milligal

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Posts by milligal

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  7

  When witness familly members are difficult or abusive...feel free to vent

  by milligal in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i wanted to open this thread for discussion after reading some other posts which sound very similar to my own situation.

  i wondered if anyone would like to share suggestions, vent and get it off their chest or respond to my own issue.. in my case, my parents are jw and are relatively easy to deal with outside of the fact that they seek me out and ultimately want to save my soul (an uneven relationship).

  however my husbands parents-his mother in particular, is a pill!

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  milligal

  Ima-

  I agree with you. One of my social psychology professor's once told me that when you have a group of people who think they are completely right while thinking that everyone else is completely wrong-you have a social problem. I was surprised to find out that many social scientists actually look at witnesses as being on the lowest rung of our society because of the same reasons you raised. They simply do not add much to the promotion of the greater good-even if they define their ministry as doing such, no one else does. I will try to share this way of thinking about it with my husband.

  By the way does anyone know how to respond to specific posts? I feel like such an idiot, I can't figure it out! My last post was to jamie. Thanks
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  7

  When witness familly members are difficult or abusive...feel free to vent

  by milligal in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i wanted to open this thread for discussion after reading some other posts which sound very similar to my own situation.

  i wondered if anyone would like to share suggestions, vent and get it off their chest or respond to my own issue.. in my case, my parents are jw and are relatively easy to deal with outside of the fact that they seek me out and ultimately want to save my soul (an uneven relationship).

  however my husbands parents-his mother in particular, is a pill!

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  milligal

  You're post was helpful anyway! Thanks
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  7

  When witness familly members are difficult or abusive...feel free to vent

  by milligal in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i wanted to open this thread for discussion after reading some other posts which sound very similar to my own situation.

  i wondered if anyone would like to share suggestions, vent and get it off their chest or respond to my own issue.. in my case, my parents are jw and are relatively easy to deal with outside of the fact that they seek me out and ultimately want to save my soul (an uneven relationship).

  however my husbands parents-his mother in particular, is a pill!

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  milligal

  I wanted to open this thread for discussion after reading some other posts which sound very similar to my own situation. I wondered if anyone would like to share suggestions, vent and get it off their chest or respond to my own issue.

  In my case, my parents are JW and are relatively easy to deal with outside of the fact that they seek me out and ultimately want to save my soul (an uneven relationship). However my husbands parents-his mother in particular, is a pill! She is so mean to my husband and myself and then feels offended that I don't want my children around her. I have a hard time knowing how my husband feels because his family is almost 150% out of his life. They never call or write unless THEY need something. Even before and during his deployment to Iraq-not a word. They will on occassion send messages to us through other people which are rude, insulting and demeaning to put it lightly. I at least have communication with my parents and a brother and sister who are also df'd. I don't always know what my husband is going through not having anyone. Has anyone else gone through this? Suggestions?
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  23

  The problems with my JW family

  by Ima Apostate in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  this may be a rare thing on this board, don't know, because this is my first post, but i was raised jw and officially 'checked out', in my own mind, at 14 or so, because it just didn't make sense that god would destroy so many good people who are wholeheartedly trying their best to please him and worship him in truth.

  i actually did not pray or give god a passing thought for 12 years or so because the god i had been raised to know was no one i wanted to worship.

  but here in the past year something brought me around to him.

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  milligal

  So sorry for your bad experience. My father an elder of 17 years reacted similarly to my older sister's being raped and a fellow witness woman who was raped as well. Both times he blamed the woman for the abuse. It's unfortunate and not uncommon-you're not alone.

  I am going through many simialr issues as you. In fact I'm posting a new thread topic under dealing with abusive JW parents-I hope to hear from you on it.

  P.S.

  I'm new too, but welcome anyway...
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  39

  Text Message I Just Received From An Old Witness Friend

  by str8?so is spaghetti..until you heat it up in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  this is a text message i just received from a guy who was in my old congregation.

  (ps, no there was no shenanigans going on there, i wasn't interested in this guy in that way...even though he was possibly the best friend i had ever had within jws).. "hi rob.

  please come back to the truth.

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  milligal

  You know when I was 'on my way out' I had several friends apear, that I had not hung out with in a long while. I later found out it was at the prodding of my witness sister that they were trying to 'encourage' me. Of course once I was df'd I never heard from these friends again. Just something to think about....
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  56

  What's the BEST thing about being "out" of the "truth"?

  by B_Deserter in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  for me, it's having friends that i don't have to hide my lack of meeting attendance/service from.

  it's amazing how they teach you that only jws can be your real friends, but in reality, it's all contingent upon your religious "performance.

  " sure, if you're not going to meetings, they'll try to be "friends," by encouraging you to go back.

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  milligal

  FREEDOM-being able to do want I want without an amazing guilt trip that keeps me awake at nights.

