am disfellowshipped, separated from my husband, and have been "lurking" for some time.
only because i was so unbelievably lonely for being disfellowshipped, i was missing my "friends" terribly, did i even bump into this site.
i googled "lonely and disfellowshipped" and a stream of experiences appeared on the screen.
Hi and welcome. Leaving JW is a life altering experience. We go through the stages of loss and grief. This is a great place to help work through it.
The internet is such a great tool. Not just because of this site but because a person can get answers that they need just by typing in "lonely and disfellowshipped".
my name is jack harper, tech49.
new here, been lurking for many months now.
a brief history:.
I highly recommend this account of how an awakened elder helped his family leave the organization. He tells how he encouraged critical thinking with his children, who I think would coorespond to the ages of your children. He had a plan like you do. I think the way he went about it is an intelligent and unselfish way to help a family. It gives them the opportunity to make the choice their own and that instills a great deal of respect for you and gives the children and wife the opportunity to respect theirselves and their choices. When we were going through our quick and harrowing exit I had contacted him and he spent a lot of time on the phone with me. It was too late to impliment the strategy he used though.
my name is jack harper, tech49.
new here, been lurking for many months now.
a brief history:.
welcome.
so my mom was telling me that my aunt is going to be hosting a gb member and wife, cos and do for dinner after their dc this summer.
i immediately blurt out, "that sounds stressful.
" which is met with dead silence.
yes I can think of something more stressfull. Having the co and wife stay at your house for 3 days of their week with the congregation.
Can't believe I survived that. NOT my idea.
i guess i'm a newbie.
i've been reading (lurking) for a looooonnnnnggggg time, but have finally joined and this is my first post.
my story is of course very similar to all the others.
welcome
as most of you know we got a very angry letter from our oldest son.
it hurt her very much.
i feel so bad for her because he attacked her for what i feel was very unfair.
Reopened Mind and Totally: This will pass and it will get better. I think your son is greiving too and he needs you to not break down. He needs you to take the punches. It hurts, I've been there and still am to an extent. It is getting better for me but I had to let him vent. Showing anger doesn't really come easily for him. As I have observed mother/son relationships I perceive that it works out best for the mother to step back. Usually as the dil enters the picture a power dynamic starts to occur. When a male son starts a family, no matter how wonderful the new wife might be and no matter how kind the mother of the son is, it still happens. I saw it with my mother and her mil who were not JW. It happened to me twice (my son is remarried) and I wasn't surprised. I was hoping it wouldn't but it did. Of course our leaving the bOrg caused it to escalate.
I think the best strategy is to get on with and enjoy your life. You know you did a good job. He knows you did a good job. Give him the space he needs to heal. Let him see that and let him see that you are okay taking his punches. This is not a time to cower, for long anyway. Accept that your relationship is going through some changes, this is probably the worst it is going to get.
From what I've read about you and your husband, you're doing all you can. You're doing everything right. That's all you can do. Your son and dil don't realize what a gift you are giving them. Stand tall and let them see you succeed. Keep showing them love at any opportunity, they need it but don't let their lack of appreciation get you down.
I wish you the very best and I know it's going to get better.
K
so this is a follow up to the thread started regarding the contact that some jw family members made through my aunt.
they wanted funds to put my grandmother (phylis) into an all inclusive old age home.
they wanted contributions from my aunt and mother.
Take a deep breath Lou Belle. You are the victor.
tantrums, occur frequently.
often after a little boy realizes.
that he won't get his way this time,.
I had the opportunity to meet this young lady a few years ago with the family at the Tahoe Apostafest. This young daugter impressed me then too. She is a lovely person, inside and out. She showed me some of her artwork which was very impressive.
Now I'm blown away again.
this is the first time i've commented on this site, but i do enjoy to come here just to help clarify myself in times of need, ie when those wretched teachings resurface.
a bit about myself.. i was born in 1970 into the wonderful happy organisation (lol) and had a unremarkable childhood or so i thought (apart from being abused by an ms), all i can remember is being terrified of dying at armageddon.
attending 5 meetings a week and being used to preach as people wont shout at a child, studying the literature, not being able to watch popular tv shows, no xmas, birthdays the usual shit.. fast forward to age 16 and i fell in love with a worldly girl (the horror) and got her pregnant, my parents were devasted talking all the time how people in the borg would view them, nothing about what i was going thru, 16 and becoming a father, quite a big thing to me.
Another testimony to the resiliency of the human spirit. Thank you.
Only a cultist would drop there kid off in the street.
when i got home today from work my wife showed me a 5 page letter from our oldest son.
he basically said he does not what anything to do with us because of all the wrong things we did as parents to him and his brother.
he blames us for not being there for him and we are toxic parents.
sh-h don't tell Simon...but i sent your wife a pm
