Posts by MadGiant

they love to put big wooden posts in the middle of their beautiful lawns with the most hideous kmart type night lighting fixtures you have ever scene.

MadGiant

Yes, those Puertoricans and Nuyoricans.

Be grateful that their lawns don’t look like a ballpark at night.

They are not afraid of the dark, they are afraid of what might be hidden in the dark, and I am not talking about demons.

Yes, they are paranoid like that, I should know.

Take care,

Ismael

1

Life acording to Calvin & Hubbes

by is there help out there in

jw
friends

life is realy nothing more than trying to servive long enought to.

reproduce before you become food for something else.. .

MadGiant

I totally agree with that statement.

Take care,

Ismael

25

Jokes for MARY

by rebel8 in

jw
friends

*disclaimer: these are just jokes!

mary is having a really crappy time playing the cards life has dealt her right now and that is no joke.

but since we know how fond she is of jokes, maybe we can cheer her up.*.

You don't even have to be a mother to enjoy this one...

Brian invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, Brian's mother couldn't help but notice how beautiful Brian's roommate Jennifer was. Brian's Mom had long been suspicious of the platonic relationship between Brian and Jennifer, and this had only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Brian and Jennifer than met the eye.

Reading his mom's thoughts, Brian volunteered, 'I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you Jennifer and I are just roommates.'

About a week later, Jennifer came to Brian saying, 'Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?'

Brian said, 'Well, I doubt it, but I'll send her an e-mail just to be sure.. So he sat down and wrote:

__________________________________________________________

Dear Mom,

I'm not saying that you 'did' take the gravy ladle from the house,
I'm not saying that you 'did not' take the gravy ladle. But the fact
remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for
dinner.

Love,
Brian

__________________________________________________________

Several days later, Brian received an email back from his mother
that read:

____________________________________________________

Dear Son,

I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Jennifer, I'm not saying
that you 'do not' sleep with Jennifer. But the fact remains that if
Jennifer is sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now.

Love,
Mom

Confucius Says

Confucius Says;

Man who run in
front of car get tired.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who run behind
car get exhausted.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man with one
chopstick go hungry.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who eat many
prunes get good run for money.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Baseball is wrong:
man with four balls cannot walk.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who fight with
wife all day get no piece at night.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

It take many nails
to build crib, but one screw to fill it.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who drive like
hell, bound to get there.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Man who fish in
other man's well often catch crabs.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Crowded elevator smell different
to midget.

25

Jokes for MARY

by rebel8 in

jw
friends

*disclaimer: these are just jokes!

mary is having a really crappy time playing the cards life has dealt her right now and that is no joke.

but since we know how fond she is of jokes, maybe we can cheer her up.*.

MadGiant

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Minnesota.
All three go with a White House official to examine the fence.

The Minnesota contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. "Well," he says, "I figure the
job will run about $900: $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me."

The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me."

The Chicago contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, "$2,700."
The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?"

The Chicago contractor whispers back, "$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire the guy from Tennessee to fix the fence."

"Done!" replies the government official.

25

Jokes for MARY

by rebel8 in

jw
friends

*disclaimer: these are just jokes!

mary is having a really crappy time playing the cards life has dealt her right now and that is no joke.

but since we know how fond she is of jokes, maybe we can cheer her up.*.

MadGiant

Toward the end of Sunday service, the Minister asked, 'How many of you have forgiven your enemies?'
80% held up their hands.
The Minister then repeated his question. All responded this time, except one small elderly lady.
'Miss Joyce''; 'Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?'
I don't have any.' She replied, smiling sweetly.
'Miss Joyce', that is very unusual. How old are you?'
'Ninety-eight.' she replied.
'Oh, Miss. Joyce, would you please come down in front & tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years & not have an enemy in the world?'

The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and said:

'I outlived the bitches.'

51

CURSE GOD AND DIE...

by Mary in

jw
friends

ever feel like you just wanna give up?

i'm losing my job at the end of this month.

because of the financial situation in the world, there's a hiring freeze on both internally and externally and hardly any positions are coming up.

MadGiant

I am sorry you are going through a rough time.

I don’t know you, but for your posts I can see that you are a very intelligent and resourceful person.

You’ll see that you will find a new and better job in no time.

Take care,

Ismael

PS: Don’t waste your time with the “CURSE GOD AND DIE...” thing, I tried it a couple of times and it didn’t work. I think is better if you concentrate and focus your energy on the task ahead.

9

Smurfs Really are blue little demons

by TheICE in

jw
friends

i know most of you are not "true" believers, but i hope you atleast listen to what i have to say, the smurfs are really blue little demons, a sister once had a doll of a smurf and she woke up in the middle of the night and it was humping the cat, once she threw a show at it, it jumped out the window, needless to say the sister and the cat was scared for life.

smurfs may not be the in thing right now but you never know when there going to come back.

so please for the sake of your family and your cat stay away from them.. disclaimer: all events are based on true live events..

MadGiant

What TheICE doesn’t know is that the Smurfs live in a village of 99 males and 1 female. They have to get out of the village to find some fun. Papa Smurf is having an affair with Smurfette.

What TheICE doesn’t know is that the Smurfs live in houses made from mushrooms and the scientific community has agreed that those are Psychoactive mushrooms . So they probably have no idea of what they are doing.

What TheICE doesn’t know is that the cat got a little frisky with the Smurf, and then tries to blame the little creature after they got caught.

What TheICE doesn’t know is that the sister tried to get some from the Smurf, but she was very ugly and that’s why the Smurf jumped out the window.

So maybe TheICE need to check TheICE calendar and realize that is 2009. The TV run for almost 10 years in the 1980’s, its 2009.

I am worldly, and I don’t know anybody who has one of those dolls, not even as a collectible.

Take care, get a life.

Ismael