Posts by milligal

15

I'm Ready To Confront My Dad - I'd Like Some Feedback...

by cognac in

jw
friends

for those of you that don't know... dad thought i was an apostate, ww3 was started, elders were involved, bla, bla bla.

i didn't speak to him for 1 1/2 months because i was hurt in the way in which he treated me.. now, i'm ready to deal with what happened and actually talk to him about it... this is about what i want to get across:.

i understand you took the actions you did because you were afraid.

milligal

Cognac-what are you hoping as an outcome of your communication w/dad? Are you hoping that he will re-think his stand and address your questions? Are you hoping to make HIM think about the behavior and compare it with what a christian is supposed to be like?

I think your sentiments are honest and respectful, the only feedback I might be able to give is maybe be more specific in your outline to him: When I said "......" (put in specifically what your questions were) the family responded by saying "......" (what did they specifically say/do?) I would refrain from leaving anything without definition since your dad may be defensive and defensive people downplay their own actions/or the actions they are trying to defend.

I would eliminate any possibility for him to put his own spin on what happened; list the facts and then how those facts made you feel-(which you did a great job with). Hope this is a helpful comment-good luck.

16

looking inside

by myownsaviorthankyoumuch in

i was wondering if there is anyone on this board, that asides from leaving the witness mind reform program,

has also brushed off all religions as a whole?

and began looking inwards for answers instead?

milligal

The old saying that religion is control for the masses is what I believe. People (okay this is my opinion) who flock to religion do so, because they take comfort in having someone tell them what is right and wrong in daily life and that they will be rewarded for following these rules. Government-at least western governments allow religion to control everyday matters that democracies don't legislate-it's a free country you can sleep with whoever you want, but religion provides some element of control for those wouldn't otherwise control themselves.

Growing up I often thought the world was defined as 'good' and 'bad' people. I no longer believe this, now I believe the world is broken up into categories of 'intelligent' and 'not so much' as well as people who have the courage to face truth, and those who want life to be broken down into easy to understand rules: don't kill, don't fornicate, don't lie; I find many many people want things to be easy in the sense that they do not have to use their own critical thinking skills-religion provides comfort to people like that.

By the way, I'm not criticizing anyone who is religious, I just tend to look at it legalistically.

12

"Outing" yourself

by sooner7nc in

this question may be stupid, and if so, let the flaming begin.

has anyone ever used this website as the vehicle to "out" themselves from the wt?

would the mods allow this to happen, or would they quash the attempt as soon as it started.

milligal

I know how painful the process of df'ing is, so I would not ever tell anyone what they should do, all I can share is this one short story:

I was sitting in my office one afternoon years after being df'd and along comes a witness woman who I called my best friend for a long time. After years of shunning she came appears at my door, sits down and starts chatting about her kids, dating life, her ex, yada yada yada....I was surprised but I was polite. Before she got up to leave without batting an eyelash she told me that she would like it if I kept our visit to myself...she didn't want anyone knowing she spoke to me. You know, in the real world this would be a slap in the face.

Well the thing is (I have no one 'on the inside' to tell-like I'm going to run out and rat on her) but we're adults, we live in a free country and anyone who feels like they have to live their lives outrunning the WT gestapo has it pretty bad. I mean, you are who you are...if you are afraid that the WT is using this site to stalk you -then maybe it's time to ask yourself who you really are; and how long you're willing to pretend you are someone else....don't give them that power over you.

At some point most of the people here found that they didn't want to live by those rules any longer-and that is a liberating place to be.

2

Haha! Story from a friend concerning JW client........

by WingCommander in

this is too funny.

i post on a kind of "gentlemans forum" where anything goes, all is talked about etc.

it's really cool.

milligal

Sometimes I laugh when I tell people I was df'd in a grocery store parkinglot, but what was NOT so funny was the month previous to this event when the elders followed me to the gym, to the car dealership oh...and the other brothers who were helping them out-one was my ex-father-in-law who got a personal protection order put against him when I took him to court for taking pictures of me. They're all insane....

