Posts by VIII

16

My Uber-Dub sister is depressed !

by wobble in

despite being in what she insisted to me was "the best way of life" my oldest sister has a bad case of depression.. i know on here, jwn, we tend to almost laugh at the number of dubs who suffer from depression, and blame the cult , which attitude may have a good deal of truth in it, i still feel that i would like to help her in some way and do not know for sure how to.. getting her out of the cult is not going to happen, and any lessening of her blind faith i feel would be dangerous for her.. can any of you good folk on here offer any advice.

the trigger for her problem is the fact that her husband is seriously ill, and may not pull through, but i believe she must have an underlying problem that the present circumstance has brought to the surface.

and she needs to be a positive support for him at this time, and cannot be.. here in the u.k the family doctor tends to prescribe some pills and see how you get on, if you don't top yourself, you can go back and he might try some more or different pills,beyond that not much is offered.. ideas?.

VIII

Uber=The best, nothing is better than, the top

Anti-Depressants work as well as sugar pills and are a lot more expensive. Perhaps not in the UK, but, here in the States, they are. :-0

I'll find a link.

As noted, trying to get someone depressed to get up and exercise is like getting a potato up and baking itself. Ain't gonna happen.

So, you might as well get her some drugs.

Just being there for her to talk to could really help her also. Her being a dub, she might not talk much, however, being a woman, that could change everything.

http://www.psychiatrictimes.com/home/content/article/10Just168/1520550?verify=0

Wishing you and she the best. And your BIL also.

8

Divorced women in the WTS

by dgp in

i am not a witness.

if i have understood correctly, in the wts, a single woman is at a disadvantage.

the wts is male-dominated and a woman can only go up through her father or husband.

VIII

1. So rather than humiliate themselves by throwing themselves endless at the feet of single brothers (who would just ignore them and marry the young 18 year old sister instead) they would boldly declare that they didn't want to get married again.

2. she has woken up somewhat to what a bunch of mysogynistic assh**es most JW men are,is she going to marry someone a lot younger than her? If not, why has this guy she is looking at been single for so long, or did he come from a relationship that did not work, if so what was the problem.?

3. She realizes that the sex with a JW is missionary and for the most part dull as dirt. Why bother with that for the rest of her life?

So, as noted by the above combined comments, JW women simply give up. They decide that being lifelong spinsters is better than being stuck in a dull, possibly abusive marriage. And, they are already in spiritual subjection in the KH. Why be in subjection at home?

JWs can get divorced. That is a legal issue between parties and the court of law. *Scriptural* divorce is what people refer to here. Scriptural divorce is what the bible references when it talks about people only divorcing for infidelity.

So, if two JWs divorced, neither could get remarried until one of them confessed to being unfaithful and then that one would get DFd allowing the other to be Scripturally divorced. The DFd one could get remarried anytime. Usually, when two divorced JWs start dating and/or one remarries, the moment the one remarries, it is a Scriptural Divorce.

As for marrying outside the faith, they can. However, they are treated like dirt for doing it. They aren't invited anywhere by JWs because of the Worldly spouse and are strongly encouraged to get that spouse to join. Watching it happen is painful.

10

empathy - for jw is this possible?

by Married to the Mob in

the night before my wife went to dallas on a 2 week course i asked her a question.. "while your away, think about how i will feel going to my brother's wedding on my own?".

to cut a long story short my brother can be a bit of a obnoxious git at times.

he is the golden boy for my parents and thinks like my parents which is not always a good thing.

VIII

One more thing, regarding empathy--personally, I think the longer JWs are in the less and less empathy they have for anyone outside the b0rg. That is the whole problem for people looking in from the outside.

They see these clean cut, neat people come to their doors who, if reality is looked at, are counting them as walking dead. Armageddon and all.

They have no empathy for people that reject The Truth. Once you reject it, you are dead in their eyes. That is the problem. That's the dilemma they face when it is family they may care for, yet, who may have rejected The Truth.

Does that make sense?

10

empathy - for jw is this possible?

by Married to the Mob in

the night before my wife went to dallas on a 2 week course i asked her a question.. "while your away, think about how i will feel going to my brother's wedding on my own?".

to cut a long story short my brother can be a bit of a obnoxious git at times.

he is the golden boy for my parents and thinks like my parents which is not always a good thing.

VIII

My apologies, I thought your family was in, including your wife, let me start over:

first off, myself and my side of the family are not in the borg! Never have been, never will be! My parents are Daily Mail readers!

You lucky man!!!

