Jesika

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Posts by Jesika

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  41

  A HUGE REVELATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  by Jesika in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  i haven't posted in a while.

  there is good reason for it.

  i have been in counseling again.

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  Jesika

  Well Eric...........all I can say is bravo.
• 
  41

  A HUGE REVELATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  by Jesika in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  i haven't posted in a while.

  there is good reason for it.

  i have been in counseling again.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Jesika

  (((((((((Dede)))))))))))))))

  I know my phone call was a shock to you.......hell it was to me as well. Thank you for being there for me when I do call and am in bad shape. You have always been so supportive of me.......thank you.

  I don't mind anyone talking about my father in a bad way........he is a bad person........and yes very sick too.

  Eric..........I have to talk to you directly.................Being put in that kind of situation.......most ppl would be in shock and wouldn't think about doing anything to stop it till they left the situation. Then you have the realization..........GOD I should have stopped it!!!.........You have to understand..........it isn't normal......so don't feel ashamed that you didn't stop it........you only reacted the way most anyone would have. I know that if you were ever put in the situation again.......you WOULD do something. It is horrible to know that it takes us to be in that situation to know how to deal with it later, but it isn't your fault at all or the child in that situation.

  Just wanted you to know that ok? (hugs)

  I feel an inner strength from being able to tell my stories..........and in hopes that they help others.

  Thank you all so much for standing by me in this very trying time.

  Love,
  Jesika
• 
  10

  A knock at the door - by others

  by A Paduan in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  .

  do jws give to charitable orgs that knock at their door ?

  .

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  Jesika

  Honestly.......... I really don't know.

  The only thing I do know is I do now, and when I do.....it feels good to give to others.

  I know I have been down on my luck and ppl have helped me out before and I didn't even know them.

  This is an example of what I am talking about..............

  http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/42286/1.ashx

  Hope you read the whole post...........I read it again and it still brings tears to my eyes remembering how much the "charity" meant to me that yr.

  Jes
• 
  86

  My Story.......

  by Jesika in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  well, i talk about my abuse so much i haven't found the need to post it.

  i guess i will post it now so i can write it once and not have to keep writing it over and over again.

  well, my eariliest memory is of being punished.

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  Jesika

  Jes, a great deal of pain went through my heart and soul reading your reply.

  Forgive me for being slow.........but why were you hurt by my reply to you? I don't understand.

  I know everyone deals with abuse in different ways.........it is a means for survival and we all do that differently.

  I don't mind at all discussing things with you if you want to share/talk about things.

  I hope not only you, but others know I am ok with talking to those who feel like talking-- about anything they want to.

  If you are up to it.........being I am not able to sleep right now........I am having bouts of insomnia again..........we can go into chat and talk........not about abuse per say........but just to chat like we have on so many occassions.

  It is up to you 77 and I will log into chat in about 5 mins.

  Love ya,

  Jes
• 
  2

  Don't you just hate it when that happens.....

  by Elsewhere in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  toilet farce causes rush hour chaos

  thousands of new york commuters were stranded after a man's arm became wedged down a train toilet as he tried to retrieve his mobile phone.

  rescue crews had to dismantle the toilet with edwin gallart's arm still stuck in the u-bend.

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  Jesika

  Must have been one helluva call to go through all that s*it ..........LOL.
• 
  23

  Happy Halloween!

  by Euphemism in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i'm probably going to regret this post in the morning... piph is in the bathroom right now, trying not to puke, and i'm barely able to compose proper sentences.. i left my credit card behind at a local club, with a tab open... but you know what?

  getting drunk is fun!

  i don't intend to do it often... it makes one rather disconcertingly vulnerable.

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  Jesika

  LOL god if I could take back some of the posts I have made drunk LOL. I wake up the next day and forgot I even posted some things.

  I had a GREAT Halloween!!!!! As usual my son (he is about to be 10) always wants me to be a vampire........so once again.........I was a vampire .

  My sister and I went to this carnival made by the daycare my nephew attends.

  My sister and I (besides one) were the only adults dressed up for the occassion (hey.......we are making up for lost time ok? LOL).

  They made a small haunted house in the backyard for the little ones and guess who was the main attraction?? Me and my sister were designated to scare everyone!! LOL

  TOOOO much fun!!!!!!!!

  HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ALL!!!!! AND MANY MORE TO COME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  I am so glad I can and my sister can allow our children the chance to be kids and have fun with the holidays!!!!

  Holding up a beer and saying cheers to all who had fun this halloween!!!!!!!!!!

  Love,

  Jes
• 
  29

  Well, I suppose an introduction is in order

  by Enishi in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i've been lurking on this site for the past two months and just now decided to post.

  i was raised a witness, and got baptised only a couple years ago.

  however, shortly after my baptism i started having doubts, and began to suffer from low self esteem.

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  Jesika

  WELCOME!!

  This is a great place......glad you found us........wish I would have found it yrs ago.

  Love,

  Jes
• 
  86

  My Story.......

  by Jesika in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  well, i talk about my abuse so much i haven't found the need to post it.

  i guess i will post it now so i can write it once and not have to keep writing it over and over again.

  well, my eariliest memory is of being punished.

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  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Jesika

  Hey there 77, good to see you.

  In answer to your ?..........I have done alot of things that are far from healthy or what others would view as normal. A form of acting out I guess.

  Now and in my past.....I have sought out counseling. I haven't been able to continue due to $ problems.

  Now I am hoping I will be able to continue in the counseling till I feel I don't "need" it anymore, or at least go cause I just need someone to talk to rather then getting myself "right" again.

  I am truely sorry you can relate to any of what I have been through. I hate that ppl understand it.........since there is only one way to know how it feels.......is to live it.

  Love,

  Jes
• 
  41

  A HUGE REVELATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  by Jesika in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  i haven't posted in a while.

  there is good reason for it.

  i have been in counseling again.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Jesika

  I will answer this way: What other reason on this planet would a father be telling his six year old daughter to drop her pants so he can beat her, if he had no 'sexual intent"?

  I completely agree with this comment. There is NO reason for a father to do this at any age. I believe if it is done.........there is sexual intent. I see no other reason.

  I thank you for your point of view...........I didn't mean to direct the comment of picking apart to you only .......just been my experience in the past and I wanted to comment on what you said.

  I am sorry you can relate to the feelings that come with this type of experience and I hope you heal as well.

  I am not angry in any way........just felt like explaining myself futher.

  Love,

  Jes
• 
  41

  A HUGE REVELATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  by Jesika in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  i haven't posted in a while.

  there is good reason for it.

  i have been in counseling again.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Jesika

  I am just overwhelmed by all the kindness here. Thank you all so much!!!!!

  It wasn't an easy thing to write.......cause sometimes ppl on boards like to pick things apart, so writting this leaves me open to criticism.

  With that being said..............BG.........I understand what you are saying...........I disagree with you and here is why.

  What other reason on this planet would a father be telling his fully matured daughter to drop her pants so he can beat her--------If he had no "sexual intent"?????

  I am at the same time not condoning it happening to a younger....or not as developed child/young adult. I dont think any child at any age should have to drop their pants and expose themselves to an adult in order to recieve punishment or for any other reason!!!

  The exception being of course if it was for medical reasons and with a doctor.

  This is a sexual boundry that shouldn't be crossed.

  If you don't see it as sexual abuse..........then you are free to have your opinion and I am not familiar with your past so I can't say you haven't been through similar situations.

  I feel it was a huge violation in my personal space and the feelings I experienced (which I hadn't felt in a long time since I locked them away) I can not put into words and hope you don't or can't relate to these feelings.

  Jes