  Here's the nasty truth about me: I like to drink, I am happy that I slept with my husband before I married him (everything works in that dept.), I would like to someday hold an office that would require people to vote for me, I enjoy spending time on things I llike instead of constant worship to god and I will never walk out a movie baring titty's again-and I will teach my children every one of these naughty tricks.

  I like that I am myself and I am happy now. I highly reccomend it to anyone thinking about making the change.
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  119

  What Its Like To Be A Gay Ex JW....

  by str8?so is spaghetti..until you heat it up in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i guess its time to throw my little story out there.

  i keep reading everyones stories and thinking how brave you have all been, coming out of the organisation and facing all the repercussions of doing so.. .

  i only last august disassociated myself.

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  milligal

  I always miss the exciting first page of a thread!

  Here's my two cents....finally. As shocking as this may sound: I wish I was gay. I cannot understand how men and women cohabitate. At least my experiences with men, including my hubby-whom I love, drive me crazy. But I do like men 'in that way' even though there are plenty of days I wish I didn't.

  With that being said, my feelings are that gay rights will catch up with the civil rights of African Americans, women, and pregnant women. It's coming, everyone so hang in there. I am a big proponent of gay rights and feel that sexuality should not in any way define a person's skill level or for that matter-humanity. I'll defend that to the death.

  As far as the Bible goes, if I subjected myself to the 'word' I would be participating in stonings, shunnings, women subjecting themselves to men, righteous men using prostitutes-concubines and oh have I forgotten...more than one wife. The bible of all books clearly outlines the sexual evolution of mankind.

  My favorite point to JW's: if man was once allowed to have more than one wife to 'fill the earth' (as their reasoning goes) than homosexuality should make perefect sense now that the earth is filled and we no longer need to reproduce. Let's show some consistency. If sexual moral laws were based upon a need for procreation back then, why not now?
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  11

  question....being hounded by some 'gifts in men'

  by Brother Gallagher in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  im being hounded by elders intent on having a judicial hearing with me.

  im recently separated, (i left my spouse) and i believe they are after me to df me for adultery as ive taken up with someone else.

  i havent returned their calls, (they've been coming the last 2 weeks or so)

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  milligal

  Sorry about your situation.

  Did I mention I was df'd in a grocery store parking lot? Yes, sorry to say the elders will most likely keep hounding, and following you. Sometimes they will let it go when you haven't been to meetings in a long time, but not if there's a JW ex still active and sqwaking about the situation.

  I cannot give any advice on this, all I can say is that even though I resisted getting df''d it was good for me in many ways-and a relief not to have an entire congregation of people breathing down my kneck. Best wishes.
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  17

  An interesting discussion with my wife

  by 10p in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  last night i had an interesting talk with my wife in bed.. oprah had a show on recently about gays.

  now i don't normally watch oprah, but she was watching a taped one in the evening, so i was just overhearing stuff.

  anyway, i think my wife puts more faith in oprah than in the gb :).

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  milligal

  About the bitterness...I just wanted to add that although new here, and getting all my bitterness out : ) I have to say that I respect anyone who can get on with things but I know the pain of those who can't. In the case of those with JW ex's and children involved or JW family members you are kind of tied to the religion.

  I went to a therapist who tried to teach me about getting over the past, I told her 'I have gotten over the past, it's the new things that keep popping up everyday that bring back my anger, I have to deal with it all over again'. I've gotten over the 7 year custody battle for my son, and I've gotten over having to give him to his JW father because I ran out of money to keep fighting, but then when my ex took me to court so he could have my parenting time for a summer convention-I got angry again!

  I guess I'm bitter on and off too, and I don't ever hope to magically awake one day and have it be all better-at least not before my son turns 18. So to those of you still bitter you can complain to me any time...I understand.
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  51

  I think I just need to tell the story to someone who will get it?

  by aimless in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  hi everyone, im new.

  i've been feeling a burden on myself for the years that i have been out and i just don't know how to ease it.

  i can't talk about the organization or the people in it to anyone... if i try i immediately feel sick and want to close up and just disappear.

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  milligal

  I'm new here too-I don't know if you're still reading these, you have a ton of replies!

  I just wanted to add that I disagree about college being useless, it's not just about getting a job. It's about opening your mind to the way the rest of the world functions- which JW's never teach you, since you are supposed to be 'no part of the world'. College broadens your ability to think through problems and even think through want you want from life. You may not even now about the direction you want your life to go in yet, because like me, you may have been sheltered from what the world has to offer.

  I would strongly encourage you to go to college-even if you just start off with a basic degree or a class in an area you are interested in. It can give you positive things to think about, and you will meet other people who are also still looking for direction, but who are willing to take that first step.

  I am acheiving my second degree next year, I went back to school after after being raised as a witness and being df'd (5 years as a regular pioneer). It was the best choice I ever made.