I think a big part of it is that when you get privileges revoked people notice . As in "Brother so and so hasn't been carrying mikes for a long time I wonder what he did wrong". Especially if it is a smaller hall where the need for brothers is great, I mean people will know and then you will be labeled "bad association". The buzz begins and their goes your social life (if you can call it that). I mean for young people who can't play sports, have "worldly" friends and participate in extra curriculur activities getting the BA label can be devestating. The elders hold all the power to destroy these young mens reputations without even saying a word to the congregation. It makes me sick.
hungry4life
JoinedPosts by hungry4life
-
23
why do jws fear getting 'priveleges' revoked?
by Bgurltryal infrom what i understand these privilages aren't much of a privilage!.
i'd be wearing a fake beard just to get them revoked.
-
-
-
13
Pre-partum/ Post-partum depression......
by LDH inwell let's hear it gals.
has either one ever affected you?.
i,for one, am having a case of pre-partum blues, specifically because i'm having the pregnancy from hell.. i'm ready to hear any advice y'all have.. lisa
-
-
hungry4life
Hi Lisa,
When is your due date? Do you know if it's a boy or girl? You mentioned the central valley, if you mean California then we have lots in common I am in the Sacramento area. My last one was born in July 97 and it was a scorcher. Funny thing is I was just commenting the other day how this is the mildest summer I remember. Is their another central valley in another state or is it just that I'm not pregnant or better yet has my body finally begun to adjust to the heat? Hang in their you have made it through the worst of the temps. -
10
Why PurpleTriangles?
by hungry4life inrecently i had the opportunity to go to the museum of tolerance in los angeles.
one thing stuck in my mind, the purple triangles.
i have not been in a kh for over 3 years.
-
-
hungry4life
Recently I had the opportunity to go to the Museum of Tolerance in Los Angeles. One thing stuck in my mind, the Purple Triangles. I have not been in a kh for over 3 years. But somehow it disturbs me to think that the witnesses were singled out as the only religious group (besides the Jews) to be persecuted, to the extent that they even had a specific color of triangle just for them. Why? I know their must be a reasonable explanation (besides the standard JW answer "for being God's true people" ) can anybody out their help me with this question? Are my facts correct? History is not my strongest subject. Thanks
-
11
Get Rid Of Old WT Books?
by sawthelight ini havn't been to the kigdumb hall in 3.5 years and have no intention of ever going back.
i have a collection of some of the rainbow books from da judge as well as da judges edited copies of 6 0f the 7 studies in the scripturs.
should i get rid of them?
-
-
hungry4life
I had all my old books boxed up and ready to dump. Then I started thinking along the same lines as dungbeetle. Many times I have done research in the bound volumes etc only to find out that "new light" had replaced their incriminating old lies. I then realized that my children will someday be a witness target (especially by aunts and cousins on their dad's side of the family), additionally my oldest daughter is 8 and still has faint memories about the hall and wants to know why we stopped going.. What better way to show my kids or any other targeted friend , the extent of lies, and contradictions than by having the original books. I do not want them to get to see only the whitewashed future version or CD Rom. So for now the books are still in boxes in the storage room. Sure they are not the first thing I would grab in case of a fire, ok not the second either. But for now they are staying out of the dumpster.
-
52
Need new drink!!!
by tattoogrl333 inok this has nothing to do with being a jw or anything of that nature but it is important to me and i need some help:.
here goes i have been drinking rum and coke (bacardi) since i can remember and finally realized that maybe it is contributing to my severly harsh hangovers.
so i went on a quest in search of a new drink.
-
-
hungry4life
7 up and crown royal, a white russian (milk or half and half, vodka and kahlua),brandy alexander (milk, brandy and a touch of butterscotch schnapps). Flaming Dr. Peppers (yes it has beer but is made to slam). 1 mug of beer, 1 shot glass filled with 3/4 amaretto 1/4 bacardi 151 (151 on top). Ignite the shot glass drop (shot glass included) into mug of beer then slam. Good Luck
-
13
Pre-partum/ Post-partum depression......
by LDH inwell let's hear it gals.
has either one ever affected you?.
i,for one, am having a case of pre-partum blues, specifically because i'm having the pregnancy from hell.. i'm ready to hear any advice y'all have.. lisa
-
-
hungry4life
Well LDH I had to post and commiserate with you, though pregnancy and the post partum period can be tough, adding depression to our list of symptoms can make it ultimately suck!
