I am a lifelong JW, a born-in true believer for most of my life. My wife is much the same. Eventually I had the awakening and have been pulling away from the religion, even though we still attend meetings. I am willing to keep up appearances if it means saving my relationship with my wife and our close family. No kids of our own.
In the last couple months I was surprised by how "apostate" my wife has been with other family members. Outright condemnation of the Governing Body as just men who can't possibly have a direct channel with God based on their track record. Even more stunning is her candid admission that she can't relate to Jehovah when she sees God's wavering justice with David and other untouchables in the Bible. She has little or no respect for God and the organization. Enough said, we should be writing our DA letters right? No. We sat down and had a heart-to-heart. It's been over a month of missed meetings. But the hook is still in her. She can't throw away the hope of living forever. All reason and opinion against God and or the organization evaporates to leave a staunch faith in what (?), I don't know. Strangely she is completely uninterested in doctrine. When confronted with 607 vs 587, early Russell crazyisms, UN, whatever there is no traction. She's never been a book worm, but I have no success trying to reason with the printed word. Ironically she says that since the FDS changes all the time, doctrine doesn't matter much to her. Is this literally the last straw for her? I feel like I should be delicate, after all this is trampling on her natural desire for life. This is her world view, but can a such raw wish survive? How would it affect her to have that stripped away while she is still clutching at it? Does she need a catalyst, a line in the sand to snap her into reality? And is that something that I should orchestrate, or let time cause to happen? Lastly, she's had bad personal experiences with "apostates." Unfortunately her experience has been with a couple classic disgruntled self-destructing former witnesses. So when the Watchtower says that's what all apostates are, she believes it. That means I tread lightly on the topic. She is understands that I don't believe JW teachings anymore, but cannot abide any sort of activism (which she calls "ranting") from ex-members. I am asking your help, especially if you are a woman or understand this phase of JW jettison.