My wife is in the borg! Yes she married a worldly, however her mom who lives with us is hardcore r&f. She might be 84 going 85, but she is still putting in her field service! My wife while she likes some of the finer things of worldy life, she is still in the borg and the mentality shows.

I was out when I met my husband. My MIL was (she died this past spring) hardcore Catholic and despised that I wasn't. That is one thing that she never, ever, got over. My mom is hardcore r&f, though, thank God, she doesn't live with us. I would have killed her if she had. :-)

Have my parents been nasty, yes! My mum's idea of an xmas present this year to my wife was the worse necklace I have ever seen. IF it cost her five quid I would say she had been robbed! But lets be fair, my mum has been a bully her whole life, a trait she learnt from her mum, this I discovered from my uncle who was no end of support to us and helped me understand the ways of my mum.

My MIL always gave me crap at Xmas and on Bdays. However, I was thrilled just to get gifts. After being raised as a JW, getting gifts is nice. From anyone. Even crap is nice when you grow up getting nothing. My MIL is also the bully of the family. My BIL was bullied totally and lived with her until a few years ago. He never had a girlfriend and never learned how to deal with girls. She, too, learned it from an uncle. Uncle Leo. Weird, huh?

I have always supported my wife in arguements against my family. Even when we have had a game plan to deal with my parents and she (my wife) has veered big style from the plan, i have always supported her.

My wife's feeling are anger, at my parents for the way they behaved over our wedding, the way they behaved when we moved to canada, the way my brother and his wife to be are treated by them and the way my brother has behaved. Do I understand her anger, absolutely, do I feel her anger, yes as I have the same issues with them.

Your backing your wife is critical. I hope she realizes this. If not, she needs to read some advice columns. Many husbands don't support their wives when the family is nasty to the wife. I applaud your doing that.

I'm sure your parents were partly reacting to your wife being a JW and to your moving away. They are probably terrified that you might become one and or never have children. I am talking from experience here. My husband and I moved all over the States and my MIL blamed *ME* even though it was for his career.

My MIL always treated my BIL better also. He was her baby boy. My husband was OK with it. It annoyed me because I knew my husband accomplished so much more. In the end, it doesn't matter. I know it and so does my husband. He knows he accomplished a lot. He knows I love him and he is a great person even without her approval. I hope your wife loves you for what you've done and who you are.

It will not be nice to see my mum beam with joy over her new DIL when she could barely smile at my wedding. I have considered not going, but what does that solve? nothing, all i would end up doing is burning bridges. Am I pleased for my brother, yes, I hope he and his wife will be very happy.

My BIL never got married and I always wished he would have. I know, that no matter who my BIL married, my MIL would like them more. I'm OK with that because she and I always clashed. I know why. Perhaps it's age. Perhaps it's because she's dead. ;-) I do think you should go. Take the high road. You need a relationship with your brother. That is blood. My BIL and husband will always have that.

If my wife doesn't come, I am going to have to answer the questions from friends and family over where she is, deal with the comments from my parents, and whilst I will know plenty of people there, I will still be on my own. And at the end of the day when the wedding and the party is all over, i am going to end up in a hotel room on my own.

If your wife doesn't come it will reinforce the opinion that JWs are small minded and your parents will tell people you might be having marital problems. I would do anything to get your wife to go. Promise her you will not leave her for long. Promise her you won't make her sit with Aunt Matilda. What ever. Just get her to go. You'll both be happier if she goes. Get her a gift. Bribe her.

But I should be used to this, there have been a number of events where she has decided not to come leaving me high and dry to go on my own. xmas parties, evenings out. But this time its a wedding.......

The funny thing is that we have been seeing a marriage councilor for a year. I am learning, I need to communicate my feelings more, empathise more but she seems to be just going through the motions. If the councilling was to work, that would mean thinking and doing for herself.

I am so sorry. I know it is harder for men to communicate. It is easy in print on this board, for some. In face to face, it is like pulling teeth for most husbands to talk. I am married to one who thinks that talking is comprised of a grunt. Every once in a while he will really decide to talk and we will talk for 1-2 hours. He'll do most of it. I sit and listen. It's amazing.

BTW, I have been out of the b0rg for 25+ years. My Mom is still in.

10

empathy - for jw is this possible?

by Married to the Mob in

the night before my wife went to dallas on a 2 week course i asked her a question.. "while your away, think about how i will feel going to my brother's wedding on my own?".

to cut a long story short my brother can be a bit of a obnoxious git at times.

he is the golden boy for my parents and thinks like my parents which is not always a good thing.

VIII

Well, there are two dynamics: b0rg and Inlaws. Totally separate, yet, combined. They make for an impossible combo.

