Posts by milligal

5

who is worst, witness father or worldly mother

by Hexie in

jw
friends

i'd like to introduce myself first.....im from south africa,i"ve been a member for a while but this is the first time im posting.all i can say is ,whenever i read through these posts, i get mad ,sad and i laugh.. i am not a witness but ive got this "thing" against jw religion, because they''ve turned my brother into a monster zombie 6 years ago.damn,... if i only knew then what i know now,i would have been able to save him.lol.

he has two sons 8 and12yrs, and i can see how these children are being brainwashed.the older one loves playing soccer and asked if he could join a club, but his dad told him he will get into fights etc.

and how will jehova feel about that.i have a lot of opportunity to "unbrainwash" them but im wondering if i should wait till they a little older.his worldly wife is litteraly a wordly person...what i mean by that is, my brother works at sea and and when he is away ,she will hit those kids to go to meetings,because in her own words......if i want a nice life and and nice thing ,i have to do what your dad wants ...even though she doesnt care about the religion, wich in my eyes is probably worst than a witness.. how can i help them without cousing confusion?.

milligal

I would tread lightly with your JW brother. If he starts feeling as though you are threatening his witness beliefs he will likely cut you off and forbid his family from associating with you. Instead of challenging the belief system or speaking against it, maybe you could speak positively about the things that you cherish and are 'normal'.

Maybe just invite your nephew to attend a soccer game with you while his dad is away, act innocent about it; you'll give your nephew a lot to think about. I agree with Ynot, when dad is away ask your sister-in-law if you can take the children for a morning. She would probably love some free time.

43

I like watching death.............

by zeroday in

jw
friends

i will not provide links but i love death videos....just google death videos...they are aplenty...i believe they are my final exit in some way...many have died and i will also but they have already died and i am alive....don't bother i know i am sick............

milligal

I'm not one to judge mental health, but I would have to respond that:

a) you are posting on a public forum that you like to watch death, are you trying to shock us?

b) what is your motive, to promote death watching? are you trying to find others who are tickled to see someone take their last breath?

Please forgive my sarcasm. I do understand that death is interesting and if no one wanted to see a dead person we would have no doctors....have you ever thought about the medical profession

28

The lengths a closed mind will go to.

by dietequiladie in

jw
friends

check this out.

this is what we're up against.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/richpub/syltguides/fullview/1kiruj6v7sb8n/ref=cm_syt_dtpa_f_1_rdsssl0?pf_rd_p=253457301&pf_rd_s=sylt-center&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_i=0941813053&pf_rd_m=atvpdkikx0der&pf_rd_r=0r7kvqvgpv0ddbnzn1hb.

milligal

My first thought is that he/she can't spell, looks like avoiding college is biting them in the ass.

My second thought is: "out in the open?" I haven't seen any JW's at my rotary meeting, kiwanis club, women's resource center.....you don't see them at school functions or fundraisers, where are they when there is a community drive for a family in need? In fact THE ONLY time you see them out in the open is when they are trying to sell their religious ideas or promote their selfish causes..

This crap just makes me want to hurl. This person has quoted all the reasoning from the scripture responses verbatum. Get a mind of your own!

19

yearly shepherding call from the elders

by milligal in

jw
friends

for all those df'd people out there, you know the rumor about the annual encouraging call we are supposed to get?

well my df'd sister and i were talking and we had a couple thoughts over this.

our brother-in-law is an elder-of the regional building committee type.

milligal

I downloaded the elder's handbook and letters from the governing body from 1975 through 199? (I think this was from Ynot but my messages don't go back far enough to remember who gave me the link....sorry! bad memory) and I read that the committee who df's someone makes a written report of the meeting, puts it in a sealed envelope and writes on the outside if the offender is not worthy of shepherding calls. If not, the other elders do not question it they base their decision not to encourage on the decision of those who were present at the disfellowshipping.

I am pretty convinced that I am not worthy (according to the borg). I have never made an attempt to go back, haven't attended one meeting and put up christamas lights the year after I was kicked out.

Why don't they make this practice known? Why string along someone like my mother?

19

yearly shepherding call from the elders

by milligal in

jw
friends

for all those df'd people out there, you know the rumor about the annual encouraging call we are supposed to get?

well my df'd sister and i were talking and we had a couple thoughts over this.

our brother-in-law is an elder-of the regional building committee type.

milligal

For all those df'd people out there, you know the rumor about the annual encouraging call we are supposed to get? Well my df'd sister and I were talking and we had a couple thoughts over this. Our brother-in-law is an elder-of the regional building committee type. When my mother got ill last year and called the family together he was 'supposed' to give my sister and I our encouraging visit. However he got called away just before we arrived so he couldn't encourage us (hmmm... coincidence?).

What I think REALLY happened is that I am marked (you know according to the elders handbook) as unworthy for a shepherding call. Since he goes to the congregation I got df'd from he would know that. My JW mom has been nagging the elders to encourage me but they never show up (haven't seen them in almost 8 years). Why don't they grow a pair and tell my mother this so she can let it go already?

My sister also raised the question: What if WE wanted to have a little sit down chat with them once a year? Are they going to sit there respectfully and quietly and listen to what we have to say? How arrogant of them to think that they can command our attention on their whim in the first place.

Has anyone out there actually RECEIVED a shepherding call since they have been df'd? If so, what was it like? If not, why do you think you haven't?

