Hello Pieces Lost,
I'd love to start out by telling you my first name...just so i could get you to look me in the eye, so i can let you know your not alone. I cant tell you my name, but i can tell ya, Im 38 (or so), Im divorced for over 10 years. I married at the young age of 22, and with my emotional baggage as being raised a JW I was wayyy younger. I was married to a Witness, and i have experienced first hand many of the things your referring to annd I really; really,want you to know that i can hear where your coming from. Welcome to the board, and I can see your a newb, just like me. Your gonna love it here. Your gonna love it here....cause for the first time in your life, your gonna get to know who you actually ARE. I can tell by the length of your post's that you are sincere and really want to sort your smack out. Im going to presume that since you put so much of yourself into the Organization growing up, your still a hurting unit...you were raised to think, "There is no TIME. Were running out of time! PL; we got time. We were both raised very similar, and thats the great thing about this board.Everyone here knows how much your hurting, cause we all hurt and in turn it would be great if you could feel better....and you WILL. You have time. Take it; it's yours.
DId you grow up like me? Like a lot of other JW's? Did you look forward to the District convention, cause there were going to be a WHOLE lot of new sisters there?Did you sit with your friends and take in the views? Were you one of the guys who was lucky enough to have parents that let you use binoculars during the sessions?lol I was a horndog and i didnt even know it...my thinking was really unbalanced with some things...and i didnt even know it. Not just mine, but pretty much me and all of my JW friends too.How bout you? You recall?
I don't know how long you have been divorced for; but you need to take advice from the majority here and give yourself the time.Take it, cause you can now. How are ya with the Truth? How far are you into the whole process of seperating how you think, vs how you feel? One of the things I have struggled with is where to go AFTER? How you doing with that?
Back to the girls. As A JW we grew up being told HOW to think, and for me, I believe that was the very heart of the problem. We were told how we should think about women, and in turn did are best with what we had to get ourselves one. Were in a new world now. The rules have changed, WE have to change. It's not like it used to be.No more going to the hall with the EXPECTATION of being able to hit it off with someone you already have so much in common with. For maybe the first time in your life, YOU are going to have to work to find yourself a woman. After i split up with my wife of 5 years....the ONLY thing I wanted was a new woman...love; to be able to replace all the empty feelings I had at the time with new ones. How bout you? Being raised as Witnesses we were very trusting folk, and its most likely you still are...If you wanna go through and figure it out all yourself, be my guest.If you wanna sort your head and feel better and fall in LOVE again one day...stick around here.
Worldly chicks vs Witness chicks -(no disrespect intended ladies,its boys chatting here)- Its detailed and you have t take the TIME to learn. WE have time. YOU, have TIME. I at my very core know where you coming from cause I have been there. You made mention in your first post about ASSURED percentage. Just because a girl is a Witness,does not mean she will not cheat on you. It does not mean that there is an assured percentage of girls in the truth that will be LOYAL to you. Worldly girls look at you different. None of them care about your personal record for magazines placed in one month. I KNOW what your talking about when a girl is off again on again,hot one minute cold the next. Like so many here, including myself we have lived a life using 100% of our hearts, and not using our brains at all. I KNOW where you coming from, really I do. I have given my heart up wayyy to much to a worldy chick...cause I WANTED that old feeling i had with my ex. Don't do it. The whole waiting to call a girl for 3 days or vice versa isn;t JUST a game, its almost a right of passage. She is TESTING you. She is worldly. She ALREADY knows how to do things, your just learning. TIME pal. Give yourself time. What are you looking for in a woman? OR do you just WANT a woman to feel better about yourself?I\m not being mean or trying to embarrass you here. You have your anonimity,SPEAK FROM YOUR HEART about the way you FEEL. Speaking from your mind, isnt so easy...at least it wasnt for me, and i still struggle with it. MOST of those girls (not all) are just trying to see what kind of guy you are. SOME of those girls, if you give them too much of you, will make you wish you never went near a girl at all (those girls that are testing you KNOW THIS ALREADY...guys have worked them over b4). Being in the truth from such an early age and NOT thinking about things we SHOULD HAVE has made us vulnerable...and i want you to be careful bud, cause i think from the vibe i,m getting, you might just be. THere is NOTHING wrong with this...just have to take the time to sort it out. And your in a good place to spend some time.
Just out of curiousity, let me ask you a few questions and see how you answer them. Your anonymous so you have no reason not to be honest with yourself. More importantly bud, right here, right now, you get to open up and no one is going to judge ya. Everyone wants you to sort yourself out and move on...WHEREVER it is that ya wanna go.
oh yeah...the bar thing.I wish i could observe ya...lol. I always told myself ," I'm a nice guy and I am in a bar. There HAS to be a nice girl in here somewhere" - First things first, if you are EVER going to want to find someone to LOVE your gonna have to make a concoius effort to improve your odds...lol
How are you doing with letting go of the truth? I let go the worst possible way. It was like a bandaid, and i ripped it off very slowly, one arm hair at a time. Do you work? What at? Do you think you know yourself? Wordly girls WANT a guy who knows themselves. What kind of exposure do you have to people in general on a given week? Hobbies? Do you consider yourself to be well hung? (lol..kidding,I dont wanna know) How long ago did you get divorced and how was your marriage. You HAVE to look at your past to recognize your mistakes. Did you make any? Did she? Do you like life? sports?Do you watch LOST? Damn good show of you don't. What makes you happy Pieces?
Im late for work..lol...I have to go and I hope you can respond to me. Pm me a link to this thread and ill make sure i get back later. Thanks man.
lurk3r