With my first baby I went from a size 3 to over 176lbs the baby weighed 9 lbs 2 oz ( I eventually got my shape back). Pre partum depression was a way of life for me. Especially with my husband singing the "fatty and skinny went to bed" chant every night and his refusing to have sex with me. "Sorry honey I can't you, just look too different". nice huh? Meanwhile I needed him more than ever (pregnancy hormones do funky things to my sex drive). Well those were
the good times affter the baby was born it got worse. I was a nervous new mom, the baby was tongue tied and couldn't nurse (of course I had no idea at the time). She pushed off my breast and screamed constantly. I felt utterly rejected. Meanwhile she was the apple of her daddy's eye while I was the night servant. The good news is things did get better with time (although it took me 5 years before I wanted to try motherhood again).The second time around I got up to 186 lbs and the baby weighed 10lbs 4oz. (no c section either). This time around the pregnancy was easier on my body and I knew what to expect (basically no help or support from my husband) which seemed to help alot (hey no hope is better than false hope). I did not work during this pregnancy and my five year old daughter had justed started kindergarten. I sewed and read and walked and learned to take things day by day . I focused on the baby to come not as my ego satisfying super child (poor first borns), but as a precious and mysterious life.
Things went much smoother my child was able to nurse I was back to my size 5 in 6 weeks. At this point I had the confidence to mother both
my daughhters by my own instinct and not that of others. This made all the difference for me.My youngest just turned 4 and I have not had the desire to have a third child I am content with my life as it is for now. One thing I will consider before having another child is the possibility of depression occuring again. I read in a recent article that they are now finding that depression does not neccesarily occur more during or after pregnancy than at any other time in life. It's just that the combination of having to deal with both a pregnacy or new baby and depression can be overwhelming. (gee that was a no brainer. wonder how much that study cost )
A close friend of mine is pregnant with her 3rd child and is having a hard time. She has been suffering from depression (alot of feelings of anger,anxiety,a short fuse, and she says she feels totally out of control). She went to her doctor and he prescribed Prozac for her. I was horrified at the the thought of medication for a pregnant woman. But we got on the internet and did tons of research and it all seemed pretty positive, even the experiences from women who had already given birth. She began taking it about three months ago and is doing soooo much better. In reality it makes sense that taking medication is better for her and the baby than risking the possibility of suicide( which she now tells me she had been considering). Talk to your
doctor and see what he says, only you know what the various issues are, how you feel and to what extent. No one has the right to judge you (remember we have left those days in the past).Most of all remember that you are not alone. The fact that you can speak about your feelings puts you heads above the rest (did I mention to you that I had no idea I was depressed , but just felt like a loser). Let me repeat again you are not alone, this is normal, it will get better.
Wishing you the best
-
19
How Easy Was It To Leave?
by ballistic inwhen i was df, i actually wanted to return which isn't suprising when you look at their brain washing: * http://www.escapefromwatchtower.com/mind.html.
i think it took me a couple of years to fully get over it and now the scripture "like a dog returning to it's vomit" comes to mind.. i gather some people here came to their senses while still in the org.
did anyone actually find it easy to leave?.
-
-
hungry4life
Leaving for me was a difficult thing. I have no family in the org but I had followed counsel to not associate with "worldly ones" and had grown quite distant from my family and had only 1 friend left outside the prison walls. In addition my husband had just gotten disfellowshipped and walked out on me. I had not worked in 4 years (much of it spent pioneering) and had two very young children. I could not afford to live in our home, so I got a job,and moved to a small apartment.
I knew that leaving the org was the right thing to do ,I felt it's hypocrisy and lack of real love. But starting over from scratch, boy, that was tough. Interestingly enough I know what they say in the congregation about ones like myself, that our love of truth was not strong enough, that our roots did not go deep enough and in times of trouble we could not withstand the winds.
In reality quite the opposite is true nothing but sheer strength of will and a tremendous love of truth could get someone through times such as those. The easy way out would have been to return to my so called "friends" to decide to make this change when things were more settled but at what price? I could not continue to inflict this sham on my children for one more day.