23

Do you take Responsibility

by kerj2leev in

jw
friends

usually the one that doesnt want to be friends anymore wont recognize his/her part in the failure.. in jg wifes thread about being friends with your ex the above comment was made.

in failed relationships it's usually both parties that share the blame.. in the past three years since my divorce i have come to except my part in the break-up of our marriage.

i have identified areas that i need to work on to be in a healthy relationship.

milligal

Some situations need a hero. Unlike some others on this thread I don't take responsibility for my marriage failing, my ex beat me over things like the electric bill being too high and stepping on the brakes too many times while I was driving. One time I got beat for not emptying the garbage. I prayed everyday to Jehovah to help me love him and be a better wife. We were both pioneering and he was a MS.

ANYWAY even though I know now, he has some issues with anxiety, depression and most likely a mild form of autism I have gotten past the anger I felt for him. I treat our relationship like a business relationship because we have a son together. I never speak ill of my ex and I try to work with him in how he treats our son.

There is no winning as some have already said in placing blame. Someone has to take the high road. I live my life towards the end of helping my son get what he needs and if that means I have to bite the bullet and have a peaceful co-parenting relationship, then so be it.

37

NECESSARY LOSSES

by compound complex in

jw
friends

the loves, illusions, dependencies and impossible expectations that all of us have to give up in order to grow.

judith viorst.

in the first chapter, the high cost of separation, viorst discusses our absolute need for a mother in our early years, and what a challenge it is for children to become distinct individuals, separate from their mothers.

milligal

Thanks for the thought provoking thread!

I just wanted to add one little last thought: we have all gone through so much (the people on this forum) I think we put our experiences into terms that we can understand and come to peace with.

I defeinitely agree that how many of us were raised contributes to how hard it is to get on with things, but I hope that the message is heard that what has happened to us does not HAVE to define us. We have the ability to move beyond it even if it is very challenging. Best wishes everyone.

37

NECESSARY LOSSES

by compound complex in

jw
friends

the loves, illusions, dependencies and impossible expectations that all of us have to give up in order to grow.

judith viorst.

in the first chapter, the high cost of separation, viorst discusses our absolute need for a mother in our early years, and what a challenge it is for children to become distinct individuals, separate from their mothers.

milligal

Primatedave-feral children are denied not only an emotional attachment with a parent, but emtotional attachments with anyone. They are denied physical nutrition, sun, and many times are sexually or physically abused in addition. They are treated like non-humans. They're sad outcome (usually death at an early age) cannot be solely contributed to denial of nurturing in the sense of a good parental relationship-rather brain function slows down and development slows down because they are not given the physical and mental needs. So, it's like saying that a person dying because they are starved to death is equatable to a person dying because they were beat as a child, but otherwise had a normal environment. These are different issues, "environment" cannot be tagged to physical needs not being met (causing trauma) AND emotional needs not being met (causing trauma).

Compound-Actually psychology is a science, supported by evidence from both studies and physical outcome-CLINICAL psychology is not an exact science. There is a known gap between the science of psychology and the practice of it; for instance there was a study done by two psychologists on the outcome of childhood sexual abuse (I'm in a hurry to type this-will find it for you though) the factual outcome of the majority of children studied showed that people can and mostly do recover and go on to lead normal lives after sexual abuse. The study was so politically and socially incorrect, the two scientists were virtually flogged for stating the outcome. A clinical psychologist may know that a person can recover from sexual abuse, but their practice of psychology allows them subjective and discriminatory use of their skills to help a person reach their own goals......SO : ) I disagree, I see psychology as a provable science no less removed than medical science.

11

The Two Greatest Commandments and Free Will???

by Blueblades in

jw
friends

when those who wrote the scriptures command the readers and or believers to obey by command the two greatest commandments.

you must love god, you must love your neighbor, etc.

are the writers of scripture understanding what the true meaning of free will is?.

milligal

I agree that free will is described in the Bible as the freedom to make your own choice and not be a robot thus "God loves a cheerful giver". How can you be cheerful and do something that goes against every fber of what you think is right? For instance, you are supposed to forgive your enemies, what if one of your enemies is a drunk driver who is responsible for the death of your spose or child. Do you really have to forgive that person or suffer the wrath of God?

You are right, the Bible talks out of both sides of "it's" mouth. On the one hand, be cheerful, on the other hand, do exactly as you are told. The two concepts DO NOT go together. Now, if you are agreeing to enter into a social contract for the sake of a greater good, and promise not to go out and murder the person who committed this crime....well that is a different thing than forgiveness. Still a good thing, but that is not how the Bible addresses the issue.

37

NECESSARY LOSSES

by compound complex in

jw
friends

the loves, illusions, dependencies and impossible expectations that all of us have to give up in order to grow.

judith viorst.

in the first chapter, the high cost of separation, viorst discusses our absolute need for a mother in our early years, and what a challenge it is for children to become distinct individuals, separate from their mothers.

milligal

My humble opinion is based on my psychology major and studying abnormal psychology. While I'm no expert on this subject (although I hope someday to be able to say that I am : ) the topic of nature vs. nuture comes up when you are comparing notes on how people react to bad situations, including be abandoned by a parent.

My point is simply that no matter what the author is projecting, and I'm sure she has a point, I was trained to challenge the idea that "nurture" or environment has more to do with a person's ability to cope or outcome in life than "nature" -a perspn's biological predisposition to be able to handle trauma.

In other words, your life has less to do with what has happened to you, and more to do with your interpretation and reaction to what has happened to you. Does that make sense? I find this interesting...