6

Have you ever been able to get over extreme fear? How?

by snarf in

jw
friends

i have an anxiety problem as it is, but i am passing out scared of riding motorcycles!

my hubby, a biker through and through, loves them and with the rising cost of gas, and his need to drive 45 miles each way to a job 3 days a week and us trying to cut back, we decided it was a good time for him to fulfill his dream, so he bought a beautiful motorcycle that any biker would be proud to own, problem is, he really wants me to hop on the back and join him for a cruise on the open road.

i have tried to "make" myself get on and succeeded once.

milligal

I have two ideas for you:

My son was deathly afraid of going on boats, so my husband forced him onto a pnotoon boat and let him drive! My son fell in love with being the captain. Have you ever thought of taking the wheel? Maybe the control would help you relax...

Another idea is 'flooding' a psych term explaining how some therapists help you get past fears and how I got over being afraid to go to court. Just do it over and over, repeatedly 'flood' yourself with the event that scares you until you become accustomed to it.

It's really good of you to get over the fear for your hubby : )

38

Did You Feel That Jehovah Loved You?

by minimus in

jw
friends

or did you feel abandoned?

milligal

I felt 'he' was impossible to please and that I would never make the cut no matter how hard I tried.

Real? Not so much, kind of like Santa Clause- a lot of rumors and gifts coming out of nowhere but impossible to prove 'he' was behind all the good stuff.

23

From innocent to...

by mind my own in

how many of you initally checked out this site for completely innocent reasons?

just stumbed across it and couldnt' stop reading, or to see what was being read with the intent of setting us or someone else in your life straight?

then b/c of what you read you could no longer buy into the whole jw fraud and left the org or are in the process of leaving?

milligal

I spent 8 years on the outside and still have this huge struggle inside myself. When I was looking at the forum, I truthfully thought it would be the stereotypical 'angry apostates' then when I started reading, I couldn't believe that I was still carrying that JW mindmelt with me! After 8 years away! Now my hubby is going through the same thing. He jokingly says are you looking at that apostate stuff again? (he's also df'd) Then when he thinks I'm not looking he's on here reading the posts.

This forum is liberating for me, to know so many people went through the same mind f*** that I did and turned out to be nice, normal even successful people.

21

Kid's playing sports?

by ldrnomo in

jw
friends

anyone keep their kids from playing sports because of the borg?.

when my son was 8 years old they had a t-ball league in the summer at the nearby park.

because of the borg training we told him he couldn't play t-ball.. that kind of thinking just carried on throughout his life from junior high through high school.

milligal

I left when my oldest son was a little over a year old. I made a point of putting him in every sport known to man. As it turns out he is not an athletic kid...: ) Don't feel so bad, it's never too late to start, and once you expose your kids you find out what their true talents and passions are, I have one athletic kid and one intellectual. So I put them both in things they enjoy.

I know what you mean though, I was raised JW and I did not have an enjoyable childhood....

20

Feeling really sad and missing my family.

by Aphrodite in

jw
friends

i really feel i have no one to turn to who understands other than you guys of course.

i'm just really sad and crying a lot and missing my whole extended familly who are all witnesses.

i basicly have me my husband and two kids and my 2 sisters who are out.

milligal

Sorry you are so down right now. My sister lives five states away but we talk on the phone everyday, she's df'd too. It will start to feel better, give it time...

41

Why the end is sooo close! Latest illogical JW logic

by Quandary in

an elder mentioned yesterday in casual conversation how the end must be close 'because this is the first time in human history that a black man will probably be president of the us.

all other forms of government have had their day, now that a black man will be president, the angels, mankind and satan cannot claim that jehovah didn't give every possible chance for humans to make it without his rulership'.

almost verbatim!

milligal

Well, when you only read books you are told to read and watch shows you are told to watch and only talk to people who agree with you, you can pretty much mold the whole damn world around your invention of reality...