Posts by startingovernow

20

Parental FAILURE.

by easyreader1970 in

jw
friends

one thing i really hate.

the wbts basically says that if your child does not grow up a productive members of jehovah's witnesses, in spite of everything else they may be capable of achieving, you fail as a parent.

this bothers me.

startingovernow

Beyond words how inappropriate that was. So sorry.

17

"College Just Wasn't For Her"...my a$$

by Freedom2003 in

so, i ran into my older brother at the store yesterday.

we haven't spoke in five years except at my grandmother's funeral in 2006.

( my husband and i were df'd almost five years ago........apostasy!!

So sad. I would imagine if she's as intelligent and hard working as she sounds it was COMMUNITY college that wasn't right for her. No offense to anyone going/thinking of going to one. I speak from experience since I myself gave up going to college many years ago and had to start with community college and was surrounded by kids that didn't really want to be there, were busy with the party life, reeked of cigarette smoke, etc. etc. And a lot of the instructors just gave out the answers to exams and taught at a remedial level. If any of this happened to her, than of course "college wasn't for her" - to her it was just a bunch of worldly kids going through school for a job in this dying system.

I do not doubt that soon she will regret giving up that scholarship.

6

live with jehovahs day in mind and children

by lancelink in

i was looking over this book today, and ran into an interesting situation.

on this site, and in the news, the comment has been made quite often regarding how children seem to be leaving the organization in droves.

but this book keeps hitting on how adults and kids should put god and his service first, yet their is an undercurrent of desperation .

startingovernow

From what I've seen, most parents do a lousy job raising their children in the "Truth" and so they never gain an appreciation for it themselves. Children are conditioned and/or forced to comment at meetings to make the family look good. I had a mother tell me that she was too nervous to comment herself so makes her children prepare and give comments so they won't end up like her. I thought to myself, wouldn't seeing you share your faith and be an example rather that dictator be better? Suffice it to say, not sure about the 3rd child but of the other two, one is DF and one is DA. So much for all those good comments they were made to give. I've had an elder's kid tell me that their family did not need a family study because their father was an elder. I've had a young pioneer tell me the reason she started pioneering was because there was nothing else to do. I've had a witness at Bethel tell me she wanted to go to Bethel because she was sick of having to cook dinner for her husband (her mom had cooked for her while she was single and pioneering).

26

Gag alert! Latest email from devout JW Mom

by bud2114 in

jw
friends

my mother knows i have lots of issues with the org.

yet she still forwards me this crap as "encouragement".

i love my mother, but i wish i could get through to her that jw's aren't any more special to god than anyone else.

startingovernow

"Jehovah chose you"

Don't know your story, but when I was told this in the beginning I felt special, I felt even more special after the girl who introduced me to "the Truth" never became a Witness and I was told Jehovah used her to bring me to him.Now after all that I have been through I feel I lost more than 20 years of my life by making the decision to become one of Jehovah's Witnesses. Now that I am out and have been around people who have never "known" Jehovah and I see that there are plenty of them that ARE actually happy I think to myself, how wonderful it must be to have never been involved with the WBTS.

12

JW's Sick Reaction to Death in the Family

by OnTheWayOut in

my wife's best friend had this very lazy sister.

the sister in her early 40's has done .

little work during her entire life.

startingovernow

I'm wondering what surprises you about this. Have you ever seen someone actually being comforted over the loss of a loved one? I mean actually comforted, and supported? Not just, "you'll see them in the new system. I think of all the married people who have been supposedly comforted by being told this. When my husband's mother died and Witnesses were going through the line to give their "condolences", one after another kept asking him about the weather of the new city we had moved to. Nothing about his loss, nothing about the person she was. At one point someone kept asking question after question about where we had moved to that my husband finally told him the reason that he was there was because of his mom's death, and the brother (elder) didn't know what to say and so walked away. My husband's cousin (another elder) didn't say one word to him the whole time, no "I'm sorry for your loss", not even hello. There was no fall out between these two, and my husband was in good standing.

Even if these Witnesses rearranged there DC plans to be with the parents, of what comfort and help would they be?