Of course the brainwashing did take it's toll during weaker moments, after the girls went to bed I would stay up alone with nothing to do but think, and it was frightening. I worried that if I had made a mistake Jehovah would destroy my children, but then that is the fear they used to get me in. I reasoned on God's love for his children as compared to my imperfect love for mine and realized that it could not be true.
It was during this time that I got my first internet connection web TV ( I could not afford a computer). With trembling fingers and a pounding heart I typed in the search words that lead me to sites such as this. I waited for God to strike me dead, read with fear and curiosity what the so called "apostates" had to say. What I read shocked me. Hey, you were all (this is before Fred) normal
people speaking more truth than I had heard in years.I realize this is a long post (maybe ought to have posted it in another area). But in answer to your question, no it was not easy, but having sites like this gave me the strength to continue,with what I knew was the right decision. I have not looked back and have never been happier.
I have jsut recently started to post, but I want to thank all of you for being my friends even when you didn't know I was lurking out there in cyberspace. Your courage has made the difference in my families life.
-
174
get a life -- 10 facts
by joelbear ini thought it would be interesting for people to just post a few things about themselves so we can get to know each other just a bit.. try posting 10 facts about your life.. joel.
1. i was born and raised in south georgia.. 2. my favorite subject in school was math.. 3. i was in the fulltime service (bethel and pioneer) for 4 years.. 4. my favorite color is blue.. 5. mitch and i have been together over 12 years.. 6. we live in a suburb of atlanta georgia.. 7. we love to eat out and have friends over for dinner and board games.. 8. the only sport i was ever any good at is tennis.. 9. my favorite tv show of all time is the simpsons.. 10. we are both naturists and wish we could lay on the beach naked every day.
-
-
hungry4life
1.I am one of(if not the) newest newbies.
2.I collect anything with grasshoppers. Chapulin (grasshopper in Spanish is my nickname).
3.I have two daughters both named after shades of blue. Navy is 8 and Cyan (rhymes with Ryan) is 4.
4.I work at an elementary school and attend college full time (Junior) majoring in Social Science.
5.I love to read anything and everything (including cereal boxes, shampoo bottles.)
6.I did not have my own room until I was 29(now 31). I love it! Yeah sometimes it can be lonely but I can blanket hog with no guilt and stay up late with out regard for anyone else's schedule.
7.I am far more exciting and interesting than this post makes me appear however it is 3 oclock in the morning
8.My eight year old proof reads most anything I write for punctuation errors, unfortunately she is asleep.
9.I am obsessed with bathroom decorating I currently have 6 different themes,but only 2 bathrooms so I redecorate and rotate about every 2 months.
10.I love scampi,working out, dirty jokes, this site, seven006's sense of humor, my Honda, honesty, sex and it's substitutes,lime flavored potato chips,celebrating birthdays and Christmas, San Francisco, reading the newspaper,traveling, my job, Heineken, cheesy photographs and this thread. -
45
What should we name the baby?
by Eyebrow ini am due in the middle of october and my husband and i cannot come up with a name.
i almost had him sold on venus, until he asked people at work what they thought and he got wierd looks.
i wanted to name the last baby sidney, but let him name her because he has never gotten a chance to name a kid before.
-
-
hungry4life
My daughters names are Navy and Cyan (rhymes with Ryan) they are both shades of blue. I also have nieces named Sienna, Ruby, Jade and Sage.
Colors work for us feel free to consider any of them. I also love the name Cenise (rhymes with Denise) and have another niece named Alegra, and that's nothing to sneeze at(pardon the pun). Best Wishes -
26
how have YOU changed since leaving?
by idaho init's obvious that the sense of freedom is a dominant.
feeling among most persons here, but it would be .
interesting to hear in what way(s) you feel you .
-
-
hungry4life
This is my first post. I have not been to a meeting in 3 years and have been lurking on this site for about 4 months. After leaving the org I returned to college and learned to think critically again, it's a whole new world out here. I have made genuine friends and gotten close to my family again. I am a better mother no longer punishing my children for normal behavior,just because someone else expects it. I have a job that I love and true purpose in my life (no more wasting gas going door to door hoping to feel something). I look at people with a more open mind I appreciate their differences and am much less judgemental. I ask questions without fear,enjoy weekend family time without guilt and feel strength like I have never known. Yes it has been difficult but well worth it.