So, first off, you have to realise if your parents and your wife don't get along and/or like each other that is not going to change. Going to a wedding is not going to make it nice, make it better or make up for any of the underhanded below the belt slights your parents have done and said to her.

And, I guarantee you, they have said and done some nasty shit to her. They will and might have denied it, but, I would bet they have made her about as welcome as the Pope at a JW Funeral. Which would indicate her unwillingness to go to the wedding.

So, you and your wife have to talk about her feelings on why she feels the way she does. Yes, talk. You need to listen. Have some empathy for her.

I am the wife in this scenario, that is how I know about this stuff.

As for the JW stuff, if your wife has stopped believing, you are lucky. The fact that she is backing you up with disagreements with your family means she is on your side. She wants you on her side when your family turns on her. Does that make sense?

As for you and your brother not being best buds and pals--since he is in the b0rg and probably will be for life and is marrying a b0rg girl (I'm guessing here--sorry), you and he will always have an on/off relationship. But, you still need to keep those lines open, in case he leaves and wants someone to talk to. But, your wife comes first. You married her. She should be your best friend/confidant.

You both sound like couples therapy could really help.

I hope this helps a little. Good luck.

28

The most frightening time in this Worlds History!

by wannabe in

does the bible supply us with any information, that might give us, at least, some idea when this frightening time period will begin?does it show us, in some way, just how frightening this time period will be, and just what is the main cause of it?

" [matthew 24:8 niv}.

what was it that actually marked the beginning of these birth pangs?

VIII

Wannabe--Mom, is that you??!!

I never thought you'd make it to one of these Apostate sites. I am impressed. Though, I have to point out, your delivery needs work. I recognize you--sounds just like all those e-mails you've sent over the last few years. Canned, very canned.

I'll call you.

36

Sisters told they strictly can't wear slacks to Meetings to keep them submissive! Why?

by Witness 007 in

yes slacks and pants on women are evil.....the first step to wanting to be elders or even worse lesbians!

so the watchtower in it's wisdom put a strict bad on women wearing pants at meetings, even in siberia or alaska where it is freezing cold....i qoute the governing body who said: "we need to show these sisters who wears the pants in our congregations...literally.".

in the 70's when it was all the rage, my mum tried wearing slacks to the hall....."go and get changed" said the sister who studied with her.

VIII

LongHairGal, I'm under the impression that they have verbally pushed women, especially older ones, to have long hair.

You know--a Woman's Hair is Her Crowning Glory.

Something like that. My Mom's hair is really long--she trims it herself. She told me women should have long hair. She referenced that scripture. I literally gagged.

She's turning into a bible figure before my eyes.

36

Sisters told they strictly can't wear slacks to Meetings to keep them submissive! Why?

by Witness 007 in

yes slacks and pants on women are evil.....the first step to wanting to be elders or even worse lesbians!

so the watchtower in it's wisdom put a strict bad on women wearing pants at meetings, even in siberia or alaska where it is freezing cold....i qoute the governing body who said: "we need to show these sisters who wears the pants in our congregations...literally.".

in the 70's when it was all the rage, my mum tried wearing slacks to the hall....."go and get changed" said the sister who studied with her.

VIII

I never got to wear pants/slacks. Last time I went into a KH was in the mid 1980's.

I have tried and tried to push my Mom into wearing pants to the KH or out in FS. She flat out refuses and says it would not show proper respect to Jehovah. I said Jehovah wouldn't care if she were naked. Adam and Eve were. She was horrified.

I also said since the men in the cong were doing it to keep her in subjection, she should show her cajones and wear pants as a statement. That statement being: I know Jehovah knows what's in my heart and wouldn't care if I'm wearing pants or a turban.

(She did wear a turban, as a fashion statement in the 70's. Carol Burnett wore on on her show and she thought it was a good look. (NOT) and decided she could copy it, plus it masked a bad hair day.)

75

Just write something completely goofy!

by awildflower in

jw
friends

so this is inspired by my favorite poet edgar allen john doe!

sometimes we just need to say something completely goofy to relieve tension and have fun.

the pineapple king, with a feather in his hat and a spring in his step, finally helped the chicken cross the road!.

VIII

Poopsiecakes, that was the funniest thing I've read since I got my last Watchtower!!

And it was all true!!

4

Talk about coincidences!

by feenx in

jw
friends

so this past saturday my fiance and i were out getting costume items for a masquerade mardi gras event we were going to that night.

she had a specific store she needed to go to in an area of town we don't frequent.

you know how it is when your lady wants girly things ;).

VIII

gave me that finger thing that parents do, motioning for me to "come here."

You should have given him that finger that people do when then want to motion "f-you".