12

The power of words.

by Anti-Christ in

jw
friends

all of us here know the power of words.

i think that today we use a lot of words that prevent our society from evolving.

our language is loaded with labels that prevents us from seeing certain realities.

startingovernow

You might like the book, "Nonviolent Communication"

17

Living with a J.W.

by speckles in

jw
friends

i am mature adult and have been living with a j.w.

for the past 3.5 years.

when we meet he was not practicing has not practice for some few years.

startingovernow

Yes, run.

I agree with other posts on what books might help you to take a stand for leaving despite the good years you've had together. It would be great if you could get him to read them to, since if he ever does get reinstated he will refuse to do so under the misconception that they are apostate books meant to draw him away from the "Truth" instead of what they really are; books that will help you make an informed decision as to whether what the WT says is the truth or not. If he is disrespecful of your religion now, it will only get worse. And then any other activities or behaviors that the WT says are inappropriate for true Christians you will be doing without his company but with his condemnation. He will be away at meetings and in field service, invited to gatherings where you might not be welcome or feel very comfortable at, that is unless you listen to the "good news" (keep in mind that anyone that is talking to you about God/Bible is counting their time, and their motivation might be more for how much time they can count with you than your well-being). I'm not sure what you mean by your being mature, but if your ever considering having children, he will be raising them to think like a Witness, and condemning any activity that he believes to be pagen, will not want your children to be involved in sports or other school activities.

Getting married in order to be re-instated is not a healthy reason to get married. Get out, Get out while you still can. Consider counseling for your broken heart if the thought of leaving him is so difficult.

11

Tuesday nights- freedom is great

by lrkr in

jw
friends

so i had a great tuesday evening- listened to live jazz sitting in a park by the (large water body near my house).

had a bit of pino grigio.

watched the kid play on the playground.

startingovernow

lrkr,

I'm new here so please excuse my ignorance. I'm wondering why someone who is still active and involved in sheparding JWs would be on a discussion board like this. Aren't you warned to stay off of sites like this?

No attacking please, I'm just trying to make sense of it.

24

Why I Hate the Watchtower Bible & Tract Society

by Darklighter in

"hate" is such a strong word for what i feel though.

my feelings could more accurately be surmised in the simple question of "why?".

regardless, my feelings are not warm.

startingovernow

"Yet, I cannot have children with this woman because I could not in good conscience raise those children as Jehovah's Witnesses"

I hear you. And yet even though I no longer consider myself a witness, the choice is still fraught with problems. Unlike you, I actually chose to be a Witness at 12 because I liked having boundaries/rules. It's a sad testament to how messed up my family was (no JW's) - I had no moral training, no answers to what happens when we die, who go to heaven, etc. So when the Witnesses offered to study with me I jumped at the chance to learn about the Bible. Now, after all that I've been through, well let me back up, when I was still active I wrestled with the decision about children because I figured if I was as lonely as I was in the congregation, how much more so could my children be? I made the choice with no help/encouragement from anyone to take a stand in school - I didn't do all the things Witnesses don't do even though I wasn't even allowed to talk to Witnesses for 4 years during that time. I had great godly fear. After I was able to associate with Witnesses I realized that most Witness kids don't take the kind of stand I was taking (I followed what the school brochure said) in school, man, most JW kids I know don't even to to school- spoiled, sheltered brats. So now that I know what I know and it has adversely affected my view of God, I have trouble deliberately raising children without the ability to answer questions as to spirituality and religion.

But, anyway, if your wife is a JW, doesn't she know that Witnesses are not encouraged to have children because we are so close to the end?

14

what to say?

by xig28 in

hello i just started a new profile here but i have been wandering around here for awhile.i have seen many stories somewhat similar to what i have right now.

i have read many post from people here and they have been somewhat helpful ,but now i need help with a little of my own problem.

for future refrences i apologize if my story isnt as descriptive as i want it to be but please read until the very end.. well for starters i am 16, yes i am young and have my entire life ahead of me to enjoy but idk if i can fully enjoy it but please just listen to my story.

startingovernow

Dude, you are 16. I think you should concentrate on your schooling and what you're going to do after that rather than worrying about a 15 year old girl. You're both too young for a serious commitment. And none of us should ever try to change another person. The minute you try to change her, the girl you know will change. You have much wisdom Sorry for the double post, trouble with copy/paste