independent_tre

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Posts by independent_tre

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  69

  Can't speak with me, unless they need something

  by Stan Conroy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  after many, many years outside of the jw world, my elderly parents finally decided to give me an ultimatum.

  i either rejoin the jw's or they will never speak with me again.

  apparently my brother is going to get the same choice.

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  independent_tre

  Stan -

  I can so empathize with what you're going through right now. What is pathetic is witnesses cannot see the duplicity of their actions when it comes to shunning, kind of a 'don't call us, we'll call you' relationship. No one needs to be exploited like that, especially when children are involved. I feel like I'm about to go through the same with my mother, yet i'm not DF or DA and have only recently stopped attending.

  My mother never calls or emails just to see how me or my kids are anymore, it's always are you coming to this meeting or this assembly? The only thing I feel like to my mother is a high pressure sale. It's irritating and off-putting to realize that someone is feigning interest in your life, just to sell you a religion. I 'm done being passive.

  I think the best thing anyone, including myself, in this situation can do is to prepare yourself for it mentally and prepare for the worst. Kind of a reverse shunning. Not in a spiteful way, but enough to let a person know that their actions are thoughtless and hurtful, and you will not allow yourself or your family to be treated this way.
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  21

  Letter to my in-laws regarding shunning over Easter period.

  by jakes in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  over the easter period my family and i took a well deserved break.

  we travelled to our hometown to celebrate my parents' 40th wedding anniversary.

  however, the treatment we experienced from my in-laws was totally appalling.

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  independent_tre

  any updates?
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  49

  Need advice, they are trying to suck me in!

  by Searchinggal in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i am hoping you can help me.

  i have a very dear friend of over 20 years, who was brought up jw.

  our children are friends and we have vacationed and been like sisters all these years.

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  independent_tre

  Undercover wrote: The more she becomes ingrained back into the JW faith, the more that she will view you as "worldly", a term they use to classify all non-JWs as something undesirable. That's why she's trying so hard to get you to join. She wants to keep you as a best friend, but she needs to be faithful to the religion.

  This is it in a nutshell; yes, she may fear 'losing you' at armageddon, but her biggest fear is losing you right now. She wants to have her cake and eat it to, and the only way she can do this is to get you to become a JW or at least a 'serious study' . Trust me, she's already counting the time over the past 8 months, and now she needs to show proof of you 'progressing' in order to keep hanging out with you. It's a trap.

  My advice, slowly get used to the idea that she probably won't be friends with you. You don't have to rip the bandaid off all at once, but it's a good idea to prepare yourself for this mentally. The only other ways out of this is if you become a dub yourself or she leaves the cult.
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  44

  What I do know is that there is peace to be found and there love to be had, after the organisation

  by LIftsong in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  my mother became a jw when i was six months old so i was brought up within the confines of the organisation.

  i left properly in my early twenties and i am now 43 so a good 22 years of life, post being a witness have i travelled and documented thus far.

  mine was a typical experience of a child in the congregation and i was busy doing my best to be a little adult as the child within slowly fell asleep.

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  independent_tre

  It's posts like these that make me love this forum!!!

  Welcome Liftsong!!
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  18

  Are You Sorry?

  by Yizuman in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jihgyjcji1g.

  are you sorry you knocked door to door?

  are you sorry you converted new members?

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  independent_tre

  I apologize because I have some in my family that may have been influenced by my decision to get baptized and become a dub.
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  52

  Family Worship Night Rule.....

  by sweet pea in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  .

  i have it on good authority that at the recent circuit assembly it was announced from the platform that there had been reports of groups of families and friends getting together to study on family worship night and that this was not to continue as fwn is for families only and not for other brothers and sisters to get involved in.. oh, and if you live alone, then you have to study on your own, you alone are your family, you are not to join anyone else's fwn (although i'm sure they didn't mean you couldn't join your blood family's fwn....).

  the level of control never ceases to amaze me...... .

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  independent_tre

  Next thing you know they'll ban congregation picnic's........oops to late

  OMG...was this really why they stopped? One of the good JW memories from my youth was the picnic at the forest perserves and I never knew why they discontinued it. Wow... learn somethin new every day.
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  48

  Saddest day of my life

  by WuzLovesDubs in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i followed my instincts that the changes my 14 year old son is going through ran deeper than teenaged angst and i made an appointment for him to see a counselor through the county so he could talk to someone.

  it took two months to get it.

  we went yesterday, he and i. i spoke for a little about our life now, including the separation, the house, the jws, the shunning, my husbands alcoholism and his treatment of the kids, my husbands familial bipolar and depression and adhd...and then she spoke to my son separately.

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  independent_tre

  I'm so glad there are so many here to offer the needed support. And as purps said you ARE a very good mother! You and your family will make it through this. I have a teenage son also, so I can only imagine your heartache. I will keep your family in my thoughts.

  *peace to your family*
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  46

  If You Won A Million $$$ How Would You Spend It?

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  imagine hitting the lottery and clearing a cool million!

  what would you do with all that money?.

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  independent_tre

  Quit my job, travel, and plan on taking care of my parents as they expect this system of things to be long gone by time they retire.
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  31

  Introducing me.

  by mraimondi in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  not too much to say about myself.

  i find this board amusing and intriuging (oh, humans), with some tidbits occaisionally of good information that i probably wouldn't find otherwise.. .

  - fellow human..

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  independent_tre

  I guess it'd be odd to sign it fellow klingon. or just maybe.....

  BTW Welcome!!
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  94

  What Was The Very First Thing That Came Across Your Eyes That Lead You Down The Road To Doubt?

  by Yizuman in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  any of you remember what was exactly the first thing that crossed your eyeballs to lead you into doubting the wts?.

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  independent_tre

  Welcome Alco Cop!!... most dubs would excuse the change in doctrine as the 'light getting brighter'. Judging by your example, soon being in law enforcement will be akin to being the son of Satan. Better get your shades.